Dora's 14th Birthday: The Eternal Ordeal
Chapter 4: "The Pull God"
The crusaders had all gathered at Howard's ship, they were waiting for Howard to come back from buying some groceries, so they could then discuss where they would travel to next. "I can feel my mother's pain all the way from here, I don't want to wait any longer, I want to find him now." Jesus had lived with his mother and his father for a long time, and had always disliked him, despite being his father. He always knew that to Donkey Kong, Dora was only a tool. Diego tried to comfort his son. "Be patient my son, we will defeat him, and we can go back to being a family again." Jesus was comforted by what Diego had said, but nonetheless he was still anxious to see his mother again. Howard returned from his shopping trip carrying 3 large shopping bags each containing the necessary ingredients to pinpointing Donkey Kong's whereabouts. Howard revealed the 3 ingredients that could help them discover the whereabouts of the most powerful man in the universe. He tipped the bags over and G-Fuel, milk, and a pineapple dropped out of the bags. The crusaders starred at Howard in a distraught manner. The ingredients that would help them find Donkey Kong G-Fuel, Milk, and a Pineapple? "Hombres, hombres, lemme explain what these are for." He cut a hole in the pineapple, then he poured the milk all over the hole to lube it up, and he then chugged the g fuel down his windpipe. Howard whipped his dick out and fucked the pineapple, at a speed of 2357 fps. Howard groans loudly as his dick runs up and down the inside of the acidic fruit, then he pulled it out with cum all over his dick, then turned towards Shrek and spoke "I know where he is now…" The big-dick crusaders had no choice but to believe his words.
The crusaders patiently waited in their rooms as Howard piloted their ship, their course had been set to land on planet Nagiiv. None of the crusaders knew how Howard had been able to track Donkey Kong by fucking a pineapple, but they had no choice but to trust him. Diego and Jesus were still watching some anime together, having been the closest thing to father-son time Jesus had experienced in his life so far. Shrek and Donkey were playing a game of Uno, and it seemed as if Donkey was winning by a noticeable extent… Until Shrek pulled out a reverse card, which then won him the game. The crusader's ship, now dubbed as the "Cock Carrier" was approaching its destination. Howard told the crusaders to prepare themselves for the landing. "I'm having trouble finding a place the land, the planet's surface is too dangerous to land on as of right now, you'll have to jump off my ship to get down there." The big-dick crusaders didn't hesitate, one by one they each jumped off the Cock Carrier, nosediving towards Nagiiv's surface. To make sure that their landing was to avoid any sort of injury, they tied their dicks together to allow for more air resistance. Once they landed on Nagiiv, what they found was a barren wasteland, a civilization was once full of prosperity was now completely destroyed, and everywhere the crusaders looked they could see traces of semen, as well as thick, brown, and long strands of hair. The crusaders couldn't believe what they were looking at, they hadn't made it in time, they had let him get away once again. The crusaders were surrounded by destruction, everywhere they looked what they saw were only remnants of what had been a one-sided slaughter. Donkey started running towards some of the destroyed houses, trying to find any survivors, but there weren't any. Shrek joined his furry friend, helping him lift buildings using his colossal, bulging, veiny, ogre dick. Jesus and Diego were still recovering from the shock. Out of nowhere, they started hearing a faint, muffled, but beautiful voice.
