A/N:
So, this is my first fanfic, the idea just struck me one day… here it is:
All Over You
JPOV
I lay on my bed in my small, cramped bedroom, thinking. I didn't really do anything else nowadays.
My father was getting worried, and I didn't blame him. I didn't want to cause him harm, but I couldn't help it. I hadn't seen Bella since she had visited me in my room while I was healing, three weeks ago, and by the way she and the bloodsucker had been acting, I was expecting a wedding invitation any day now.
I felt anger flare up within me at the thought of Bella, sweet, innocent Bella marrying that bloodsucking leech.
Easy, Jacob, the voice of reason within my head told me, Phasing is not the smartest thing to do right now, considering your injuries.
The voice was right; the vampire surgeon had still not given me the okay to phase, just in case it would mess up my bones. I didn't see why, just a week ago I had phased just fine. However, that had been an accident, and my father had overreacted, telling me I wasn't allowed to phase again until I was completely healed.
To distract myself, I flipped on the radio I had bought with the money I got from selling my motorcycle. It was too painful to have around, bringing back memories of a happier, leechless time. I had hated seeing Bella like that, but I knew that if I had had just a few more months, I would have made her better.
But then they all had to come back, and Bella went back to the bloodsucker as if nothing had even happened!
Jacob, I warned myself, you're defeating the purpose of listening to the radio in the first place…
I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and leaned back onto my pillows, listening to the music. A couple songs played, but nothing really worth listening to, and I found myself tuning out a couple times. Then, I heard a guitar intro, different from the hip hop playing earlier. Someone started singing, jolting me out of my thoughts.
Yeah he's a looker,
but I really think it's guts that matter most.
I displayed them for you,
strewn out about from coast to coast.
The words hit a nerve, and I tried not to think of their implications in my life, but failed. The bloodsucker's face drifted to the front of my mind, and I scowled, practically hearing Bella's voice chastising me in my mind.
Edward, she seemed to say, his name is Edward.
Fine, I thought to myself, Edward. How could she pick him? Sure, he was handsome, but was he there when the redheaded bloodsucker was there looking for her, stalking her?
NO! I thought to myself, He WASN'T! I was! I was the one running all over, making sure she was safe, like he had promised she would be!
Absorbed in my thoughts, I jumped when the voice started singing again. I had forgotten music was even playing.
I am easily make believe,
just dress me up in what you want me to be.
I'll take back what I've been saying for quite some time now.
Again, the implications were too strong to ignore. Just one word from Bella, just one sign that she loved me just as much, hell, even just a part of how much I loved her, and I would've taken back anything and everything I had ever said wrong to her.
I had made a big mistake, though. I had given myself hope after our kiss before the battle, where she had pleaded with me to stay. However, since then, she and the leech had only gotten closer. And, although she had offered to come and visit me, I didn't think I'd take her up on the offer. I doubted if I'd ever see her again, and I needed to get over it. That didn't make it any easier, though.
I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
It was true. I was not over her, and every cell of my body ached to taste her again, like that kiss in the clearing that day.
In my daydreams, in my sleep,
infatuation turning into disease.
You could cure me, see all you have to do now
is please try.
Give it your best shot and try.
All I'm asking for is love,
but you never seem to have enough
I felt a painful tug at my heart. This was getting creepy. I had dreamt about Bella many nights since the battle, and I had contemplated visiting her as she slept. I knew without a doubt that I would've done so, had I not known the bloodsucker very rarely left her side, including while she was sleeping.
One of the most painful things was the knowledge that just a word, a touch, and she could make me better, cure my heartache. All I was asking for was love, but she didn't seem to have enough to love me as she did that undeserving leech.
The chorus played again, but when the bridge started, I got a much-less-than-pleasant shock.
This life is way too short
to get caught up in all this stuff
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?
The song seemed to mirror my thoughts- why couldn't Bella just love me back?
And as this question repeated over and over again in my head, the rest of the song played.
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you just love)
Why won't you just love me back?
With that, I hit the radio a bit too hard. It flew against the wall, and shattered. I didn't care. Feeling strangely numb, I ran out of my room through the kitchen. As I passed through, I saw a square envelope with perfect calligraphy addressing it on the kitchen table.
I sped out the door, making sure to grab the cursed crutches I was forced to use to keep up the injured façade of mine. y bones had long since healed, but the humans who had seen me injured didn't know of my enhanced healing abilities, hence the crutches.
I couldn't stop thinking about the envelope, and why the handwriting had looked so familiar. But by now, I was already halfway down the road, too far away to head back to the house, instead headed towards where Bella and I used to practice our motorcycles, before-
Don't think about it, Jacob.
As I hobbled along, I saw Leah over by the cliff, the cliff that Bella had jumped off of, that day the bloodsuckers came back.
Don't go down that train of thought, Jacob. It only brings you heartache.
The song came back to my mind. Surely it was all just a coincidence, right? Nothing more than that, just a sappy breakup song, nothing to get worked up about. There wasn't even anything in the first place to break up.
Jacob…
As I sped towards Leah, looking forward to a distraction, I put the song out of my mind, the envelope as well. It was probably just from a distant relative.
I mean, it's not like the contents of that envelope would come back to haunt me…
Right?
A/N: So, there it is, my first fanfiction. I'm not really expecting any reviews, although it might be nice. I dunno, I was listening to my iPod one day, and the similarities of the song to Jacob's dilemma kinda struck me. I'd been toying with the idea for a while, and I finally got the nerve to write it up. I'm not really that big of a Jacob fan, to tell you the truth. Nothing wrong with him, just… B/E forever. I can sympathize for him, though. Anyway… review, if you wouldn't mind, and go easy on how bad a writer I am, please? I'm more of a reader, really…
P.S. The song's name is "All Over You" by the Spill Canvas, it's pretty good!
