One Step Closer

Disclamer: I own nothing

Setting: The story is an AU set during the 4th season, although some events may be postponed or anticipated.

Summary: Sometimes life doesn't go as we planned… Sometimes something unexpected happens and we have to revise our projects... Sometimes change is necessary. Sometimes change is everything… and when we most need someone to wipe our tears, the chances we get, change our lives…

Enjoy your reading... Hope you'll like it!!

-"No mum I just can't stay here… I'm... you know… the mountain thing... well, the thing that comes out of the mountain I should say… anyway…I just can't stay! Send my love to Sookie and the baby…"

-"Come on! You said you wanted to come!"

-"Yeah! I know! But it was before I realized what was going to happen!"

-"So what, are you going home or walk on by the halls of this hospital? I gotta go see how's Sookie doing… you could… wait in front of the coffee machine, though!"

-"Well, that's not a bad idea... I think I'll have a tour, some coffee, just wait for you-know-what to be over..."

-"Oh, I remember when I"

-"Please! Not that story again!"

-"Aw... I thought you wanted to know your origins"

-"Yes but since you so explicitly and plainly and detailing explained that to me, I think I'll pass… and, I let you know, because of you I'll never ever have a baby!"

-"Ah ah... Don't blame me! Besides, I didn't even tell you of..."

-"Whatever it is, please, I don't want to know"

-"Call you when everything's done?"

-"Oh yeah, I really wanna see her baby!"

-"Okay honey... and if you would be so kind to bring me..."

-"A cup of coffee from the machine? No… I'm not coming back here!"

-"Evil spirit"

-"I'll take that as a compliment! "

-"Whatever"

Rory was walking through the halls of the Hartford Hospital, trying to spot the so loved coffee machine, have her coffee and just sit. It had been a tiring day and it reached its peak when Sookie changed her plans for the night with her mother, because the baby chose that very day to "see the light at the end of the tunnel"… Therefore, her mother rushed to the hospital and so did she not realising, then, where, how and why they were going there. Thus, when she thought about it, she found herself stuck in that situation, stuck in that hospital… She loved Sookie but she couldn't bear… women bearing…not at that time at least.

She was exhausted. She had to admit that attending Yale was really hard but, at least, she gave her last exam that morning, for the next 3 months she could have relaxed a bit and in that moment she just needed to release the tension of the last days.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't quite paid attention to were she was going so, when she bothered doing, she found herself in intensive therapy.

-Great, I got lost! – She suddenly thought, and started to wander around looking for some nurse, but it seemed a deserted zone… no other sounds, apart from the beeps of the electric machines, could be heard.

-311.. 312…Where am I going? 313…314… How big can be this floor??

410… 412…- very big. -Oh! There they are! The stairs! I almost forgot their shape -

She thought, seeing the stair at the end of the corridor. She was urging to drink her coffee but before precipitating to the stairs, she spotted something… well, someone, familiar.

Actually, she didn't want to double check if she wasn't mistaking, since she thought that it was due to her lack of caffeine but, at last, she decided to turn around and check.

Nobody could imagine her shock, realizing what she saw wasn't a fruit of her caffeine-lacking mind.

Right there, clearly recognizable through the window of the 415th room, lying in a bed surrounded by all sort of modern machineries, there was this boy who caught her eye, not only because of his beauty, but because he reminded her of someone she used to know… in High School… Yeah, who else could he be? How couldn't she recognize him on the spot?

It was none-the-less than her mate, the "tormentor" of the days she attended Chilton prep school…

-Oh my god…That is...Tristan??-

She finally put a name on that face. How could she have forgotten about him for so many years…? It had passed... almost three years since the last day they met, since the Romeo & Juliet play, since he was sent to military school, since he said goodbye… three years since she was last called Mary… She had removed that nickname so much time ago… but to her it seemed like yesterday the day he invited her to the P.J. Harvey concert, the day he and her boyfriend -well, EX boyfriend –Dean had a fight.

Memories came to her mind like a flood… Images overlapped in her head… the cute, cheer face of the bold and lively kid, with the pale, sick and worn-out face of the young man on the other side of the window glass… He wasn't the annoying, self-centred jerk she used to remember. No more. She thought.

