Hello! This is the author talking here, and who else would it be? So to play it short, this is my first public Fanfic. I'm not sure really what to say, so I'm going to leave an awkward pause here ("Awkward pause"). Joking aside though, I am so grateful that you took the time to read this story. Go you! You deserve a handshake or something for this...So till next time. See ya!

Guide: Inner thoughts. 'Mind talk' "Regular talk" BOLD WORDS.

Disclaimer; I do not own any of the characters or plot elements from Gainax, all and similar pieces are used by chance. This story is made for entertainment purposes.

Chapter One - Forgotten Memories

Blurry scenes. Grey hair. Short blue silky hair. Two pairs of red, piercing eyes. The smell of the Nerv Bathhouses. Blood came. Tears wept. Shame felt. Pain wellknown. Guilt thrown. His Eva & Angels. Lilith & Adam. The start of something new. Nothing.

The feeling of nothing. Dark silence penetrated every pore of this universe. A single person floated in eternal emptiness.

'Am I dead?' It seemed to be alive at the very least, and asking questions was at the forefront of its mind.

Akin to being washed away by a flowing river, body numb to the ripples, mind not knowing where it heads. It cleanses the heart, but scares the mind. Closer inspection showed that the person was a young boy, most likely to be in his teenage years.

'How can I be sure I'm dead? Where does my body start and where does it stop? What exactly is making me feel this?'

Again, the boy couldn't feel anything, as if he had lost his body, but kept his mind collected. He felt as if he was truly alone in this place, the only thing that seem to function was his sight, he could see shadows and particles moving around him. 'I can't see.' The boy finally realized he was engulfed in blackness. 'Help!' 'Help!' 'HELP!' 'HELP!'

'...'

'Somebody just please save me…' Nobody answered the boy's calls, he just quit trying altogether. Horrifying parts of his mind tortured him, making him relive the moments that led up to this. He thought things would be different after he took this chance, but he was wrong. Horribly wrong.

'This reminds me of the Dilac Sea, instead of forever white, it's black.I wonder if mother will show up and talk to me? … Misato is probably on the other side, waiting for me to be rescued, and Asuka is getting irritated that I can't cook and clean for her.She's a lost cause. Misato should scold me, but she won't. Asuka will punish me, with no care in the world. … I wonder if this was planned by my father too. That bastard,he never cared for me.' I'm causing more trouble than I'm worth right now. … I'll have to apologize to all my friends when I get back.

*Sigh*

'I'm sorry everyone...'

Time passed, and the person held there suffered at their isolation. The boy thought he had been screaming for hours, but he had no content of time, so he really didn't know how long ago he quit and gave up for help. He just drifted around like this for awhile. 'Is this my punishment for doing what everyone told me to?Why did I deserve this?! What happened? Why does everything feel fuzzy!?' Frustration poured out of the boy, there was nothing to take it out on, so he quelled it for now. The boy started to cry, not knowing what to do with himself, but suddenly the tension shifted, he felt for the first time as if things changed. He couldn't describe it, because he still had no feeling, but something was different. He stopped crying and once again spoke out.

'Hello?' The boy asked carefully.

…

Yet the sound only hit dull nothing, reminding the captor of his task. The young brown haired boy started to shake, not due to experiencing nothing, but left alone when he had been promised that things would be altered. He attempted another time at communication.

'Anyone THERE?!'

…

Once again silence greeted the traveler, basking him in solitude. The boy's temper started to bubble, making him angry at everything, and nothing at all.

'This is your fault! I was just used, nothing more than a toy to people!' I never received what should have been mine!' His words that aimed at the darkness cut nobody, yet his angry words were fruitful in someway. A moment passed before sound was directed at him.

'Then what did those people do to you then if not help Shinji-kun?' Ikari was shocked, a voice! Finally something or someone came to help him! The voice carried no physical body though, it instead stuck to the darkness surrounding Shinji. Shinji didn't wait for a reply and unsteadily answered.

'They wanted me for their plans! For revenge! For self purpose! For answers!' He yelled into the void, not sure where to direct his anger at.

'They did what exactly as you did, as all people do. People use each other to support one's mind, it has always been like such for the Lilith.' The voice told boldly of everything, carrying more wisdom of words than humanly possible.

'I just wanted to find something, to make it worth the pain!'

'Life is pain Shinji, learn now. All Lilith do not make promises on the words of themselves. Their minds change as much at their mortal bodies, this path is gourged in sorrow, because it is an uncertain one. This is why I gave you the chance to make this world a better place for yourself.' 'Now go.'

...

'What does it know anyway, a voice that tells me psychological meaning? It doesn't really know what I've felt inside.' Images passed of the battles with Angels, being burned in LCL, being mutilated, having your Eva hurt your very friends, Evas brought nothing but pain and suffering! More images passed of a fiery red head girl, a raven haired woman, a blue silk covered head that bore red eyes, and many more followed.

