Mirthful Mornings
(A.N.: This will be a compilation of different Homestuck stories written by me and will be counted as complete, but in truth it'll never be finished. Just marked as complete. Also, don't freak out because there will be OCs in here, but they will not be paired up with anyone (except Alex-sis. She has a lover. Named Zane.). Also, I have two OCs that are both named Alex. They are twins and their back-story is too confusing. Right. I also warn you, this is pure crack and really lame and AU(-ish)-stuck. I also disclaim that I own anything. My OCs are that. Mine. Nothing else. I own only them and the building they all reside in. Anything I mention in the slightest is not mine. So, enjoy this pure piece of crack. Have fun!)
Right... Additional note: How I have this set up is that efurrybody lives in this big mansion-type place and has like a gazillion rooms. Just thought you would like to know.
Starting Scene: You will be nobody and watch the events unfold. (Note it is around 5.30 AM or so...)
"Yawn~!" Alex yawned as she stretched slightly while walking down the hall towards the Kitchen.
"Yo, bro. Morning." Alex paused in her step and turned to see Karkat walking up behind her. She readjusted her shit to cover a bit more of her boxers.
"Morning, Karks." Alex smiled as Karkat slowly recognizes her beautiful singing Alto voice. Karkat blinked after a minute or two of silence.
"Fucking shit. You wear boxers?" Karkat rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Yeah. Just noticed?" Alex chuckled at Karkat's exasperated expression.
"And do they say, "Let's not oppress women.", Alex?" Alex's smile grew as horror flitted across Karkat's face as he realized he was staring at her boxers. He quickly moved his gaze to the ceiling.
"It's okay to stare. In fact I can let you borrow them... Well, more like trade." Karkat's gaze snapped back to Alex, his eyes asking if she was serious. "Because I was doing everyone's laundry with Gamzee and saw these really cool pair of boxers. I asked him if he knew who's they were and he said they were yours." Alex grinned as Karkat sighed. He knew he shouldn't have let Gamzee rummage through his stuff.
"SuP, mOtHeRfUcKeRs." Alex felt a weight drop on her shoulders as lanky arms drape lazily around her neck.
"Morning, Gamz~!" Alex chirped happily. Gamzee's painted face came into Alex's peripheral vision.
"NiCe ShOrTs, AlEx-SiS." Gamzee grinned lazily knowing what happened moments earlier.
"See! Someone likes-" Alex was cut off by a hand on her mouth.
"Not another word, sister. Please, just stop embarrassing yourself," Her brother, Alex, scolded whilst frowning. He pulled Gamzee off the short female, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. "No, no. This won't do."
"Nothing ever does with you Alex. Especially when it comes to your sister. You don't even let me sleep in the same area as her. And I'm her MATESPRITE!" Zane rolled his eyes, prying Alex out of the taller boys grasp.
"Whale... This is fun, but I'm a bit peckish... Tweet." Everyone turned to see Alex speeding down the halls and into the Kitchen.
"Whale... She sure is a slippery one..." Alex shook his head.
"Please no fish puns this early in the morning." Karkat sighed and walked in the direction of the Kitchen.
Starting Scene: Once again, you will be nobody and behold the unfolding events. (Note: It is 'round 'bout 6.00 AM or so...)
Cronus groaned quietly as not to cause another bout of lecturing from the red turtle-neck wearing troll. Kankri frowned and stared in disdain at the seadweller, having heard the quiet groan.
"Cr9nus. It seems t9 6e quite rude t9 gr9an after a pers9n is done talking. I mean h9w w9uld y9u feel if I gr9aned aft-" Kankri was stopped mid-word by two fingers touching his lips. The fingers belonging to none other than Alex, who had just walked in rubbing her eyes sleepily.
"Shhhh..." Alex cooed softly, moving her fingers from his mouth to gently pap his head. "Shhhh... Kankri, sweetie, it's too early in the morning to have such lectures. Please try and save it for after, ya know, eight AM." Her hand gently slid off Kankri's head as she moved towards the teapot to pour herself some Cameowmile tea or some Earl Grey tea, whichever was brewed first.