She felt her legs paralyzed. She couldn't stand that guy, but she was so sorry for him … all alone, ill, in that cold room. Not a card, not a bunch of flowers. Just machines. No friends, no family, no nurses. Just machineries.

She guessed no one would have envied him that much or consider him lucky if they had seen him in that very moment.

-Poor thing…- She stared at him through the window for a while, and then decided to go find that coffee. She put the blame on the coffee she hadn't drunk if she felt that way- she couldn't quite say how- just as if there was something she could do for him. However, it was clearly impossible, given the situation. She was about to go when a young girl who appeared to be a nurse popped out of the stairs. She crossed the corridor intently looking at the folder in her hand. At first she didn't notice the petite girl, with deep blue eyes and brown hair tangled up in a messy ponytail; she was wearing a simple, spring, lilac short dress and that was what caught the attention of the nurse as she rapidly raised her green eyes from the documents. That and the fact she seemed to know "Angie", the young boy of room 415. They used to call him that way as a short for Angel, since he was so handsome, he had those angel-like features. A real angel-on-earth… What a pity he was all alone…

She moved towards the girl, and questioned her-"D'you know him, Angie?"-

-"Angie? I thought… Well I must be mistaken…He just... he takes after a friend I met in high school… well, he wasn't a friend of mine, I kinda hated him! Well, not hate hate in that sense, just... you know…"-

-"Tristan DuGrey"

-"How do you know? "

-"Easy"

-"Did you go to Chilton or what?"

-"No... I meant that Tristan Dugrey is the name of the boy over there, we call him Angie because… well, long story…Is he that non-friend of yours? –Seeing that the girl in front of her didn't respond, added: -"So? Hey, you okay miss?"-

-"I…"- She just froze…. Then she was right. That was him. Evil Tristan. Nerve-racking Tristan. Irritating Tristan. Her Tristan.

-"Miss? Do you need help?"-

-"No…I… it's just, you know, I haven't heard from him for so long… I thought… but now… How's he??"-

-"Actually I can't…"-

-"Please…I need to know… I'll be our little secret…"-

Maybe because she was the only one who showed up, or maybe because she seemed really worried about him, she decided not the follow the rules that time. She was tired of people pretending to care, and she seemed she really did.

-"I'm Stacy, by the way, Stacy Goldwin."-

-"Rory. Rory Gilmore"-

-"Let's say DuGrey for tonight"- she told her winking- "You may need to sit down… Come on, in…"- and she opened the door gesturing her to follow her.

She just froze right there, sat on that brownish chair, hearing the nurse speak. Every word was like a wound that dug deeper and deeper in her heart. She couldn't explain why his story touched her so much; maybe because they knew each other, they had been friends… Or at least tried to be!

-"You said you were friends in high school, right?"-

-"Yeah, one of a kind…"-

-"I'm sorry… I'd better leave now… See you around Rory."-

Here she was. Alone. Again.

She moved her chair closer to Tristan's bed. The brownish chair she suddenly spotted because of the colour… it reminded her of coffee. She remembered that she was looking for a cup of coffee earlier but, in that moment, she wasn't willing to have it.

She just sat there, in silence. She didn't quite know what to do. They weren't so close, they'd never been, except the night they shared a kiss. It was a simple, gentle, soft kiss. She still remembered how it felt. She never forgot it. She couldn't. Unfortunately, at the time she wasn't ready to admit how much it meant to her.

She looked around. It was an ordinary hospital room. It could even looked cosy if it wasn't for all the various machines connected to the body of the guy she was next to… he had little cuts and bruises on his face, and on his hands, his arm.. He looked even poorer from that distance. She felt the urge to hug him, just to give him some of the affection he clearly needed. She held back that thought and, instead, she grabbed his hand. Which she never let go…

She didn't know where to go or what to do so, in the best Gilmore's style, she started talking:

-" So… I don't know if you can hear me… Do you know who I am? Guess what?! I'm Rory, Rory Gilmore. Do you remember of me? You used to bother me at high school. You and Paris actually. It's been a lifetime since we last see each other! You used to call me Mary, remember? I do! Hell if I do! What a stupid thing! Mary! I hated you for doing that."- She paused and than, out of the blue, se added: -"You, know, I didn't go to Harvard. I went to Yale. With Paris! It sound crazy but that's the way it is… we are even roommates... and friends, also. You remember she wanted to go to Harvard? Well, she wasn't admitted. Poor thing, a shock. At least she had the courage to admit it publicly. That and the fact she was virgin no more. God what a moment...it will be forever remembered in Chilton's History!! I'm sure if you had been there, you would have liked it…"- She smiled softly;

The more she looked at him the more she tightened her grasp, as to let him know that she was there, he wasn't alone, that she cared.