'Nobody understood me, and I couldn't understand them.It was better to keep to myself.' But...but was it the right thing to do? Yes! 'Yes it was, it saved me from unnecessary pain! Pain that was too much for me to handle!'

'You're wrong Shinji.'

'Huh? What do you want, what do you care?' Shinji had enough of this. He held no care for the voice anymore.

'I care for all Lilith, and you so much more than that.' The statement came out as bold, Shinji probably would have blushed in the situation, but he still felt nothing, not even his skin picked up on the environment he was in.

'Who are you? An angel?

…

'God even?'

The voice, for once, broke character and let out a whimsical laugh that lasted for a few short seconds. A laugh that only confused Shinji Ikari even more.

'I'm nothing of the sort, but you among all should realize who I am, and what me and my peers have planned to protect you and the future of mankind.'

'Who is this person? I feel like I should know who it is, but I can't get a grasp. My mind feels like mush, and my memories are starting to fog. Oh god, what's happening to me?' The voice settled back into character. It acted as if everything was foreseeable and knew every step to take. It took a second to control itself, then released soughtful infused words.

'Be prepared now.' It spoke a pre warning, one that spoke of the heavy situation at hand. For a few seconds of barren emptiness no concern for words, or actions were needed, then it hit. A dim light could be seen emerging at one side of the darkness, if the darkness did have sides that is, distracting Shinji from his thoughts. He saw that he was fully clothed in his school outfit, but that wasn't the only thing going on. Shinji finally felt his body, he could move his fingers and know what the touch of skin brushing skin was again. But the feelings quickly left, as if he had no privilege to him. Instead pain coursed through him now, and it was not pleasant. A dull pain at first quickly erupted into blistering hot pain surging along his body, replacing the calm atmosphere with grunts and calls of suffering. His spine buckled under the pressure, all of his limbs were erratic, he lowered his head to his palms to feel some closure within himself. He couldn't help but scream out in pain.

'NghhAWWWWWWWWWWWhhmakeitahhhhhhstop!'

'Sorry Shinji this is the price for sacrifice you paid.' This was all it spoke. 'Good for nothing voice, telling me these insightful things, but not even making an effort to help me at all!' Shinji was assaulted with another wave of pain, it radiated from him, making the area close to him hostile and dangerous. It never ceased to slow down at all, he knew if this kept going he would break down. He had no acceptance of this striking, red hot distress, but he had no idea of what to do either. As one final attempt, he pleaded for it to stop, to make it go away.

'AGGGGhhhpleasepleasepleasestop!…'

The pain lessened, as if his request had the power for it to listen. Soon more light flooded the darkness, opening up what was concealed in shadow. Shinji finally stopped screaming, keeping it to just grunts as the pain slowed, but quickly noticed something more frightening. The Earth. He could see it, and he could see the stars surrounding it and the Sun off in the distance. The only thing that was missing was the moon. It was if it was hidden the whole time, just caked away with some allusion and tricks. That meant he had to be in space or something right? But Shinji noticed he hadn't taken a single breath in the whole argument. Actually, he never even spoken a word in the argument, it was taking place all in his mind.

What else seemed peculiar was that something was edging on the Earth. It started to spread around, the qualities of it were something of a fire, but it was blazing white, and eating away at the Earth looked like it's job. Countries and oceans started to disappear. Water evaporated and lands burned bright of the hellish fire. Chunks of the Earth started to go missing too, they either totally went missing from sight, or started to float away from Earth.

'Am I dreaming? This all had to be a dream right? I can't decide, the pain is too real for it to be a dream.'

'This is real life, expect the worst, and the best of things to clash at the same time, like a wave of emotions with no stop. That is what Lilith call "living".'

Everything was going on too fast. He was dealing with isolation, confusing words, pain, heartache, It was his life. He was reliving his days all in an instant flash. Shinji could hear a low rumble, as if something was off in the distance.

'It can't be possible, I'm in space, I shouldn't be able to hear anything. What is this reality?' The rumbling stopped, suddenly things came crashing down. That was when the screaming started again, except it was Shinji screaming this time. The screams from millions of people began invading Shinji's mind, making it feel as if multiple razors touched his brain. He couldn't bare it. He could hear children crying, kids yelling, adults bowling in terror, people dying, it sounded like death and rebirth itself.

'NononoNoNoNoNONONOOOOOO!'

'Why is this happening to me?!' The boy asked again but still received no answer.