"Howv...?" Cronus sat up, staring in wonder. "Howv do you do that?" Teacup in hand, Alex walked towards Cronus and gently papped him on his head, letting out a soft shoosh before heading out the door and towards the Observatory. The Ampora stared after in wonder before turning back to the slightly irritated Vantas.
"As I was saying..." Cronus just groaned softly before letting his head fall to the table.
Starting Scene: Right... Switching gears for a moment and heading towards the Common Room. Again you are nobody and it is around 6.30 AM or so.
Alex walked through the Common Room, only catching a glimpse at the occupants lounging in the morning rays of sunlight.
Dave, Dirk, John, and Jake all caught a brief look at the girl retreating upstairs.
"Ten boonbucks says she's going to find Rose and Kanaya making out in the Observatory." John looked at his four companions lazily. No one really cared about the silly things that came out of his mouth as Alex came rushing down the stairs, bright red. Stopping to look at the group, she saw the knowing looks.
"Did you know they were up there?" Alex pointed to the stairs and they all nodded. "Right... Thanks..." She nodded and gripped her teacup, leaving the boys to their lounging. After the door swung shut completely, John and Jake let out a brief chuckle.
"Gog. That wasn't even supposed to be funny." They all cracked a slight smile, shaking their heads.
Starting Scene: Whale... Same ol', same ol'. Except it's still 6.30 AM or so, but up in the Observatory.
Kanaya stretched her arm a bit more trying to get the pages needed from the shelf down. She had just gently tapped them with her finger, when every page on the shelf came tumbling down. She turned to Rose, frowning slightly.
"And, prey tell, why do we need these Astrological charts?" Kanaya picked up the pages needed, handing them to Rose when the blonde walked over to her. Rose smiled as she watched as Kanaya, with now free hands, picked up the remaining pages on the ground to be put up later.
"Because." Kanaya let out an exasperated sigh as Rose giggled. All motion seemed to stop as they heard the door open, rather loudly. The girls turned their gaze to the door seeing Alex grin sheepishly.
"Uh... Whoops... Sorry..." She blushed, embarrassed, and closed the door, promptly rushing downstairs.
"Well. That was... Different..." Rose couldn't help but giggle a little and Kanaya smiled a bit.
Starting Scene: Going back to 6.00 AM but in the Library.
Signless was sitting in the Library brushing up on anything and everything he can. He had heard a ruckus outside the Library around 5.30 or so. He'd been in here all night. He had dismissed the ruckus because it was normal. Same thing every morning, just a different victim.
"It's been 43 days since she started this game of hers. Honestly. What goes through that child's mind?" Signless sighed. Shaking his head, he turned back to the book in hand (literally) and put it back on the shelf he was facing.
"Careful. You were just as strange!" A voice cackled from the upper deck. He rolled his eyes. Of course she would say that. He looked at the books on the shelf, trying to decide which one to read next, oblivious of the figure a meter behind him.
"Ah! That seems like a good one." He plucked the book off the shelf and turned, only to get arms filled of fluffy hair and lithe body.
"Found you!" A catty voice exclaimed. Signless was stunned for a moment or two before chuckling.
"Well, hello to you, Disciple." He kissed the top of her head. "Are you here to read with me?" He felt Disciple's head nod in his chest. "Alright. Let's move to the couch, then." And that is how Signless and Disciple are found at 7.30 AM, curled up and reading together, talking quietly.
Starting Scene: Back to the Kitchen at 6.30 AM or so.
"... And s9 it was quite a rare sight t9 see, that day. It was utterly magnificent t9 see. May6e next time we sh9uld g9 t9gether t9 see it, d9n't y9u think Cr9nus?" Kankri looked to Cronus, who still had his head down.
"Yeah Kankri. VWhatever you say." Cronus lifted his head up and rubbed his face gently. The door opened and in came Alex(bro), Zane, Karkat, and Gamzee. The older Vantas and Ampora looked towards the group.
"... And it seems that she needs to really do things differently in the mornings. I mean, she runs around the house in boxers and Zane's button-up shirts," Alex said to Karkat.
