I own no one, they own themselves! This is slash if you don't like please don't read. Trigger warnings (eating disorder) in this story please don't read if you feel it will effect you negatively. Please remember to review!
Prologue
It's not you, it's me the classic break up line that I will never forget. We had been together since the moment we met at the domain, Colt and Punk, Punk and Colt inseparable until I was blindsided by my best friend. He gave me reasons, he is holding me back, we are never together, and we are moving in different directions, he loves me but we can't be together at the moment maybe in the future when I've found a balance. I should have seen it coming, should have known, yet I trusted him more than anyone I know, believed together we could conquer anything, time, distance, my tendency to focus all my energy and lose track of other important factors in my life, my insecurities, my jealousy, hell my fucking issues we could get past all of it together. Instead he walked away, left me with no way to pick up the fucking pieces because honestly he is my world.
I sit on my couch watching him separating our life's, items going into boxes and I think with each piece my heart fractures a little more. "What do you want from me?" I hear him sigh as he places another photo frame into the cardboard.
"Nothing Punk, I want us to be friends. I want us to try to get back to what we were before we started dating." I want him to turn to look at me, to face me instead I talk to the back of his head.
"We were never friends Colt, we started dating the moment we met. Hell you kissed me on day two. So how do we go back to something that never fucking existed? Why the hell are you doing this?" He finally turns and I hate the look on his face, almost as if he is pitying me, like he is explaining to a child that the Easter bunny isn't real.
"We could be amazing friends Punk, in fact we will be. I have to do this Punk, I'm too wrapped up in you, I've lost a piece of myself I need to find. I can't keep loving you when you won't love yourself. You'll be fine, you'll be stronger without me." I scoff at him and walk into the kitchen. I force myself not to let the tears fall instead I grab my headphones determined not to be here when he actually leaves. If I don't see him go maybe I can convince myself he is just at another show and we aren't apart. I walk out of the house and start running, hoping he will change his mind and be there when I get back.
I stay out late, long past my normal return time. I push my body to the edge of collapsing and I know he is gone before I even return to the apartment. He didn't call worried that I was out so long, telling me to come home. The silence in the apartment greats me, I take a deep breath and try to hold the pain at bay. I still don't understand any of this, I need to call someone ask them if they saw this coming because I sure as hell didn't. I see the pile of mail on the table I had thrown there earlier, I grab it scanning through anything to keep my mind off the reality of the moment. I sigh and toss one of the letters towards the trash. Since joining the WWE I've had some interesting fan letters but this one person is very intent on creeping me the hell out. Letters come every week, some threatening, some sexual in nature, some demanding. I've stopped reading them at this point throwing them out as soon as I recognize the envelope.
When the mail is sorted and I cannot avoid the silence any longer I head to the bedroom, seeing the empty dresser, the hangers, the bed side table void of his items it hits me hard. I sink onto the bed clutching his pillow to my chest. It still smells like him and I breathe him in, allowing the tears to finally fall.
My sisters come by, Ace, Hero, Joe all show up to offer their support to try to pry me out of my apartment. I ignore every one of them, lying in bed hoping he comes back. I take as much time as I can off, until I have no choice but to leave the apartment and head to some hotel in a faraway city. Days blur together, nothing makes sense in my head, Colt tries sending me a few friendly texts until I block him from my phone. He's hurt me, betrayed me, and if he knows me at all then he knows I won't forgive him, it's not in my DNA. Weeks turn to months and I know I am just barely putting out any effort, sleeping more than I ever have, I lose weight, weight I probably couldn't afford to lose. I think I may be slipping back into an old and dangerous pattern. The ring the only place I force myself to act alive. Backstage there are even whispers that I'm addicted to drugs, it would explain the rapid mood swings, the depression, the fact that I look like hell. I almost wish it was that simple.