He felt warm liquid roll down his cheek. The boy lifted his hand up to his face to check for tears, his eyes gazed at the hand that had just touched. Crimson red stared back at him. He was crying blood. The voices and screaming were at the back of his mind now, he had a bigger issue to deal with. He was shocked to say the least, unable to stop the flow, he grabbed the shirt he had on and used it to stop the bleeding. After careful minutes of wiping Shinji noticed that the voices had stopped, he didn't know what was happening. He checked his surroundings, but saw nothing. The earth was gone, he saw as one last bit of the white flames consumed a piece of land, after a second of having no fuel left, it burnt out. All that remained in sight was the Sun and the stars. They looked eternal as ever, flowing in neverending glory.

'What type of god would do this?' It was just a humble whisper in his mind, but it spoke as if announced by yelling.

'This is not the work of a god Shinji, this is the attempt at power through the efforts of Lilith. If the Lilith can see anything in their grasp, they will put their whole body, soul, and mind into claiming what they think should be theirs. It is a pitiful way to bring them closer to one another, but sometimes it only ends in pain. You know of what I speak of, do you not, Shinji Ikari?

These words rang hard within Shinji's head, giving him the mental images of Asuka, Misato, Rei, and even his father sprang up.

'Now make haste, we do not have much time.'

The voice commanded dryly, the words held deep meaning for the speaker. Shinji started to float, unable to drive where he was heading, he let himself just go. He did notice that he was heading to where the light was the brightest though. What had just transpired had pushed his brain to the limit, he couldn't make odds or ends of it, so he pushed everything away. He just wanted it to stop. He could feel that he was starting to be consumed, but he didn't care anymore. 'Maybe this is the end. Maybe this is how I die.'

'No. The world has bigger plans for you. Just wait and see.'

'Um, t-thank you. I'm s-s-sorry for what happened. Even if I don't know who you are, the ending of my life will be appreciated.' There was a brief awkward pause before the entity answered him. The tension changed with its speech, it was thick and heavy with confusion. A knife wouldn't have been able to cut the air. Well it wouldn't be able to, since there was no air in space.

'NO WAIT! If you do not remember me, then you do not remember the plan!' Whoever the voice was couldn't stop what was about to transpire next. Nothing had the power to stop the process that so many lives had taken a toll for. As planned Shinji passed through the portal, but what was unaccounted for was that Shinji suffered memory loss from what had occurred recently.

The portal swallowed Shinji whole, pushing him down a long white tube. The tube felt like it was ever flowing, making him to believe he was like a rock in a river, slowly sinking to the bottom of the abyss. It sounded like rushing water and the experience of falling mixed together. Time was deemed irrelevant by the passage, for what could time do there? The pause grew evermore in the prison. Nothing took place for the longest time. The boy decided it was the best time as any to relax.

Chapter One - Neither Night Nor Day

The tube was occupied by other things than the boy. For great periods of time, pictures and visions mosied by. Still images passed by now, some contained him fighting the angels, others had him looking at people he talked to everyday. A picture of his mother came along, giving Shinji a brief glimpse at her.

'Mother?' Yet it too was swept away by the rush, never to be witnessed another time by Shinji in his whole life, not ever. One showed Misato kissing Shinji in a long hallway, most likely a Nerv hallway. After she drew her face away from she spoke sweet nothings into his ear. An elevator door opened for him, and he limbered into the waiting elevator. He saw it, but paid no attention to it. When did he ever get a kiss from Misato? This all seemed strange to him, he felt like a movie was playing for him. The movie only contained what he ever encountered, and he thought that maybe his wishes were in it also. Rei were briefly in some. Shinji blocked those images out, he knew the truth of Rei, and he took no effort in confronting it. His father appeared multiple times, but he looked all but the same in everyone of them. He wore a mask, the perfect poker face, nobody, not even his own son could get a read on the Commander's thoughts. Shinji just wanted the images to stop, but the passage had one more show planned for him yet. Asuka flew by in a scene, she was yelling at him, her words were muted, carrying no weight to him. They had an argument around the table in Misato's house. Now Shinji was yelling at her, she shot a comeback and pushed Shinji! What was happening? What caused this argument? Shinji never acted like this before in his life, he never had so much anger and sadness on his face like the Shinji in the picture had. Image Shinji laid on the ground, hot coffee spilled on him when he fell. Now he got up, whispering something to Asuka, but real Shinji couldn't make it out. The image Shinji advanced on Asuka and stopped in front of her. Ikari's hands shot up and started to wrap his hands around her throat, lifting her off the ground with his strength. Real Shinji couldn't bare it anymore, he closed his eyes and waited for it to pass. More of Asuka went by Shinji after a while, he didn't want to see the images, they only brought pain to Shinji's mind. But there was a pause in the flow, Shinji opened his eyes once more. Shinji froze at what floated in front of him. This was one of the moments where he had gotten close to the Second Child.

