This is my first songfic!! It's only a one shot. I don't really like Jacob but he was an important part of New Moon and he is important in this fic. I chose the song Near to You because if you listen to it, it is so New Moon! Anyways, I hope you like it :)

Disclaimer: I do not own A fine Frenzy or Near to You, I do not own twilight or Stephenie Meyer or New Moon because if I did Edward and Bella would be together forever and Jacob would go live in a cave by himself! (Sorry I dislike Jacob very much)

Please R&R!!! Thankies :P

I miss his golden eyes, his brilliant face, his gentle touch…I miss him. Everything we had together it was so perfect, yeah sure there were a few rough patches in our relationship but then again there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. James was dead but he didn't think that was right to be with me. That day in the forest…he left and I was alone. I loved him too much to simply let him go like that, but he just didn't return his love to me, so I had to let him go. That memory is just too clear to forget, it runs constantly over and over in my head. "You don't want me?"

"No."

He and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved him so but I let him go
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back

The long months passed and it was as though I was in a dump, I just couldn't deal with the fact that he had left me. I felt as though nothing else in my world mattered anymore and I couldn't change that. He was gone. The memories of him and I were almost too clear inside my head and I just couldn't forget. His smile, the smile I loved, would I ever see that smile again? Only in my thoughts. I didn't leave the house other than for school, I no longer had any friends that would talk to me, I was in a slump and I couldn't get out. October, November, December, January passed slowly. It will be as though I never existed. But the only problem was that he had existed and I would never be able to forget him.

Such pain as this
Shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious

My dad finally talked a little more sense into me and it was when I went to see the Zombie movie with Jessica that everything changed. I had heard his voice. It was as clear as if he was standing right in front of me, but he wasn't. I had promised him that I wouldn't do anything reckless or stupid but when I saw a couple or motor bikes in Markses' yard, I decided that I needed to be a bit more adventurous, take chances, that kind of thing. The bikes were pretty useless seeing as 1. They were broken and 2. I didn't now how to ride a motorcycle. I didn't want to take them to an expensive auto shop so I thought…there was one mechanic I knew, Jacob Black. When I went to his house and saw him again, I felt happy to see him something I hadn't felt in a while. Emotion, comfort, enthusiasm.

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

The time I spent with Jacob, I discovered it was different than being with him. More risk, more chances and yet I still felt completely safe around Jacob. We worked on our bikes together, although I didn't do too much, we became closer. Friends. One night I came home from Jacob's, that night was the first night in more than four months that I hadn't dreamed or screamed in my sleep. I went to see Jacob a lot and every time I enjoyed myself. It was when we finally finished the bikes that I heard his voice again, he didn't want me to ride my bike. I didn't listen. I ended up with a huge cut on my fore head, it was bleeding like crazy, but around Jake I didn't have to worry about blood, it felt different to not worry.

You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

It was after the movies with Mike and Jake, we all got the stomach flu, it passed for me and Mike, but for Jacob it didn't. I wasn't allowed to visit him or see him anymore. Not being around him struck me pretty hard, all the nightmares and thoughts came back. It will be as though I'd never existed. I couldn't get him out of my head. When I went to visit the meadow where he and I had gone before I saw someone I hadn't seen in a while, Laurent. He wanted to kill me. That was when I heard his voice again. But I didn't have to do anything to protect myself, I saw something I'd never seen before, they looked like abnormally large wolves. They scared Laurent away. That week, Jacob told me he didn't want to be friends with me anymore, I didn't understand. Later that night he came to my room (from the tree next to my window, it nearly gave me a heart attack) he told me that he had a secret and that I had to try to guess what it was, he said I already knew what his secret was, from the Quileute legends. That night I had a dream and when I woke up I had said, "Werewolf."

He's disappearing
Fading suddelly
I'm so close to being yours
Won't you stay with me
Please

He and I talked a lot after I found out his secret, I told him what I knew and he did the same. Our verdict was that Victoria was coming after me, to kill me. The Quileute brothers had to protect me. At least we were friends again, being in danger really brought him and I closer again. They caught a scent of Victoria and had to track it. Meanwhile I went down to the beach. I thought about several things, I thought about him, I thought about Jacob, I thought about what would happen after all this, I thought…about cliff diving. I realized that there wasn't a point in living if the person I truly cared about was gone, forever. I would be leaving Jacob, but all of this, the werewolves, vampires, everything would be gone. I didn't want to be chased by vampires trying to kill me anymore, I was done with that. I approached the edge of the cliff. I love Jacob, but I am in love with, with…Edward.

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

The next moment, I was flying through the air or rather falling down to the water. I heard his voice, it was yelling to me, telling me to keep trying to fight against the waves, but I couldn't I was about to give up my last thoughts before I fell unconscious were Goodbye, I love you. I wasn't sure what was going on, I was way out of it. The next thing I knew I was lying on the beach, Jacob was breathing into my mouth. His warm breath filled my entire body. My eyes fluttered open and I was awake, of course the water wasn't completely out of my system so I started throwing up. Jacob held my hair back as I did. I was cold. I was week. I was alive. Jacob picked me up and took me into a cave, I was so tired. How did he get me out of the water? What had happened with Victoria? I hadn't the slightest clue.


I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I belong
Where you are

I felt so much better now that Jacob was holding me close to him, despite the rainy, stormy weather, he was only wearing some old jeans and sneakers, probably a werewolf thing. He felt warm as usual. My thoughts were still jumbled up and I was still worried about everything. He had to come back. What if he didn't though? What if Jacob and I were supposed to be more than friends? What if I was really supposed to forget everything about him? I couldn't. No, I wouldn't. I rested for a while, thinking at the same time. I only wished that he would've been with me forever, but then again some part of me would've wanted Jacob too. I just felt so different with Jacob, it would be right to be with him, it would be what he would've wanted. I was happy with Jacob. I loved him, but I was only in love with Edward. I couldn't move on.


Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
Though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on


I had an unexpected visitor that week, Alice Cullen. I was so grateful to see her again. I wasn't quite sure way she was here though. But I didn't really care, she was here, that's all that mattered. Alice had come because she thought that I had died. She had told him what she had seen. Then when Jacob came he just made all matters worse. Carlisle called and Jacob answered he didn't even let me talk to him. Jacob told Carlisle that Charlie was at the funeral. That's when everything went horribly, terribly wrong. Alice then told us that it wasn't Carlisle on the phone but it had been him and he still thought I was dead. He was headed to the Volterra, he wanted to kill himself. You don't irritate them. Not unless you want to die. We had to leave right away. I felt bad leaving Jacob so I quickly gave him a quick peck on the check hopefully he would forgive me for everything.

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

I wasn't going to let him die for me, he deserved better than that. I was just beginning to recover from him leaving me and now I had to go find him before it was too late. Alice and I left for Italy on the first flight we could catch. It was literally a race for life or death. And I wasn't going to let him die. I felt sort of bad that I had just left Jacob like that, him and I liked each other as friends and if he wasn't about to go kill himself we probably could've been more. If things were less complicated, if Alice hadn't known, if Rosalie hadn't told Edward, if the Cullen's hadn't come to Forks then Jacob and the gang wouldn't have transformed and he wouldn't be a werewolf and things could've worked out between us but it wasn't like that I love Edward…

Yet, I'm better near to you.

Hope hope you liked it! Review please!!!!!!