"I completely agree. I do think it's cute that she runs around in her matesprite's shirts, but put on some pants. It's the least you can do anyone." Karkat and Alex walked towards the coffee pot to get some of the caffeinated beverage.
"... You agree that Alex shouldn't have to change the way she walks around in the mornings, right Gamzee?" Zane frowned, turning to Gamzee.
"BrO, hAvInG sOmEoNe ChAnGe ThE wAy ThEy DrEsS tO fIt YoU, aIn'T aLl Up AnD mIrAcUlOuS." Gamzee led Zane to the teapot so they could get some, well, tea.
"Ahem, g99d m9rning b9ys." Kankri greeted.
"Morning Kankri." They all replied, in fear of getting lectured.
"Ah. Morning guys." Cronus said a little to happily, seeing as they were in the same boat as him. Fear of being lectured.
"Morning Cronus." They all frowned at him. Kankri turned to Karkat.
"Karkat, I th9ught I taught y9u better than that. Talking ab9ut how s9me9ne sh9uld change h9w they dress. In fact, Alex was perfectly fine in the way she dressed. It suited her pers9nality quite well. And y9u Alex, sh9uldn't even try t9 d9 anything ab9ut h9w she dresses. Y9u may be her br9ther but all y9u sh9uld d9 is tell her if it l99ks nice 9r n9t. N9t c9mplain ab9ut h9w she needs t9 change her wardr96e." Kankri stared at the two, waiting for an answer. "Well, what d9 y9u have t9 say f9r y9urselves?"
"Ummm..." Karkat looked away, finding nothing to say. Alex looked guilty at how he was acting and how he had acted earlier.
"That's what I th9ught. Tsk." Kankri got up to get some more tea. As he passed Zane, he ruffled his and Gamzee's hair a bit. "I'm glad that she has a caring matesprite and friend." He smiled a bit. Zane and Gamzee smiled as well, whilst everyone else gawked at the elder Vantas in shock.
Starting Scene: In the Garden, by the Pond at 7.00 AM or so.
"Guys! Come on! Please stop! You're scaring t) (e fis) ( in t) (e pond!" Feferi urged Latula and Mituna to stop. Stop what? Stop grinding around the edge of the pond with their skateboards. "T) (is isn't glubing funny!"
"Dud3! R3l4x, g1rl13! Th3y'r3 f1n3! S'4ll cool!" Latula cackled.
"Y34h. W3 41n'7 h4rm1ng 7h3m." Mituna smiled at Feferi.
"No it isn't! And don't take t) (at tuna voice wit) ( me! You are scaring t) (em! T) (is-t) (is-t) (is isn't rad!" All movement stopped as the older Pyrope and Captor jumped from the ponds edge.
"4ll r1ght. 1 gu3ss 1t 41n't r4d 4ft3r 4ll. W3'll go som3 wh3r3 3ls3." Latula and Mituna weaved through the Garden, leaving. Feferi gave a sigh of relief, unaware of the figure about to pounce on her prey.
Starting Scene: Somewhere else in the Garden, away from the Pond at the same moment.
Kurloz ignored Feferi's urging to get the skaters off the ponds edge. It wasn't as if could say anything to stop them, his mouth being all up and sewn. He was glad for once that Meulin couldn't hear. It would certainly disrupt her nap that she was taking. He wouldn't want that. He heard more than saw a figure flop down on the grass next to him.
"Good morning, Kurloz," A voice whispered. He turned to see Alex lying on the grass. Even though she knew Meulin was deaf, she still whispered. He raised the hand not holding Meulin to his body and gave a slight wave of acknowledgment. He knew she would be here for a few minutes and then leave to find Porrim, Dolorosa, and Jane cooking in the kitchen and then to come tell them that breakfast is ready. Well, only Meulin would really be the only one to eat out of the two of them. He only drank a puree of nutrients. He hates it when Porrim glares at him.
"I'll come get you guys when breakfast is ready." Alex got up and Kurloz nodded his head to tell her that that was fine. She smiled and waltzed out of the Garden leaving him to his thoughts. He smiled when he felt Meulin shift a bit in his arms trying to get comfortable.