It was them kissing. Shinji moved over to Asuka like she asked of him. They were about to kiss when it looked like Asuka was waiting for him to move, he never did, despite her patience. She pinched his nose and commenced the empty, bored battle. The kiss was all over in an instant, except it didn't move away like the others, it stayed right there. The image followed Asuka instead, she quickly entered the bathroom right after the kiss. Shinji thought he would see disgust on her face, like always how the scene moved in his head, but it changed. Pain. Pain and suffering was on Asuka's face, showing Shinji something he couldn't believe in. He had hurt the Second Child somehow, he had hurt Asuka with his actions. She quit making sounds and turned off the water. She put on a mask Shinji had never saw before. She, she was hiding her feelings to Shinji. Why? Why, she could have said something to him, but she didn't. Shinji's mind realized an important fact, in that moment Asuka had reminded Shinji of himself. She never clearly told her feelings to anyone, it reminded him of himself. It put a pit of guilt in the boy's stomach. Shinji had taken so much in, he allowed himself to close off the pain for now, allowing it to fester deeper. A single tear rolled down his cheek.

"I'm sorry Asuka."

Shinji acquired in his gut that the end was soon, he looked at the end of the tube and saw a plain white bed far away. He closed his eyes and waited for anything to happen. The sound was hushed, letting nothing pass by. It continued like this until Shinji discovered a new sensation. Shinji felt warmth on his back, he was about to speak when whatever was behind took the chance before him.

"Hehe, all you do is apologize idiot…." The sentence held a tone of passion, but carried something along the lines of tired frustration; no sooner as the words were spoken, the feeling of warmth left. The boy just waited in silence, and settled his eyes shut for the last time. He did note that the smell of strawberries were surrounding him now.

"Thank you, Asuka." The boy took one final breath, even if he had no reason at all, it still made him feel wholesome. Whatever was left of Shinji's conscious was eaten away, all the important details to him were all saved, they would soon be repressed and stored away. The end of the tunnel was nearby, showing the same bed, faint squeaking of wheels and alarms sounded from the end, signalling it was getting to the point of Shinji.

The boy drifted in white, awaiting for what was coming next.

A single boy was dreaming on a bed, lost in the clouds.

'Ughhh.' The boy awoke from his sleep. 'My head...feels...so foggy...'

'Maybe I slept too long here.'

'Wait, where am I? 'I...don't know how I got here.

'...'

'W-what's that smell?' It...it smells like sanitation….' A flash image of baths and grey hair crossed his mind. Shinji raised his hand to caress the hair on his head.

'...Am...I in a hospital?' A bathhouse even? 'Did I get hurt?' Come on, rememberShinji!' The boy was in deep thinking, wondering what had transpired that he would turn up feeling alone. All he knew was that he laying on some kind of bed. His forehead had formed a scowl from this type of thinking. After all the thinking, he reached an almost certain conclusion. 'My body feels like lead. I had to be in an accident to feel like this, maybe someone has answers. I should get up and look around.' The boy cast open eyes to see an unfamiliar ceiling, it tugged at his mind for some reason, but he gave it no thought. Around him was plain hospital junk, an IV drip, a heart monitor, and the usual TV remote. Windows were off to the left side, no visitors chairs were in the room, and a TV was placed on the wall straight ahead of him. Except the TV looked too flat. It was meant to be a box TV to Shinji, but it looked weird to his eyes. Actually the more Shinji pondered it, the more he thought a lot of the technology in the room was more advanced than he remembered it.

'Maybe I'm just going crazy, it's always been like this…' Besides his head, the boy was fine and healthy, his parched throat had another opinion though.

"I."

"Need."
"Water."

There was a small glass of water on the table near him. Shinji had to lean over to the table to grab it, almost enough to make him fall off the bed. He recovered, and noticed the cup about to fall on the ground and shatter from his failed attempt to grab it. "No, stop!" He still reached for the cup before its imminent demise. The cup stopped a few inches from the ground. The water sloshed over from the sudden stop.

"What is this?" Shinji had to close his eyes for a second. He couldn't believe this! He thought he was just seeing stuff, and it had to be just a prank one of the nurses were playing. He brought his hands up to wipe his eyes. In mid wipe Shinji heard glass breaking below him. He peered over the edge of the bed and broken glass was scattered on the floor. "Yeah, maybe I did just imagine the whole thing."

'Wait back on topic, whyam I even in here? I need to leave.' Shinji hopped out of bed on the safe side. No need to have glass in his feet now. The IV needle swayed with the movement of his arm. Shinji knew this was going to hurt, but he had to get rid of it. He didn't want to drag around a pole on wheels. So with a gasp of air he attacked the needle and ripped it out of his underarm. It begun to bleed red from the injection site and stream down his arm. He managed to stop the bleeding with the white bed sheets. The only clothing on him was a regular hospital gown. He searched, but there was no other collection of clothing in the room. The boy gave up and went towards the door. He opened it and exited the room. The hallway had no patients, even regular nurses and doctors that stationed there were gone.

'Okay, just look for somebody and they'll help me. Right?' The boy called out. "Hello?"

