A/N: This is a goofy little ditty me and a five other friends wrote one night during a party as one of my friends' house. It mentions FF8, Gundam Wing, Dragon Ball Z, Hanson, Armitage The III, and ourselves. Be very, very prepared to enter our world of weirdness.
Another A/N: Here's how we wrote this: We started with a piece of paper and a pen. We each wrote only one sentence before passing it along to the next person. They would add a sentence, pass it on, etc. We were only allowed to add once sentence unless one sentence was leading to a quote, in which case the person really added two sentences. The only other exception is the ending 'paragraph,' which actually has a few sentences.
One More A/N: This ditty has a few inside jokes, which I will note by adding *'s after the line, and I will attempt to explain at the end of the story. It's not too hard to follow, so have fun.
Disclaimer: Oh, yea, almost forgot this little thingie. I don't own any of the following people mentioned, nor do any of the other people who wrote this. There is a mention (a mention? Hehe) of yaoi in here, nothing graphic, there's guys giving birth, murder, news reports, and cute little bunnies! Enjoy.
Person #1 (Myself): Zell stood in the cafeteria, waiting in like for some fresh hot dogs.
Person #2 (Orchid0918): Seifer walked in wearing a hot-pink thong and singing to Hanson*(1).
Person #3 (Rebecca): Raijin walks over and puts his hands on Seifer's shoulders, whistling for Zell to take himself and his hot-dogs over to Seifer and himself.
Person #4 (Shingo the Pest): Zell glared at them both, then went to sit by Squall and Rinoa.
Person #5 (Pendragon): "Yo-yo," said a passing maniac.
Person #6 (Ashleigh): "What the heck is your problem?" Seifer said, glaring at the screwball.
#1: Suddenly, Seifer grabbed Zell and planted a huge kiss right on his lips.
#2: Squall screamed in rage and grabbed Zell from Seifer. "He's mine, bastard," he yelled.
#3: Hey, chill, man," Seifer coaxed. "We can share him - but I get hum first."
#4: Squall grabbed a dumbstruck Zell as Rinoa and everyone else in the cafeteria went bug-eyed. "No - my bitch," he said.
#5: "Why are you dressed like a French maid?" Zell questioned Squall.
#6: "What the heck are you doing here?" Quistis demanded, punching Selphie and shoving her over the balcony, watching her screaming in agony. "Die, bitch, die," Quistis said.*(2)
#1: Suddenly, the French maid-dressed Squall went into labor.*(3)
#2: From out of nowhere, Ifrit appeared and started rapping to music that played from someplace unknown while holding a piece of broccoli.*(4)
#3: Irvine rushed up to Squall and held his hands supportively. "It's okay. We'll both have our babies at the same time," he said, while patting his own abdomen.*(3)
#4: Under their clothing, their flesh began to bulge and stretch.
#5: On a totally unrelated topic, Hanson was crushed by an over-sized anvil that read, in large letters, "No talent."*(5)
#6: "Ah! You killed Hanson," Squall shouted. "Hip, hip, hooray!"
#1: Seifer began complaining that no one was talking about him. "I wanna fuck someone!" he yelled.
#2: "Oh, the humanity!" Rinoa yelled and was suddenly inpaled by Fuuma's sword, them Kamoi appeared and the two began passionately making out.
#3: Narrator: Um, *ahem*, what the hell are you two doing to each other?
#4: Fuuma and Kamoi ignored the narrator as they pursued better activities, Squall and Irvine lay on the floor surrounded by giggling bunnies*(6), and Seifer grabbed a gaping Zell and ran out of the chaotic cafeteria.
#5: Also on another topic, Quatre was drowned and eaten by piranhas.
#6: He would've died, but his girlfriend persuaded Vegeta to dive into the water and save his life, and Quatre was nursed back to life by his girlfriend.
#1: Seifer and Zell reached Seifer's room as Seifer closed the door. "It's time for me to show you my undying love for you," he said.
#2: On yet another topic, Armitage the III (ooh, ahh) came and shot Quatre, Vegeta, and their girlfriend through the head and they all died.
#3: Zell chuckled evilly and said in a low, suggestive, voice, "You aren't they only one wearing a thong." So saying, he kissed Seifer passionately.
#4: News update: an unimportant girl names Sara was killed today when The Gundam Sandrock went berserk with no pilot and stepped on her house . . .
#5: . . . which she wasn't in at the time, and an even more unimportant girl named Amanda was mauled by a pack of wolves, three bears, a horny lion, two dead fish, and an umbrella. *(7)
#6: The ghosts of Vegeta, Quatre, and Ashleigh (Quatre's girlfriend) came back to haunt the group.
#1: Meanwhile, Seifer and Zell were in the process of passionately making out on Seifer's bed.
#2: Screaming, Quistis ran through the cafeteria, hit a wall, and kept doing so like a video game from insanity, trampling all the cute bunnies around Squall and Irvine.
#3: By now, Zell and Seifer were going at it, Irvine and Squall and delivered, Quistis was declared officially insane, and Fuuma and Rinoa were doing the same thing (roughly) as Seifer and Zell [A/N: Interesting how they can do that when Fuuma killed Rinoa earlier. Is Fuuma a necropheliac or someting? Hehe.]. Meanwhile, the ghosts of Sara, Ashleigh, Amanda, Vegeta, and Quatre were having an interesting conversation about the yo-yo maniac mentioned on page 1.
*(1): While we were writing this, we were also fast-forwarding through a Hanson video we were watching. Many people at the party did not like Hanson, thus, the Hanson jokes.
*(2): *sad sigh* No one likes Selphie. No one.
*(3): Hehe, alright, here's how this happened. Erin has been playing FF8 earlier during the party and was fighting Ultimecia when the message "Irvine's Water was blown away" appeared at the top of the screen. Someone (I'm getting a nagging feeling it was me) yelled, "Oh, my God, Irvine's going into labor!" The joke stuck throughout the entire night, followed with jokes as to who's 'mommy' (Someone then said, "Well, that Irvine - who's daddy?") as well as speculation as to who the child is/will be.
*(4): Well, I dunno about the rapping thing, but the broccoli is from the Hanson video. One of them was holding a piece of broccoli in front of the camera and saying, "It's like a Puff Daddy video. 'Yo, I'm Puff Greenie, rappin', yea, uh-uh'" etc. It was weird, scary, and disturbing.
*(5): Once again, the Hanson jokes. (see comment *1)
*(6): The bunnies came from the video Pet Shop of Horrors we were watching, in which one show was populated by flesh-eatting bunnies. Scary.
*(7): I swear to God & every other deity out there that this is what she wrote. I swear.
General Notes:
I don't think anything I could say would apoligize for this. I am truly, truly sorry.