Starting Scene: Up in the Observatory and Astrology Store Room at 7.00 AM.
"... Hey Rose, can you grab me some of the Orion star charts from the Astrology Store Room?" Kanaya asked. Rose got up and stretched a bit.
"Yeah, sure." Rose smiled as she walked towards and into the Astrology Store Room. She glanced at the labeled shelves running her fingers along the shelving. She stopped at the shelf marked 'STAR CHARTS: ORION', when she hear a loud snore. Rose raised an eyebrow in question and turned towards where the sound was emitted from. There she saw Roxy passed out on a pile of rolled-up charts in front of the 'STAR CHARTS: LITTLE DIPPER'. Rose facepalmed. Of course. Roxy was also clutching a bottle of vodka. Rose walked over to her mom/daughter and gently shook her awake.
"Rox, come on. Wake up. You need to get to the baths." Roxy stirred a bit.
"Buth III don wan' a!" Roxy rolled over and away from Rose. The sober Lalonde sighed.
"If you don't, I'll burn your booze." Roxy sat straight up, wide awake and sober.
"You know as much as I do, that you can't survive without it too." Rose chuckled, amused.
"I so can too survive without it. I've been sober, what? A month?" Rose scoffed. "Maybe I'll go get Jane." Roxy looked at the light player wide eyed.
"No! Don' get Janey! She-she'll take all my booze away!" Roxy clutched the vodka tighter.
"Then get out of here and go get ready for breakfast. You might want to hurry if you don't want Jane to catch you." Roxy nodded and got up as Rose gathered the needed star charts. Both were surprised to see Jade and Vriska there as they exited the Astrology Store Room.
"Ummm... Look who I found!" Rose gestured to Roxy.
"Jadey? Where's Janey?" Roxy looked around for her friend.
"Um, last I saw, coming up from the Common Room." Jade looked at Roxy questioningly.
"Right. Bye!" Roxy booked it to the Stairs that lead to the Second Floor just as Jane entered from the Common Room Stairs.
"Uh. Breakfast will be ready in an hour, ladies." Jane smiled. "And Roxy is/will be in trouble. Hoo hoo hoo hoo!" She crossed the room to the other stairs and absconded from there. Everyone just kind of stared for a moment before going about what they were doing.
Starting Scene: Back to 6.00AM or so but in the Upper Deck Library.
Condesce cackled quietly. Signless was so silly sometimes. She turned towards the shelf she was looking at before, but then she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.
"Ooooh! A boonbuck!" She dived for it but only met air. A voice cackled from the Court and Law section of the Upper Deck Library. "Shucks..."
Starting Scene: Let's actually go back to 5.00AM or so, to the Gentlemen's Baths.
Zane walked into the Gentlemen's Baths to clean himself up before Alex woke and complained about him being pressed up against her without cleaning up his mess. He already cleaned her up so she wouldn't be uncomfortable. Gog. How he hated her being uncomfortable.
After rinsing off in one of the shower stalls, he moved through the steam and heard a moan come from the bath. He froze. He didn't even want to know. Zane turned and booked it to his and Alex's room.
Meanwhile...
GHB(Grand Highblood) felt relief flood him as the warm, soothing water relieved his aching muscles. Dualscar looked at him questioningly while Psiioniic chuckled. Psiioniic felt bad for the poor chap that had entered and left the bath. With all this steam, you couldn't quite see what is in here, so any "strange" noises would certainly throw anyone into a state of panic.
Starting Scene: 7.00AM or so and 2omeone ii2 iin the Laundry Area.
Sollux sat on the bench in front of the dryer, waiting for his clothes to dry. He would go back to the Boy's Dormitory to get some pants but unlike Alex, he perfered people not seeing his boxers. Especially since these have his star sign on them. Talk about embarrassing.
"Gog. 2tupiid Iidea to come down here to do laundry wiithout any pant2 on. 2mart move, 2ollux!" The Captor rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He just hoped no one else came to do laundry.