"..." Nobody answered. Shinji waited by his door for somebody to come at him.

When no answer came, Shinji went to investigate on his own. Every Other room must have been left alone. The place was desolate and in need of care. It started to creep Shinji out. The faint hum of cicadas chirped outside the windows, making the floor give the impression of emptiness. He found the nurses station down the hallway to the left. Nobody was in it, and the place seemed even more empty now. A green sign that hung from the ceiling read "A Wing. Division 1". Tape held down a white note on the counter, Shinji inched over to it and read it outloud.

"Young boy stormed into C wing this morning, demanding to see his little sister…. Surgeon delivered the news and boy went on a rampage…. Accidentally hurt 2 nurses. Guards restrained him minutes later and evicted him off the grounds…. All nurses go to D wing for support…."

Shinji grabbed the paper and crumbled it out of anger. So what, did they forget about him, just abandoning him here to defend for himself!? He needed some answers, and he wanted them now. Shinji needed to find material, anything at all, to locate an exit of some kind. He started by rummaging through the hospital drawers behind the nurses station. They only kept personal items in the drawers. Handbags, wallets, keys, but nothing to help Shinji with his problem. He moved over to the computer on the desk for answers. They must have either left in a hurry, or kept no passwords on the computers. Shinji spent a few minutes in the files looking for help. He spotted a file labeled "Fire emergency directions." The fire hospital guide on the desktop said that if Shinji went down a flight of stairs, and turned left at the doors, the main entrance was down the hall. He left for it right away. The boy sprung up from the chair, dashed down the hallway, and found the stairs. Making sure to not break his neck on the steps, he walked slow. Walking out from the door of the stairway and onto the floor, Shinji recognized what to be the exit, except there was a problem. Two burly men in black suits guarded the door. At the sound of his footsteps, the men turned and gazed at Shinji. They noted the patient and the man on the right reached for his pocket. 'Oh crap, he might have a weapon. I need to leave and find another way.' The man brought out a tiny device. Shinji thought it kinda resembled a communication device people in the military used. The man spoke into the strange device.

"Bravo, the target is at the west entrance. Retrieving now." After he finished talking, the men glanced at each other and both nodded. They started walking at Shinji, menacing and stalky. "Come here kid, we need ya'."

Shinji started to back away. He had a fear of what they were going to do with him. He wanted answers, he didn't want to be taken away. "I'm good, thank you very much for the offer." They were advancing to Shinji faster than he expected.

Shinji was about to turn around and run when the one with the walkie-talkie grabbed his wrist forcefully. "You are coming with us." His words were commanding. Shinji had to shout back to make himself clear. "No I'm not!"

"Stop being a brat!" The other man spoke up this time, once again making Shinji feel like he was trapped.

"I. Said. No!" With his free hand Shinji pushed the guard in the chest, trying to force him away. Shinji felt a wave flow in his hand, the guard flew into the air and hit the main desk a couple feet away. As soon as he landed his body went limp from the impact. The guard that was close to Shinji backed away and went for his friend on the desk. "Spike! Are you okay?" The man in black bent over and shook his friend, to much of his effort, the guard was still knocked out. Shinji seized the opportunity and ran for the exit.

"No, come back!" The remaining guard yelled at him, but nothing could stop Shinji. He was free! He had finally made it outside, now he could start looking for answers that his mind couldn't come up with right now. The doors suffled open automatically when he came close, letting him get a peak of the world. He ran past the alarms signaling the escape of a patient, he just needed to be farthest away from this place currently. Outside was different than he thought it to be. It wasn't as if everything changed, no, it had to be the blue sport car blocking his escape. A lone woman with a red jacket and purple hair stepped out and walked in the direction of Shinji.

"Oh my darling son, come to me, I'll take you away from the bad men!" Shinji couldn't believe his eyes or ears, his mother had drove to the hospital to save him. He really didn't think she looked like mother material, but to him, a helping hand was all he wanted. He ran to her and when they met, they embraced in a deep hug. She pressed his head against her breasts, Shinji felt the peaks through the jacket even. He returned the affection by giving her a honest, strong hug. They stayed that way for as long as Shinji could remember. Nasty thoughts started wandering into his head. 'Wow, my mom sure does have big breas...NO WAIT!'

'I can't think of my mother like this, I'm no better than a pervert if I think about my mom like that. She does seem a little young to be a mother, maybe she had me in her teenage years. How child-like.' The woman broke silence between the two, shifting her arms a bit.

"Hey Shinji?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for lying to you, I just needed to calm everyone down….I'm not really your mother…" Before Shinji could pull away from the embrace of the woman, he felt a prick in his arm.

"Ow!" With all his might Shinji struggled away. The woman happily broke the fast bond between the two.

"Wha, what was th-that?" Shinji's words were starting to slur in his mouth. He suddenly felt tired and numb.