Few people in the WWE know what is going on, Kofi, Paul, and Amy all know how lost I really am and why. Its four months after the break up that Ace calls me, I reluctantly answer the phone not wanting another lecture or worse a shoulder to cry on. "Hey Ace."
"Punk just the man I wanted to talk to!"
"Well no shit, you called me Ace. What's going on?" I wonder briefly if he is drunk he seems overly happy.
"I am having a party this weekend on Saturday and since I already know you are going to be home I want you there. All my friends are going to be there, I have an announcement." I take a deep breath not really sure I am up for a party of any type.
"Who exactly is going to be there?"
"Everyone, the whole crew." I cringe and shake my head having no plans to attend.
"Sorry Ace I'm busy I have an appearance. Plus everyone includes Colt right?" I hear his huff and wait for him to try to convince me.
"You are not busy I have checked with everyone who plans your shit, yes Colt is going to be here and so are you. I don't know what the hell is going on but you are both miserable without each other. So fix it, I don't know how but fix it. Bring a friend or hell a date then at least one of you is moving on. Honestly I have no clue what to do with the two of you! He left so why is he almost worse then you are?" I am slightly intrigued by all of this, Colt's miserable maybe I should go and see it with my own eyes.
"Fine I'll be there, what's this announcement about anyways?"
"Not telling, I'll see you Saturday." Hanging up the phone I sigh and rub at my neck wondering what the hell I agreed too and also who I should take I am not showing up without a date. I try to talk Kofi into going with me, he declines and really I feel like I am out of options. I think long and hard about this, trying to figure out who might say yes, and who the hell would annoy Colt the most. I sit back stage at the house show examining the choices around me. Triple H is out, I would never go there for so many reasons. Undertaker could work but Colt loves him so no. Orton could be an option after all Colt thinks he is a douche but so do I, and spending a whole night with the man makes my skin crawl. I could call Joe he'd probably set me up with someone, but most likely then I would have to spend the night warding of groping hands. I need a gentlemen, a guy not into one night stands, a guy who is a boy scout won't even go in for the end of date kiss. My eyes settle on the bright red of his shirt and I can't help but think how perfect he is for the part. "Fruity pebbles" I call out and watch as John turns towards me, he smiles as I wave him over.
"Punk how are you doing?" He seems concerned and I want to push that aside.
"I've been better, hell I'm not sure I've been much worse which is why I need a favor from you." He pulls his hat from his head stepping closer.
"What's going on Punk, do you need help? A favor sure what is it?" I take a deep breath again someone buying into the potential drug story.
"I'm going through a break up, no drugs, no drinking still very much straight edge. Now what I need is for you to go out with me on Saturday, to a friend's party in Chicago, as my date." No reason to sugar coat it. I see him give me an odd look and then he is pulling out his phone, I wonder what the hell he is doing but he holds up a finger.
"Okay so Saturday, hmm I can move some stuff around so sure why not. Let me just mark it down in my calendar. Chicago, I'll need to book a flight, hotel room, should I rent a car? What time should I pick you up? There we go all set." I think I am blinking at him, that may be the most rambling I've ever heard from the man and I think it may be because I threw him for a loop.
"I'm flying out Friday I could call and get you a seat on my flight. You could stay in my guest room if you wanted, or there is a hotel up the street from my place. I don't think we need a car we can take the train. Six, six would be good." There I think I answered all of his questions.
"Okay so you'll book the flight, I'll stay at your place and we will leave at six. Sure alright, anything else?" I shake my head, unsure what is even happening at this point. "Great text me the flight details, got to go rearrange some stuff. See ya later Punk." I slightly wonder what I've done, what the hell I've gotten myself into. I make his flight arrangement and consider cancelling but I know he is perfect. Cena has always annoyed Colt, he finds him fake, too nice, too generous, and much too like Colt himself. Colt hates him and just maybe I can get his attention if I show up with him. I text John the information and then I wait, wait for Saturday, wait to see Colt again, wait for my heart to start mending.
Thank you for reading, please, please, please review!