This is something that would not stop bugging me today. Very different than what I usually write. I hope you enjoy it somewhat. Tomorrow chapter 15 of "OH Castle" will be out. Thank you for reading.
Disclaimer- none of these characters belong to me, and that's a darn shame.
Dear Castle,
I remember the day it happened. I had cried for what seemed like an eternity and when there were no tears left, I started to pick up the pieces, that's when you first entered my life.
I picked up the book from my mother's nightstand and held it to my chest. It still smelled like her. Mom had tried to get me to read it, but part of being a teenager was being stubborn and defiant. I never picked it up, and now it was too late. Now we would never discuss it or share favorite parts. It was still a part of her that I could touch, so I looked for all your books in our house, took them into my room, and read.
The year after her death was horrible. My dad escaped the pain at the bottom of a bottle. I became careless, rode my bike fast and didn't make the best choices in whom I was with and what I did to feel again.
Then I started reading the books and couldn't get enough. In them, I found justice for the victims and their families, the kind my heart searched for. I found a dry humor that cut through some of the darkness enveloping me. I found character I could relate to and wanted to be like. I started to think about law enforcement then.
Your characters brought me peace and a place to escape to, where I could heal and put myself together. They did everything I wish I could do. Then I entered the Academy; I read your books over and over.
I even went to a signing where I met you. The signed book was one of the few that survived the apartment bomb because I keep it stored away; I own it in paperback so it can be read. The rest of the books are worn and well loved.
As I read the books the person that wrote them mesmerized me. I read the book jackets, signed up to your fan club, and always looked to find you on the society page. Let me tell you, you didn't disappoint, you were always somewhere with a beautiful woman draped on your arm.
When I first met you, I was annoyed that the man I had made up was so far from the immature, selfish man in front of me. Though I must say that I was more than tempted to take you up on your offer. Imagine when I went to work the next day and had you assigned by the mayor to be my shadow.
Every tough case we had, I would go back to my apartment and fill the bathtub and soak in it with one of your books. They gave me comfort again. When you left to the Hamptons with Gina and I missed my chance with you, I read your books to get me through the summer, even though I was pissed at you.
Since my mother's death, I have turned to you Castle and you didn't even know it. You saved me from the rabbit hole numerous times, given me peace when I needed it, and an escape when there was nothing else I could do.
You say I didn't see you for three months, and I am so sorry. I needed to put myself back together. I needed to face so many things I was avoiding. But you weren't far away, Castle. You were on my nightstand, on the coffee table, in the car and everywhere around me. I read your words and found comfort and strength in them. I found love, support and hope. I am sorry for not calling.
If you didn't notice when I went to the Heat Rises autograph session, I had my own book, which I had already read and knew the ending. I've already read it three times. I knew it had to have been hard for you, and I am sorry I was not there to help you. The book is one of your best.
So Castle, there is a part of you that will always be with me. That will always be part of my life and my past. You are ingrained every bit of my being, with just your words on the pages. Thank you for sharing your gift and helping me get to where I am today.
Now to describe the man, I have no words, because the words to describe my friend, my partner, my shoulder, my guardian, and my life just aren't enough. Thank you for saving my life and for helping me find life again. Don't give up on me.
Your partner and friend,
Always,
Kate
Kate folded the letter, put it in an envelope and then stuffed it in the top drawer of her desk, until she got up the nerve to send it. She wrote it out, that was a step in the right direction; it was a step closer to healing.
Thank you for reading.