"Hey, S0llux. Nice b0xers." Shit! He hadn't heard Aradia come in. He looked behind him and there was Aradia and her Dancestor Damara. Well, crap. He was sure to get an earful.
"Ah... Hey, AA and DA... Diidn't hear you come iin here..." Sollux chuckled nervously and noticed through his bicoloured glasses Aradia and Damara were sharing hold on their laundry basket. Well, double shit.
"Oh... So these are the ones Eridan was talking about." Everything kinda froze and Sollux looked at Damara. Not because she spoke in clear English- everyone knew Rufioh was trying to teach her it even if it was broken- but because of her comment.
"ED diid what now? Why wa2 he talkiing about my boxer2?" Sollux looked at Damara shocked. Aradia was socked enough to put down her end of the basket, but that didn't faze her Dancestor because she put down her end and clapped her hands together.
"He seemed upset one afternoon. I listen to him rant about how it was unfair that you spent more time with Meenah's decendant than him and I told him at least he knew what colour panties you wore and not silly decendant Feferi. And he cheered up and told me all about those cute boxers you wear." Damara smiled and Sollux blushed a bright yellow, as Aradia giggled.
Meanwhile, somewhere else...
Eridan thought how he would like to strip the cute boxers Sollux wore, right off and have his way with him.
...
"ERIIDAN!" Or maybe not. He hoped that he could run fast enough judging by the way Sollux shouted his name.
Starting Scene: Let's move back to the Garden at 'round 7.15AM or so...
N. Redglare cackled quietly to herself as she watched Latula and Mituna approach her little far corner of the Garden.
"...M4n, 7h47 w45 l4m3..." Mituna frowned and Latula nodded in agreement.
"Y34h. Tot4lly not r4d." Latula shook her head.
"Well. Why did you do it if it wasn't rad? Quite silly that you would complain about how she was just protecting the pond." N. Redglare almost cackled loudly at the look on the Dancestors' faces.
"4h! N. R3dgl4r3!" Latula chuckled nervously. "d1dn't s33 you th3r3." N. Redglare raised an eyebrow.
"Indeed. Now, why in the world are you complaining like 1-sweep-olds? It's perfectly natural for her to try and protect the pond." Latula and Mituna looked guiltily at each other, then to N. Redglare. The Ancestor sighed. Today was going to be a long day.
Starting Scene: Moving to the Kitchen at 7.30AM... Or so...
"... And so, do you understand that humans like us havwe a complex system of howv vwe do things, Kan?" Cronus watched as Kankri nodded, awed by the new information.
"I d9 see. That is quite amazing kn9ledge y9u have." Kankri looked to Karkat. "Were y9u paying attenti9n, Karkat? This is vital kn9wledge!" Karkat stifled a groan.
"...AnD tAv-BrO jUsT sWoOpEd In AnD i DiDn'T aLl Up AnD kNoW wHaT tO dO. nExT tHiN' i KnOw, ThE sCrEeN iS fLaShIn' "GaMe OvEr"." Zane nodded in understanding. Next thing anyone knew, Alex let out a frightened squeak.
"Alright! Clear out! The Kitchen is now ours for the next half-hour."
"Oh, Jane. I don't think you need to be so forceful about it. You could just politely ask."
"O+h, it's o+kay. Kanny and his friends understand. Right bo+ys?" Kankri and the others turned their heads towards the ladies that entered and nodded their heads. Porrim made a shooing motion and the boys evacuated into the Dining Hall.
"See. Didn't need to+ ask nicely." Jane giggled with Porrim. Dolorosa frowned and got to work, the other two girls falling in step behind her.
Starting Scene: Dining Hall. 7.45AM. Or so...
"I l9ve p9rrim in a very plat9nic way, 6ut just s9metimes, she'd scary..." Kankri shivered as he sat down in the nearest chair.
"I nowv knowv howv Kurloz feels vwhen he gets glared at by her..." Cronus hugged Kankri to try and stop his shivering.
"Cr9nus," The elder Vantas said warningly.
"You are shivwering, doll. It is colder than usual. Normally, I would give ya my jacket, but I forgot to grab it." Kankri huffed. "Your wvowvs are safe and intact."