"Well that was a hypodermic needle, I put a fast acting sedative into your blood so you calm down. And you fell for the trick because of my womanly charms!" She blew a kiss at Shinji, playing a game with his mind. The woman put the very needle she had injected him with back into a protective case.

Shinji tried to get frustrated, even scowl at the woman, but he couldn't. He barely supported himself as of now. He started to take a step forwards, but he tripped, slinging his body at the woman. Surprised as she was, she still caught the kid before he hit the ground. He adjusted himself to get comfortable in the woman's grasp.

"Oh, since I forgot to tell, my name is Misato Katsuragi. Nice to meet you!" The boy listened to her words right before he passed out in her arms. Misato saw that the kid had scratches all over his body. She sighed and inhaled deeply so she had the strength to pick the kid up. He really wasn't heavy for her at all, but she did study his face to make sure he was okay.

"He looks so much more peaceful when he sleeps. Poor kid, your heart probably hurts a little from the recent battles." She made sure that she had everything with her in case of emergencies. She didn't want more kid trouble today at all.

'Well, better take him to Ritsuko, or she'll get mad at me. Hehe, I wonder if he really considered I was his mom or not. Guess I'll never find out, such a shame for a cute kid too.'

The woman talked to herself while she carried the sleeping boy back into the hospital.

Shinji woke up in the same hospital room, again. It seems like the woman he met outside was a liar, probably working for the people here also. His head felt better than what it felt like the first time he got up. There was still the problem of leaving this place and looking for help, but he knew the place was a fortress. Protected by guards with weapons, and that woman. He would get straight up from the bed and give that woman a piece of his mind. Well he would, If he could get up. His hands were leather bound to the metal frame of the bed. No matter how much effort he put into pulling and thrashing, the cuffs of leather didn't move.

"Hello, Shinji Ikari. Sleep good?" Shinji jerked his head up from his inclined bed to see a blonde woman in a lab coat. She held a clipboard and pen. She studied Shinji for a second then wrote something down on the board.

"Third Child, I asked you a question? Can you hear me? Shinji chose to ignore the woman, he still had no idea why he was here, and now a doctor was asking him questions. And who was this Third Child? Was she referring to him?

"If you can't hear me, then I'll get some paper for you to write on." She moved from her stool and headed for the desk in the room.

"Why am I here?" The doctor turned from the desk and smiled at the boy.

"So, you can hear. Great. If you're coherent enough, let's begin some questions." She headed back to the stool and took a seat.

"I want to know why I'm here." The doctor sighed at his demands. She pondered for a second and began playing with her pen.

"Well, if I tell you, you have to keep it a secret. Not just a personal secret, but a secret held by Nerv. And not keeping in line can be punished by death. Are you willing to take this risk?" Shinji was wrecked with worry. What had he done to end up here? And what was this "nerve" she talked about? Shinji couldn't think for long, the woman across the room was expecting an answer any second. He needed to make up his mind now.

"I, I promise to keep it a secret!"

"Good, now the reason you are in the hospital is for several reasons. First of all, you are part a organization called Nerv. N-E-R-V. Second. We protect humanity, but not without a cost. You are the first child to have taken a part of being a savior. Two days ago, you, Shinji Ikari, defended Tokyo 3 from what we in Nerv classify as Angels. Destroyers of humanity. The battle was extensive on your neurons and muscles, resulting in an immediate Nerv hospital treatment afterwards. You slept for two days, until you escaped from your room earlier today, this morning to be precise, and tried to leave the hospital. Now this is where the questions begin. What is the last thing you remember Shinji?" This was all quickly piled onto Shinji. So he was somehow a hero and he saved the city, but had been injured in the fight. He had so many new questions. What were the angels, how did he defend the city, why did he defend the city? How did he become a part of this "Nerv"? Everything started to swirl around his mind. The doctor's hand grasped his shoulder.

"Shinji, are you okay?" It took him a second to realize that the doctor asked him a question. Everything was spinning around Shinji, the hand on his shoulder was an anchor to him right now. He peered at the doctor after his body was still. She had a name tag labeled "Dr. Akagi" above her left breast.

"Um, yes. Thank you Dr. Akagi."

"No need for formalities, call me Ritsuko."

"Thank you Ritsuko." She pulled the stool closer to the bed so that she had a seat next to Shinji. While the boy looked healthy enough to the naked eye, Ritsuko knew something was wrong with Shinji.

"Shinji, do you remember anything?" Shinji had a downcast look, he put his head down. He kept his eyes away from the doctor.

"I'm sorry, the only thing I remember is a white light."

"Okay, give me a moment." She pulled back from Shinji and jotted down something on her clipboard.

"I have a few more questions if you don't mind?'

"Um, are they required?"

"Depends if you want help or not?" She sent a irritated look at Shinji, as if he was causing a lot of trouble to the doctor.

