This is a one-shot based on an amzing drawing by muchacha10. Check her out on Tumblr or deviantART. Or it's been reblogged on my own Tumblr. User name is Livelifegleeful (same). Hope you like it!
The wind wrapped around Kurt like vines trying to halt his steps as he approached the graveyard gates. It rattled the old black iron gates making them shake like the leaves that were pulled from the trees. It tossed up around Kurt blowing leaves at him, messing up his hair and wrinkling his clothes, like it was determined not to let him into the graveyard. Kurt continued forward ignoring the sharp coldness against his face. He had been holed up in Dalton recently trying to catch up on everything that he hadn't really had the chance to come home.
Dalton, his safe haven from his horrible tormentors who had driven him from everything he loved and into the cold and unfamiliar place. At the start he had a unexplainable hate for the school, he wasn't pushed around for being different but there he wasn't really different. Dalton had taken away his clothes and with that his method of expressing himself. It seemed like Dalton had managed to do what the bullies had been trying to do all along, force him in the background and make him blend in.
Kurt Hummel had never been one for blending in even as a child. On his first day of school he had wore a bow tie, suspenders, newsboy cap, and a matching blue pants-shirt combo. An outfit, he had been told that he picked out himself. He was different and no one liked different. They wanted to live in an imaginary world where everything was happy and sadness, loss and grief didn't exist but from a very young age Kurt learned they did.
Losing his mother when he was eight changed everything, the resentful looks turned to ones to of pity and he preferred the resentment because that he could give a scathing retort to but the pity shined brightly in peoples voices, actions and eyes. It wasn't something he could snap at and it wasn't something he could hate.
He remembered with perfect clarity the moment his father told him that 'his mother had joined the angels', he was confused at first but with the realisation came the feeling of loss. It was like someone drove a fist into his chest and tore a piece of him out, they would never watch a Disney movie together again, or sing Broadway tunes while baking cookies, he would never smell her vanilla perfume, or see her soft smile that made the corners of her blue eyes crinkle slightly, her soft hair would never brush up against his face as she leaned down to kiss him goodnight.
Nine years later and the hole still throbbed like the day it was made. He had resigned to the fact that it would always be there but there was times when the pain dulled, sometimes he even forgot it was there and that happened whenever he was with Blaine. The name itself sent a soft shiver down his spine.
Blaine Anderson was a unique person, he was polite and courteous but also crazy and spontaneous. He was a mystery and Kurt was only on the first layer of many. He made Kurt feel safe when no one else could, he helped him with the Karofsky problem and many others. He had told him to have courage to look his fear in the face and tell it just how out of season it was and it worked until that stupid kiss. Sometimes, he could still feel Karofsky's sweaty hands pressed against his cheeks, his harsh lips forcing themselves onto Kurt's. Blaine helped him even though they didn't really know each other all that well then he put himself in danger for Kurt and he wasn't sure he would ever really forgive himself for letting Blaine do that.
Blaine was what made Dalton bearable, Kurt loved the Warblers but they weren't him. They were a formatted group of near military precision and Kurt wasn't. He was a bright red splotch amongst the canvas of beiges and creams. He stuck out but not in the way he wanted, he didn't really belong in the Warblers but Blaine did and Kurt belonged with Blaine. He made those late night cram sessions easier when he popped by with a latte and a copy of Beauty and the Beast. He made facing the Warblers less tense when he shot of a quick joke or a reference to a favourite book or movie of Kurt's. He made everything better, easier and Kurt loved him for it.
Kurt loved him and if he didn't tell someone he was going to explode. That was the reason he found himself in a graveyard despite the horrible weather at seven am on a Saturday. He sucked in a slightly shaky breath when his destination came into view. It had been a month, maybe more since he had been here and the guilt crashed down on him like a wave washing away whatever little control he had left.
He dropped down on his knees in front of the marble head stone and reached out with a shaking hand to touch it. His grip tightened on the flowers in his hand as he read over the engraving.
In Loving Memory Of
Elizabeth Angela Hummel
17 July 1958 - 22 October 2000
Daughter, Sister, Mother, Wife.
