Dear Tyler,
Can you hear me? Mom says writing to you may make it hurt a bit less, but I don't know. I remember you wrote to Michael often, and I hope writing to you brings the same comfort to me as it did you. These past few months have been horrible, Tyler. You were the closest thing in my life, and you died. It's different than loosing Michael, I was so young. And I know I'm only 11, but we have so many memories together.
For some reason, I knew the moment I stepped out of the classroom on that day that things weren't right. You never failed to pick me up from school. I remember my throat closing up, the wind chilling my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. My hair. You never knew how much comfort you brought me the night of the incident, but cuddling up next to you was just what I needed. Did I even say "I love you" to you, the last time I saw you? I know you know though, just like I know. We were the only ones who truly understood eachother. The only ones who battled through our family dysfunction together.
Ally is doing alright. She's sad and really misses you, but she understands loss so much better than I do. I think she's trying to be strong for us. She visits us daily. You really picked a good one, Tyler... I think she's becoming part of the family. Aidyn got a tatoo with your name on it. He wouldn't let me get one though, not till I'm 15. He said he'd come with me when I get it done, but I'm not sure if I'll tell Mom. Aidyn gets me from school sometimes, and takes me to the park. He's good to talk to. He misses you. We talk and laugh, sharing funny stories about you. Don't worry Tyler, he'll take good care of me but he'll never, ever, replace you.
It's funny how tragedy brings some people together, but I'd give it all back to see you one more time. Dad is starting to become a real Dad again. I go over to his place sometimes during the week. We don't talk much, but it's a comfortable silence. He's learning to appreciate my artwork. Mom is a wreck, Tyler. Can you imagine loosing two sons? She cries and cries, and goes into your bedroom a lot. I'm too afraid to go into your bedroom, but I still have an old sweater you gave me, and put it on sometimes. It smells like you.
I've been trying to be strong, Tyler, but it's so hard. I love and miss you so much. Some days all I can do is cry. I miss your laugh, your hugs, the way you would squeeze my hand and all my troubles would go away. Where are you? Are you with Michael? If so, tell him we love him and miss him. I hope you're together.
Summer is dragging on, I'm doing the Art program but all I can draw is pictures of you. It makes me feel closer to you. I'm going to end this for today, but I think i'll keep writing. I hope you can read this, somehow, some way. I love you so much, Ty.
Love, Your Maestro.