"Okay, continue."

"So as you awakened from your room this morning, did anything unusual happen?" The vision of glass breaking sent a chill down his back, but he thought that was made up in his mind.

"No." He answered. She resumed writing on the board.

"How did you escape from your room this morning?"

"I left through the front of the room." The doctor stopped writing on the board and eyed Shinji deeply.

"Impossible, the nurses of the wing locked the door. The only way for escape was the windows, or breaking the door down." Please explain." She thought he was lying. Shinji didn't know what to tell the woman, he was telling the truth. He had no idea of what to say.

"When I went over to the door, it was unlocked. Maybe a nurse forgot to lock it?" She quit locking eyes with Shinji and went back to writing.

"Okay, why did you try to escape?"

"I didn't know where I was and I wanted some answers." The words sounded lame out of Shinji's mouth, but they were the only reason he had with him.

"Alright, that is all the questions I had prepared. I diagnose that you're suffering from a mild case of amnesia, it is common when injures to the brain occur." She set the clipboard over on the table near the bed. The doctor sat up from the stool and looked at the boy.

"I'm informed to tell you, that due to your certain situation, housing is to be provided by Nerv."

"Wait, what about my parents?" The question hung in the air, no one dared to speak for sometime. Ritsuko finally answered.

"They are both deceased, father and mother both passed away in Second Impact. But they did leave behind Nerv for us. Bless their souls." A sad face passed from Ritsuko over to Shinji. The mood was sullen because of Shinji's desired answer.

"..."

"Also, on the account of housing, a certain vile vixen has put in the paperwork to try and claim you for adoption this afternoon."

"Huh? Who?"

"Captain Katsuragi." The tone and acknowledgement held poison itself, but at the same time something Shinji couldn't place. Wait...Katsuragi, that name sounded familiar. A bubble of fear started to rise in Shinji. Ritsuko left for the door, she called out as passing through.

"Let me go fill out the rest of your paperwork and I'll get you out of those restraints when I return."

She left and walked down the hallway, but she was already out of reach of Shinji's voice. Shinji knew now. He knew the person who had that name. It was the lady that drugged him before he came into the restraints. He wanted to give the lady his fury about lying that she was his mom. But now, she was going to be his mom. Shinji felt really sick inside. Not an actual sickness, but just disgust from what had gone down. He had no means of escaping though. The doctor decided it was better to leave him there. He slammed the pillow behind him with his head. There was no possible way of getting out of this. Everyone was working past him, his actions and words weren't his alone own anymore. He decided nothing could help him, so he let his head rest on the pillow. Sometimes life had a different course than expected for Shinji.

It was around twilight now, the hospital switched to night shift awhile ago and now lights illuminated the hallways. Shinji prefered that the staff keep all his lights off, the only light came from the crack in the doorway. The sound of footsteps approached the door. Shinji turned his head, he was finally ready to leave. TV soap dramas could only impress Shinji for a little while anyways. He did like his nurse though. She had a friendly atmosphere around her, and smelled faintly of lavender. Shinji knew he was being a bit creepy, but he couldn't help it. It was one of the first times somebody was being really nice to Shinji, even if it was her job. The nurse never arrived, instead a redhead with a skin tight bodysuit walked through the door. Shinji thought she looked around his age. He knew he was staring even before he realized it. Why was she wearing a bodysuit in a hospital? The entire thing held nothing to the imagination. It showed every possible curve there was to be on a girl. He finally pulled his eyes away from her curves and looked her in the eyes. She glared daggers at Shinji. The intensity was only multiplied by how pissed off her entire body seemed. Shinji tried to break the silence, maybe she was a visitor.

"Um, hello?" She stopped staring at Shinji, turned around, and locked the door from the inside.

"What are you doing?" She continued to ignore him, and chose to stay silent. The redhead walked over to his bed and stopped on the right side. Shinji was scared, she had the look of ill intent in her eyes. He had to address her before she did something crazy.

"Do I know yo-"

"You're so pathetic."

"Excuse me?"

"I find you disgusting! You think you can just leave me to die? Little Invincible Shinji is too good to save one goddamn person from death!? I'll never forgive you!" She grabbed his new cup of water from the table the nurse had provided and slammed it at the nearest wall.

"Please, I don't know what you're talking about!"

"If I ever get my hand on you again Ikari, you better look nice. Everyone should look nice when they see god!"

A figure ran inside the door and scanned the area. It was Doctor Akagi.

"Shinji! Are you okay? What happened?" Shinji was stunned. She was gone. The girl standing off to his side was just gone in an instant. No trace of her was there.

"Th-there was this girl. She came into my room, locked the door, and started yelling at me."

"That can't be true. The door was unlocked the whole time. The nurse and me down the hallway didn't see a girl enter either. Are you sure?"

