LOL I AM ORIGINAL GUYZ. So, Korean fangirling has made me forgotten my Japanese honorifics. Or something. Or maybe I'm just really lazy and am reverting to my North American roots. Anyway, this is pretty much AU – and I don't know where it's located because it doesn't seem too much like Japan but I don't want to commit myself and say that it's definitely in the U.S. Now, don't worry, this is going to be one of the very few and rare author's notes in this story. You won't see me around in here too often and all the following chapters are definitely going to have word counts in the mid to late one thousands, so it's okay! Also, this story is supposed to be chaptered, I don't have a plan, I'm trying to nurse my social life back into existence, and I haven't written PoT fanfiction in years. This is bad, and yet I'm excited. I disclaim any and all rights for Prince of Tennis, this extends into all chapters, and I apologize for glaring grammar and spelling errors I may not catch in this story as a whole.

Eiji was not expecting for his landlord to have been so serious about the whole eviction thing. Which kind of sort of explained why he was sitting on a bus stop with all his belongings, calling his oldest sister on his cell phone.

"So he told you that, if you didn't stop having loud guests over at absurd hours in the night, he was going to throw you out and you didn't believe him?" she asked, pretty incredulous and just generally unhelpful.

"It was Momo and I can't control when he has fights with his stupid girlfriend and comes crying to me!" Eiji really couldn't, it wasn't his fault, and if Momo wasn't currently living with said stupid girlfriend, he would have been the first Eiji demanded to resolve the situation by either monetary compensation or a place to sleep for the night – if not longer. But Momo was, so Eiji wouldn't; he'd had enough of those two and their constant warfare when he was living by himself.

"Well I'm not sure what you want me to do about this," she grumbled, "It's one in the morning and you're not even in the same town as me right now, why are you calling me? I am grumpy and pregnant, go bother someone else."

"WHY." Eiji whined, "WHY ARE YOU SO HURTFUL WHEN I AM HAVING A CRISIS AND AM IN IMMINENT DANGER OF BECOMING A HOBO. THEY ARE KILLED YOU KNOW, IN THEIR SLEEP AND STUFF."

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE REAL FRIENDS, THEN?"

Eiji groaned and peered at the bus schedule. There weren't any buses coming for the next couple hours, he was pretty much stranded with four filled suitcases and his sister was being uncooperative. "What do you suggest I do then, miss grumpy pregnant pants?"

She sighed. "I – really, seriously, don't you have friends close by, I can't do anything for you – "

"Oishi!" Eiji said, promptly cutting her off like it was his job, "I can't believe I didn't think of it, Oishi's like three neighborhoods away but he's definitely closer and cuter and more cooperative than you will ever be in your whole entire lifetime!"

"I despise you." she said simply, "you wake me up just when I get comfortable enough to fall asleep and you think up an answer to your own dilemma just like that?"

"Yes." Eiji answered casually, "Yes, that's how it works. Now goodbye, I have to go reacquaint myself with my most best best friend ever."

Oishi looked super pleased to see him. Or something. His jaw dropped, his eyes widened, he was speechless, and also Eiji's arms and legs and feet and hands were hurting from the Trek of Far Too Many Miles for a City Boy, as he had lovingly dubbed it, so Oishi had better be happy to see him.

"I was evicted, Momo is a jerk, and my family isn't ever helpful when it's important. Can I stay with you?" Without waiting for an answer, Eiji trudged in, kicking off his shoes and dragging his belongings in behind him.

"E-Eiji!" Oishi jumped into action, stammering and flailing all over the place as he grabbed at Eiji's bags. "You – you can't just – I wasn't expecting you!"

Eiji laughed and continued to impose himself. "Why are you so jumpy, did I interrupt something? Trying to sex it up with the girlfriend or something?"

Oishi flushed at this. "Oh my god – don't – Eiji – "

Eiji frowned a bit at Oishi's reaction. "I'm kidding." He paused and glanced around, "Oh my god, you're not really are you? I was kidding, oh my god that would be so super awkward if you really were, and I was just, I'm sorry – "

Oishi waved his hands frantically. "No, I'm saying that's not what's happening! It's just…this is…a very bad time for me," he finished lamely.

Eiji raised an eyebrow. "Because…" He trailed off, "you're trying to have sex with a guy then…?"

Oishi flushed to the shade of a cherry tomato at that. "NO. EIJI." He took a deep breath and tried again, "It's just very inconvenient for you to be around right now. For reasons that have nothing to do with anything sexual, at all. Really."

Eiji sighed and stared pleadingly up at Oishi. "Yeah but look, I just need to crash for tonight, I know where the guest bedroom is and the towels and extra blankets are and everything. I'll be quiet and fall asleep in record time, so just for the night, please?"

Oishi hesitated. Eiji pouted – he hoped he had retained his skills of looking too cute to deny from middle and high school. Oishi then sighed again and Eiji took it as a good sign.

"Fine," Oishi relented, "One night, it can't hurt. And then we'll work it all out and get you your own place in the morning. Goodnight."

Eiji beamed. "Thank you so much. You are awesome." And he proceeded to make his way down the hallway to get ready for bed.

Except –

Eiji wasn't thinking that Oishi was so awesome when a loud explosion and yelling woke him up at four in the morning. He was more thinking along the lines of 'um, what's going on?'