Rest In Peace
It was like another punch to his chest looking at the grave, all that was left of his once alive and adventurous mother was a piece of rock. He needed to talk to someone and his mom was the best listener he knew. He opened his mouth and let out a stuttering breath before beginning to talk.
"Hi mom, I'm sorry it's been so long but everything has just been so crazy lately. I have so much to tell you.". His breath caught slightly and he felt a burning in his eyes.
"I got out of McKinley, away from the bullies. I'm going to Dalton Academy now, you would've loved it, so old and just amazing. And you kept your promise". The cold wind burned his face blowing away the single tear drop that had begun to fall.
"I met someone, mom, I think you'd really like him. He's kind, sweet and handsome….. Just like the princes in the storybooks you used to read me.". It was time to admit what he had been hiding for so long, admit it to the one person he trusted whole-heartedly.
"I…. I love him. He makes me so happy….. I didn't think I could be this happy". Kurt wasn't sure what to expect when he said it but he defiantly didn't expect the need to laugh. He let out a short laugh turning his head away, the tears now flowing freely down his face.
"I wish you could have met him… He'd love you too. I miss you so much mom. I brought you lilies, your favourite". He let out a sad smile as he placed the flowers carefully on the grave. He stood with shaky legs and wiped the tears away. He rested a hand on top of the grave.
"I love you mom. I'll see you soon.". He removed his hand from the frigid marble before turning and walking back towards the entrance of the graveyard.
It hurt to walk away, it felt like leaving a piece of himself behind, it always did. This time was slightly different though, telling his mother something that had been festering deep within him felt good. He tried to imagine what she would have said had she still been alive but he couldn't.
He jumped when the opening bars 'Teenage Dream' began to drift from his pocket, disrupting the peaceful silence of the graveyard. He had set that ring tone for Blaine as it had been sung the first time they met and Kurt was sure it was when he had fallen in love with him.
"Hello?". He cringed when he heard how hoarse his voice sounded, Blaine would zero in on it right away.
"Kurt, are you alright?". Blaine's smooth baritone voice washed over Kurt filing him with a sense of acceptance and calm.
Was he alright? No, not really. He was still scarred from the bullying, the death of his mother, his fathers heart attack. He looked back at his mother grave squinting slightly as it was now far away.
"Kurt?". Blaine's voice was full of concern and Kurt knew that he needed the boy right now.
"Can we meet up?". Kurt's voice sounded almost childlike to his own ears but he couldn't find it in himself to care right now
"Yeah Kurt of course. Where?". The utter sincerity and kindness in Blaine's voice just tugged on something inside of Kurt. Before he could control it a sob escaped his throat.
"Kurt? Kurt? What's wrong? Are you okay?". Blaine's voice had risen an octave and hints of worry and panic were seeping in. Another sob escaped his throat and he heard Blaine suck in a sharp breath as though he himself were in pain.
"West McKinley memorial cemetery". He heard Blaine's frantic movements over the phone as he began to run, Kurt guessed from the sounds of it.
"I'm coming Kurt. I'm so sorry...I-". Blaine's rambling sentences were spoke through pants. Kurt bit down on his lip but quickly stopped when he felt a coppery taste in his mouth.
"Blaine, I-". He couldn't do it, not now, not here when he was like this, "Thank you for doing this".
"Always Kurt". Blaine's soft voice came through the phone wrapping Kurt up once again in that warm sense of love and kindness just like his mothers used to. Kurt loved Blaine and he knew when the first drop of water hit his face his mother wanted him to let Blaine know that. He smiled as he looked up at the falling rain. He relished the feel of it coursing down his face, he closed his eyes and took a breath a soft smile playing at his lips.
"Blaine….I love you…..". Kurt held his breath as he waited for a response. He felt his heart stop as a laugh came from Blaine.
"God, Kurt…..I love you so much. I have for awhile. We can talk when we get there". Kurt let out his own laugh as he let the words wrap around the hole in his chest soothing the stinging edges. He thought back to Blaine's first question 'Was he alright?'. Not really but with Blaine he would be.
He looked out to the cemetery and at his mothers grave.
"Thanks mom".
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