Unrequited 2



I hadn't planned on making this a sequel, but in a way it is. The feeling Fujin expressed in part 1 are what she feels here, but not stated. This fic is different, a little more fast-paced than I'd originally intended it to be. You'll see what I mean when you read it (if you've read anything else by me), but as always I hope you enjoy. ;-)


It was the third night in a row that he was drunk again.

I slapped money on the bar from Seifer's own wallet as Raijin hauled the passed out blond man off of the stool. Replacing the wallet, I grabbed Seifer's other arm and we half-dragged him out of the bar.

The cold night air revived the blond from his stupor and he began to struggle. "Seifer," Raijin hissed, "calm down. It's us!"

When that didn't work, I tried. "QUIET, YOU SAFE."

Seifer started at the loudness of my voice, but a smile soon crossed his features. "Heya Fujin," he murmured, quickly calming down.

I just grunted and readjusted my grip on his shoulder, turning my gaze to Raijin. He seemed to understand what it meant and replied, "He just got an apartment on the west side, so he's not using the hotel anymore."

Frustrated, I blew a strand of hair off my forehead. "TOO FAR," I stated, grunting when I took on extra weight as Seifer tripped.

"Yeah, I don't know why he's still using this bar," Raijin grumbled. "The management's not friendly and the girls just plain suck!"

If I'd had the chance I would have kicked Raijin repeatedly right then, but a large body was between us. "TRANSPORT?"

"Nope, too late for any taxis right now. We either take him all the way across Balamb or put him up in a hotel for the night."

Great, I thought, another 100 gil he's going to be owing me. There was no way we could take him across Balamb tonight. It would take at least an hour to jog there, and dragging a nearly unconscious Seifer was out of the question.

The hotel in question was just across the street, and the three of us staggered through the doorway and to the front desk. "ONE," I told the lady sitting there, leaning against the counter to relieve some of Seifer's weight.

The receptionist jumped a bit at my voice but took down a key from the cabinet beside her. "That will be 100 gil please."

I fished around in Seifer's wallet and pulled out 15 gil, the last bit of cash the man had, and used my own money to pay for the rest. The girl handed me the key and we started up the stairs. Seifer seemed to be coming around by then and was able to mostly walk the rest of the way to the door.

The room was smaller than our usual fare, but it didn't matter as all Seifer would be doing was sleeping. As far as I knew he had never made the journey to Balamb Garden to ask for reinstatement and Cid had never approached him. The headmaster had to know Seifer was still in the area, or could at least have asked either Raijin or I, but none of us had been approached and I wasn't going to step out on a limb if I wasn't sure either wanted the other's company. It was probably just as well anyway; I was still getting flack from some for being friends with the former Sorceress' Knight previously.

They settled Seifer onto the only bed, laying his coat on a nearby chair. I was straightening when Seifer reached out and grabbed my arm. "Don't leave," he murmured, not opening his eyes. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

I shot a startled glance at Raijin, who shrugged. "I don't know who he was talking to, but I gotta scoot." Lowering his voice, he whispered, "My SeeD test's tomorrow, and I just can't stay up all night."

"GO," I told Raijin, not meeting his eyes. Leave our friend when he needs us most.

I knew that Raijin was waffling beside me, torn between friendship and duty. Duty won out, however, when he murmured his goodbye and left the room.

I sighed and sat down on the bed beside Seifer, unsure what to say. I'd never heard him ask for us to stay before, and wasn't sure what if anything he wanted to do.

The silence stretched out, then Seifer spoke up. "I went to Balamb Garden today to see Cid."

I sat straighter, surprised by the statement. I'd heard nothing about him visiting, nor had he told either of us previously of that intention. He had gone to see neither the Headmaster or any of his acquaintances since his return, and nobody had asked for him either. To most, it was like he had ceased to exist; nobody spoke of him, whether it be ill or wondering where he was. At least, nobody of any real importance; I'd fought off my share of others who thought I was fair game without Seifer's protection. They quickly found out just why the tough blond had accepted my companionship: I was his equal, and it had only taken a few busted faces for them to figure that out.

"I managed to get past most of the students, but before I could see the headmaster Xu caught up with me." He took a ragged breath, his features scrunching as if in pain. "She made it … blatantly clear that I was not wanted, that I should leave now before she called security. Then Rinoa came out of the office and …" He ran a hand over his face. "I'm so tired of this, all of this," he ground out. "Why do I stick around here?"

The statement cut to my heart, but I was careful not to let it show. Very few times had Seifer ever opened up to me, even though we were his friends. He was by very nature secretive and I found it a great honor he chose to confide in me, even though it was most likely the drink making him so free with words.

"They all hate me, and with good reason. Rinoa told me she never wanted to see me again, and she'd never forgive me." Without warning, his face crumpled. "I'm tired of not having anyone anymore, of being lonely, forever marked."

The statement broke my heart. Without realizing it I leaned down and brushed a strand of hair out of his face, letting him know I was there. I wished I could just say everything that was on my heart, but was afraid it would break the mood.

His eyes flickered to my face, then away again. "Maybe it would be better if ... if I wasn't here anymore. I doubt anyone would miss me if I just jumped off a cliff or…"

"NO!" Angry, and scared beyond words at what he was contemplating, I grabbed Seifer by the collar and hauled him upright until my face was inches from his. "IDIOT! YES MISS, DON'T SAY THAT." Swallowing hard and forcing myself to calm down, I said, "You do have friends who would care. And do care."

Surprised eyes, inches from my own, misted. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

I stared into the eyes of the man I loved, and my heart cracked cracked wide open. Not having any more words, without any clue as to what to do next, I comforted him as best I could and pulled him in for a kiss. All too quickly it turned passionate, but I didn't care. I'd loved him far too long to ever let him get away from me; I felt sure that I myself would die if he did.

I hadn't meant anything like this to happen, but I didn't protest when he rolled me over onto the bed, his hands moving over my body. My hands were by no means calm as I worked the shirt out of his pants and over his head, as eager as he was to feel skin on skin. His hand landed over my breast and all conscious thought ceased.

There was nothing tender in what we did, this first time. There would be time for that later, but he sought comfort and I sought only to give it however I could. That he'd chosen this way didn't matter to me, nor did the fact that I had never done this before. It hurt when he entered me, but I wrapped my legs around his waist and gave into the sensations, both good and the bad. He rolled over onto his back giving me the top, and I rode him as well as I could. When he came, he rolled me back onto my back, pressing his forehead against mine. "Rinoa," he whispered, kissing my nose and cheeks and chin.

At the utterance I went limp, devastated. A tear trickled down my cheek and was lost in the linens of the bed, but I refused to let him see it. Wiping it away, and it's accompanied friends, I lifted my head back up to take his lips with mine, and we started over.

**

We awoke two more times that night, once by Seifer's discretion, once by mine. Neither time did Seifer call out anyone's name, but I knew that he was not thinking of me. I didn't care - for that one night, he was mine.

I dressed and left early that morning before the sun had breached the mountaintops, and headed back to Garden. Before I left, however, I stared down at Seifer, my eyes taking in the rumpled sheets which barely covered enough of the naked body that could be considered modest. There was a serenity on his face that was never there in daylight, and it was then that my heart broke because I knew I would probably never see it again. Stifling a sob I exited the room, shutting the door behind me.

***

Seifer awoke to the sun streaming through the window straight into his eyes. He reached out to grab someone, but there was nobody in the bed with him. Fully awake now, he sat up and looked around the room, bits and pieces of the previous night coming to him. "Fujin...?"




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