"She threw glass near the wall and yelled, what do you mean you saw nobody!?"

"Shinji calm down, just let me and the nurse handle the situation." Ritsuko walked over to the wall and bent over. She examined a shard of glass in her hands.

"See! I'm not crazy!"

"Hmm…Nurse, leave me to talk to Shinji. Alone."

Yes, ma'am." The nurse at the door left the room. Leaving Ritsuko and Shinji alone.

"Shinji, I was waiting to hold off on telling you this, but it might be too important to leave out. When you defended the city, you used the man made weapon called an Evangelion. Even if it's the pinnacle of human knowledge, it changed you more than you know. The battle was successful for a time being, you started to beat the angel on your own accord, then the Eva stopped moving. The Angel beat you an to an inch of your life. And then something we weren't prepared for happened. The Eva went berserk while you were unconscious from the battle. Of course you won, but…" Shinji was on the edge of his seat. This had all happened to him, but he had no memory of it. God, amnesia made you feel like you didn't belong anywhere. It made you feel lost. If he knew anything, maybe it would help him find what he was missing. He had to know.

"But what Akagi, I need to know! Did somebody die?"

"Sigh"

"The Eva tried to absorb you, but your Synch Ratio was too low for it to fully absorb you. The process actually made you absorb a part of the Eva. We're still not sure what effects this can have on you yet. It's also another reason we're keeping you in Nerv custody."

"Is, is there anything wrong with me?"

"No, but there are slight differences in your genetic makeup." Ritsuko checked her pocket and brought out a small medical mirror. She held it up in front of Shinji's face. His face. Oh god. His eyes! His eyes had the shade of demonic red in them. As if he was being possessed by a demon itself. What had happened in that Evangelion?

A lone woman typed away on a computer in her dimly lit office. She had decided to take her work to Nerv after Misato escorted Shinji out of the hospital. It was the middle of night, everyone had left for home already. She had finally got a chance to smoke a cigarette since the hospital didn't allow smoking. The pitter patter of keys were the only sound bouncing in the room. The sound of a footstep disturbed her out of work. Before she knew it, the sound of a gun's resistance was heard.

"How'd it go?" A man's voice spoke out of the darkness from behind the Doctor's chair. This didn't surprise Ritsuko, she knew the man be visiting her sometime, and if he decided to kill her...well, she decided that she would allow this man to do just that.

"Besides what we gathered after his battle, he seems to have lost his memory." The man smiled in triumph for the silent victory in his head.

"Good, I accounted for that. How has the spread of the news been around Nerv?"

"Everyone is accounted for, I made sure every knew that expelling the secret would result in imprisonment and quite possible death in certain cases. After that, nobody argued." Most of the man's small time plans were coming together. Even if the plan was hatched a little late, it would give him the winning hand in this war. He had gotten most of what he needed from the woman, just a bit more and he could finish up here.

"How is Fuyutsuki handling operations now?"

"He is operating everything like you never left." Ritsuko returned to finishing paper work while answering questions. The man in the shadows returned the gun to his holster, and proceeded to leave.

"Before you go, I want to know what should we expect in the future?"

"I'm currently in a shadow agreeance with Nerv and officers of Seele. As long as someone keeps the lackies in line, my secret will be kept." The man left the conversation hanging. He reached for the doorknob one final time.

"Was this really the best course of action? What about your son? What if he remembers you?" The woman knew this question was out of term with him, but curiosity got the better of her.

"So be it if he knows about me, as long as he's in the dark too, nothing can go wrong."

"I mean, who will be able to guide him. He believes both his parents are passed now..." This conversation was getting on the man's nerves, he came to get information, not curiousity. He regained his composure and steadied on.

"This will be better for Shinji, he won't have to go through the pain of having me around." With that final remark, Gendo Ikari opened the door and left Ritsuko's office. The door shut quietly behind him.

"Sounds like the words of a coward to me. Too afraid to face his own son." After the man had left the doctor made sure that all her paperwork was finished, collected, and sealed before she left. She grabbed her purse, switched off the lights, and let darkness fall over the compound. A burning cigarette about to burn out casted a glow near paperwork on the desk. The top of the stack read "Nerv Death Count-3rd Angel: Sakura Suzuhara" The beginning of Schrodinger's thought experiment was happening in real time.

Next time on Rebirthed Final; Shinji meets an old friend and remembers his purpose in life. This Rei Ayanami holds a dark past full of secrets. A main character knows what it is to die, and so much more. As promised, more fanservice!

Well hello, Author here. I just like to say thank you so muchhhhhh. This is again my first actual fanfiction, so take it with a grain of salt. It took me about a week and a half to write all of this, mostly cause I'm a lazy bastard. I'm going to put the setting on T for now, but will probably update it later to an M. Plot demands, am I right? So anyways, leave any type of review you can. I love attention btw.