A/N Polychromatism present! I'm bringing you a one shot I shouldn't be writing, seeing as I am in the middle of a story. Oh well. It's just a little fic spurred by my hatred of my math homework and frustration of giving into my anger and letting my crone of a teacher get under my skin. Oh, and my love of Teen Titans and Raven's inner battles. Without further ado, the piece!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even my inner demons. I'm pretty sure it's the other way around with them. Nasty buggers.
It's not like most people think.
Anger.
She doesn't burst forth in some show of power, though it may seem that way. She is always there in the back of my mind tempting me, whispering sweet nothings.
It would be so much easier to give me control.
There's no use in fighting yourself.
I'm a part of you, I'm not your enemy.
As strong as I may seem, I'm weak inside. There is just so much hurt bottled up that I can never release without fear of damaging something, or someone, that Anger grows stronger everyday. They say anger is just fear directed outwards. I say that's not true for me. Anger is real. And Anger is hungry. She will eat the little bit of soul I'm in possession of until I am no more.
I can't let that happen, not if I am to amount to anything. All my life I had accepted that I would be part of some great and terrible cosmic prophecy, and I was. For a time. Yet my friends would not give up on me, sheer hope kept them alive, and soon brought me back to life. I awoke from my reverie to a world in turmoil, one I was responsible for saving. I did.
He's gone, for now. But I can never truly be rid of him, his very essence taints me. No matter how many showers I take, no matter how much I meditate, I cannot purge myself of him. And so I am engaged in an eternal battle, one I will not escape from, maybe not even in death. So I fight.
But one can only fight for so long, there are times when I give in. No, Anger very rarely forcefully takes over. I give her control. And that scares me. Who am I to call myself a hero when I succumb so easily to the pleas of Anger? She doesn't scream, yell, force herself into control, she whispers, coos, laces threads of herself to slowly beg me into submission. So I hand control over, making my soul even more blackened then before.
Am I worthy of my title? Of my friends? When Anger so easily gets the best of me.
No.
But I have them, and I plan to make myself worthy.
A/N Like? Dislike? Meh? It's just something that I felt the need to write, mostly because I have issues with anger myself. Not bad need-a-psychiatrist-issues but issues nonetheless, and I can sort of relate to Raven on the 'how much anger sucks' level. You might not agree with what I wrote, but for some reason this is how I imagine Raven is, not sure why.
I realize that when BB and Cyborg went into her mind, Anger was Trigon and she had to fight her (him?), one of the few times I believe Anger forcefully took over.
No, I have no evidence to support Anger tempts Raven into letting her take over, just how I feel it could happen, so please, no flames due to my ignorance :) (You can flame bad writing however.)