-"So… you went to military school, uh? I didn't quite imagine you like that kind of guy but… here you are… You've joined the army… it must had been funny to have you as cadet, uh? What grade are you? Private 1st class I think… I didn't quite get what Stacy said... Stacy's your nurse. Well, one of your nurses. She's nice. I guess you would have liked her. Brow hair, green eyes, classy, chic look. Not very tall though. Anyway, she's kind… and good. She told me how you got here. It must be tough, uh? Being injured during a mission… God I'm not surprised you are so messed up. I mean, after being shot… and… being involved in a bomb explosion… I'm surprised how you are still alive. Well, if being kept alive by machines can be called life…At least you're dreaming of a better world, now, I'm sure…"-

She was almost in tears, war and conflicts weren't her type of things, especially when someone she knew was involved. She couldn't understand how someone could have done that to him, such a nice guy, after all. He didn't deserve that.

Okay, he chose to be there, to go to Iraq, he knew the risks but… that's s just too unfair

-"You know, I always wanted to be a reporter. I knew I would have to go in places where there's war, where people fight, but I never quite thought about how it could be to find oneself there: the battles, the attacks, the bombs, the sound of the guns and the smell of powder gun... then the scars, the bruises…"- She felt the tears in her eyes, just imagining what he'd gone through – "…I know, I know, you chose it. You decided to join the army, you knew what you were going through but… did you really have nothing to lose?"-

-"It's just crazy how life goes, isn't it? One day everything's okay, you have plans, you know exactly where to go and how to get there and, the next, it's like you lost directions, everything goes wrong, things doesn't happen the way they were supposed to go, how you planned. Life changes. One day you are living your dreams and then, puff! In a matter of instants something unexpected happens and your life all your plans are messed up… And all that's left to do is get over and do it again. Again and again. Until you reach the point you can really said you're proud of you…"-

She didn't quite know why she was talking to him; she just felt it was easier. She knew he wouldn't have judged her…

Well, he couldn't even if he wanted to… but… I guess this is how things are supposed to go...

-"You know, I changed a lot in the past few years. Change sometimes is good. Sometimes, when you don't know anymore who you are, you have to forget the person you were, in order to understand who you clearly are. However, this isn't important now. The most important thing is for you to get better soon! Can't wait for that! For you giving me one of those curious smirks of yours and calling me Mary as if it was the most ordinary thing of the world! It used to annoy me but you know, thinking about it right now I might admit I even liked it… just a bit though! Guess this is going to be our little secret!"-

-"You know, I should go… it's getting late… and I must have a sip of that coffee… besides I must check up on Mum and Sookie. Sookie is mom's best friend. She's having a baby. Right now. And I was trying to find a way to get away from it! I suppose I made it, uh?"-

She said she should go, but she never did. She kept coming.

The weeks kept flowing and, almost everyday, she stopped by to see how he was, having a little chat with Stacy. She brought him flowers and had a mono-conversation with him every single time. It had become all part of a routine. A routine she could not explain; neither to herself, nor to her mum. She didn't know why she kept on calling on him. It was as if she missed that 2 hours they shared together, in which she totally opened to him. He knew everything of her. Her habits, her little manias, her problems, her everyday life, her mom, Lane, Luke… she told him everything, and a little more… she shared a piece of her.

If only he woke up…

Her hopes were up every time she walked in the hospital, but were down every time she finished talking with the nurse. No sign of recuperating, that's what they kept saying. He didn't seem to get his strength back. Once Stacy told her that, in cases like this, there's anything to hope for but a miracle… but she didn't want to believe in it. Miracles are for people who believe in God, for people who lost all their hopes, and all that's' left to hope in is the belief in a sort of supernatural force that can solve all their problems, that can answer all their questions. Miracles are for people who have nothing else to lose but, for her, it was different. She had everything to lose.