We rock back and forth on the love seat rocking chair. The chestnut wood that creates a masterpiece of grass sprinkled with flowers and then a rabbit and a mockingjay facing each other in the middle. We got it as a wedding present from District 11. Don't ask how they managed to make such a fine art when they aren't known for it but I was truly amazed when we were gifted with the thing that I went silent. Of course with Peeta by my side that didn't really matter; he thanked them to no end and my sign of silent was proof enough that we were shocked in a good way. The rabbit was meant to signify Peeta and the mockingjay me. I thought the animals were right. Peeta reminds me of a rabbit; the way that he is truly good and doesn't kill intentionally. It was obvious I was the mockingjay. It is one of the names that I represent. Rue's mother was the one that designed the picture. She told me that they wanted the mockingjay to come out of fire but just didn't have enough time. I latched onto her, hugging her tightly that I'm pretty sure she lost oxygen for a minute. I was too choked up for words that I had to convey all of my thanks into that one hug. She understood what I was telling her though in that hug.
"We did it for Rue and Thresh. Be brave because people still believe in you. Remember you are now the woman on fire." She whispered before scaling down the steps to her children. I let a lone tear drop from my face before burying my face into Peeta's chest.
The games are over now. Buried further down that District 13 every was so no one can retrieve them. The tributes that are still alive join up once a year in the capital and we all spend the night remembering who we lost in the games and fighting for them to stop. It makes you feel better. No year lessons the pain but you learn to just manage it easier. There are few of us left to talk but we all know what we want to say, and the words from people who have been through more pain than most, always move people until there are very few dry tears.
The nightmares still haunt me at night. When deaths had filled you life for so long. People who you willed not to get close to but did died. Too much for me to bear. My only saving grace is Peeta and my little boy and girl. The little girl we called Rowan, but shortened it to Ro. It still belonged to the plant family and it reminded us of Rue. The little girl who was too young to be a victim of the games. The little girl who reminded me of my sister Primrose. They both died and I survived. I went into the games trying to protect Prim and she dies 2years later. I would laugh at the irony if it wasn't so painful to think of my little sister who never got a chance of a happy life. The free life that she deserved more than anyone else. And Rue. She died for the Games. She didn't even die for war; she died because it was some piece of entertainment. Those two deaths killed me more than anyone else. The little boy we names Finn. Short for Finnick and the fact that we used to make jokes that we thought Finnick had fins the way he moved through the water. Neither child knows who they are names after. Neither of them knows how special their parents were in the destruction of the Capital and the districts. Our excuse at the moment is that they are too young; her 9 while he is still 6. I know that's not why Peeta and I won't tell them. We both feel responsible for the deaths and never want to tell them how so many people gave up their lives for our survival. No matter what anyone tells us we will always believe we caused the majority of the deaths and destruction.
We aren't as popular as the other tributes of the games. Thankfully. Seeing as I shot Coin and Peeta was around Snow a lot during the war. Neither of us is normal and we both know we never will be. Death changes people Katniss. My dad once told me. Our next door neighbour lost his dad in a coal mining accident and the boy tried to steal Prims' piece of bread. I punched his noise, at the age of 7 I was strong for what I believed in. I never understood at the young age. Death was a regular thing when you lived in a District that often had starving people dead on the streets. It was only when my dad faced the same misfortune that I truly understood the pain the boy went through. Peeta and I are known as the two remaining crazies out of the alive tributes. We aren't as crazy as everyone thinks but we play it up for the cameras so they leave us alone mostly. We are far from normal, but not near crazy either. District 12 has always, and will always be our home; minus the few months we spent in the arenas and living in District 13, or in Peetas' case the Capital. I go hunting once a month in the forest with Gale. He takes a trip down here with his own wife and three kids. While the kids play and Peeta and Jasmine discuss cooking ideas the two of us keep our relationship simple, just how it started. Neither of us depends on the other; we both have different partners to do that. The only thing that I still feel a pang at is when I remember that he told Peeta I will be with the one I think I can't live without. I can't live without either of them, but they both have different places in my heart. Peeta is who I know I can love with my whole heart. He brings out the good in me and makes me want to fight for what I believe in. I know if I had to choose between the three of us to save I would pick Peeta. I would never have had kids if they weren't Peeta's. I know that Gale and I would never have been able to have children. We both are just too similar that the children would be doomed from the start. Gale makes me feel adventurous. That when we are together we can do anything. We both know we can't but we still feel it. I trust both men with my life but I know that Peeta is the man meant for me. He always was. I haven't shown Gale the pool in which my father showed me when he was alive. I showed Peeta though. It wasn't a decision that I choose to make but I made it. We were swimming in the lake when I suddenly stopped and stared at Peeta.
"What?" He asked. He swam closer to me to make sure that I was alright.
"Marry me?" I asked spontaneously. It made me realise that I would show Peeta anything and everything. I trusted him more than I trusted anyone else on this planet and I knew that he would be it forever.
"What?" He stuttered out.
"Marry me." I state more clearly, a smile fell on my features. "Marry me Peeta. I want to be with you forever." A grin plastered onto his face and he swam over to me before spinning us around in circles kissing all over my face.
"Katniss Everdeen it would make me the happiest living thing on this planet to be your husband." He told me before kissing me softly on the lips. We spent the rest of the day swimming and lounging around the water. He admitted to me that he was trying to gain the courage to ask for the last 7months but never found the courage to actually ask. I laughed before kissing him on the lips. Peeta was good. He was what the world needed and I managed to make him my husband. I never take him for granted because I know what it feels like to lose him.
Not many people visit us. Gale and his family, mum but only occasionally and Haymitch. Although we are all that Haymitch has left. We are mainly a three. Haymitch lives just next door so he is often round our house playing with the children. He is uncle Haymitch to them, something that brought him to tears the first time he heard Rowan say it. It doesn't bother us that no one comes, the solitude is what is so relaxing and peaceful. There is no more worry about our kids going into the games, or that they are going to starve to death, or that they will somehow be picked on because they are lower than anyone. Peeta and I made sure that everything was safe before we brought them into the world. I could never thank Peeta enough for keeping me alive and giving me our two children. He could say the same. We only fight about who owes more to the other. We learnt to stay away from that topic; after all, we both love each other more than anything and that is all that matters.
I always remember what Rue's mum said. I know what she meant when she said what she said. I was no longer the girl on fire, or the mockingjay. I was the woman on fire and next to me on our rocking chair was the man who has the power to blow out my fire.
"I love you." I tell him resting my head on his shoulder.
"I love you too, Katniss." Peeta whispers wrapping his arm around my waist pulling me close to him. No safer place am I than in his arms. All I know though is that Peeta doesn't burn from fire and that is a good thing when he has me and two baby fires.