Diego and Jesus started violently trying to lift the rubble the voice was trapped under, frantically moving their cocks in all four directions to try and free it. The voice was starting to grow less and less muffled, and it upon closer inspection, the two men could tell it was a woman's voice. Shrek and Donkey had given up for looking any more survivors, and instead started sprinting towards the rest of the group. By the time Shrek and Donkey caught up to Diego and Jesus, the girl that was trapped under the rubble was free, and she was one of the most beautiful women the crusaders had ever laid eyes upon. She was wearing a red dress, a silver crown, and was barefoot (nut). The crusaders were speechless, despite their experiences with women they didn't know how to talk to someone so breathtaking. Shrek took initiative and meandered his way up to the girl. "Scuse me ma'am, but could you explain to us what happened here?" The girl didn't answer his question, Shrek continued to try and get her to talk. "I'm sorry, I know we're complete strangers, but we're looking for someone very important." The girl finally made eye contact with the ogre, and then she slapped him. Shrek didn't even try to dodge it, he didn't even flinch, he took the slap just like any man should. Donkey rushed to defend his smelly friend "What the fuck do you think you're doing, lady?!" The girl didn't say anything, and then she walked over to Jesus and lowered herself to his height, Diego was skeptical of the woman, but he knew that Jesus could take care of himself. Jesus looked at the beautiful girl, not sure what to do. After an uncomfortable amount of silence, the girl introduced herself. "Sorry about that, what's your name, sweetie?" Jesus didn't realize he had been asked a question, he was entranced by the figure, even though her face resembled that of Michael Jackson. His father answered for him, still skeptical of the beautiful girl. "His name is Jesus." The girl kept on trying to converse with the little boy. "Alright, my name's Carly Shay, but you can just call me Carly, nice to meet you, Jesus." Jesus didn't know what to say, he didn't have much experience in talking to other women, he had spent his whole life in Donkey Kong's home, where the only woman that was present was his mother. "Sorry to bother you, but we would all like to know what happened here, and especially would like to know who did this." Carly turned away from the ogre, and looked at the ruined citadel. "The destruction was almost instantaneous, it was as if he had destroyed everything the moment we all blinked. It was as if the destruction had occurred when time itself was stopped, and the only thing we got to experience was the aftermath of it all. By the time it had all happened, my coochie was overflowing with what seemed to be a monkey's cum." Upon hearing this, Diego's eyes widened, and Donkey's dick became erect, ready for battle. Shrek grabbed the woman by her hand in the most respectful way possible. "Did you see where he went, ma'am?" The beautiful queen kept staring into the distance. "No, I did not. But for some reason I feel some kind of connection, as if I am his, it feels as if I have become the monster's property. I feel as if he has complete control over each and every one of my actions, and right now, something is calling for me."
Having said that, Carly started levitating towards a certain direction, all the while performing the holy t-pose. The crusaders started chasing after her, as she started speeding up to speeds over 100 km/h. "Where the fuck are you going you tramp?" Donkey got no response from the t-posing tramp, and instead she started speeding up even more. The crusaders tried to keep up the pace, the last thing they wanted was to let Donkey Kong to take another woman's dignity. The crusaders started panting, as Carly was accelerating more and more, and was about to take off. Jesus, having the most flexible dick out of all of them had folded it many times, to create the shape of what seemed to be a lamborghini. The rest of the crusaders were using similar methods, forming many different shapes. Donkey's dick had formed into a tank, Diego's dick had become monster truck, and Shrek's dick, the least flexible out of all of them, had simply folded into 8 legs, making Shrek look like a daddy-long-leg. Of course, Shrek was far behind the rest of his crew, while Jesus was far ahead of all of them. Jesus was filled with rage, yet again they had let Donkey Kong take more innocent lives, and now he was trying to take another woman, who would end up meeting the same fate as his mother. Carly was starting to accelerate again, and Jesus was struggling to keep up. Jesus was afraid he wouldn't be able to catch up with her if he let her get any farther, so Jesus used his dick as an engine, and nutted as hard as he possibly could. Jesus's cum acted as a sort of speed boost, his lamborghini was now violently spewing semen out of its engine, almost doubling his current speed. This was a very risky move, now that Jesus had nutted his lamborghini had become weaker, and if he were to crash into a wall the damage to his foreskin could be beyond repair, but he didn't care about any of that. Jesus quickly caught up to the t-posing beauty, and all of the semen that came out of his engine came together to create one giant hand, ready to grab Carly.
The crusaders couldn't believe their eyes, never before had they seen such articulate manipulation of one's semen. Shrek's lava floor couldn't come close to matching what Jesus had done, the semen was so perfectly crafted into one beautiful shape, it looked like a beautiful ancient monument that couldn't age. Each of the crusaders had some sort of ability to manipulate their semen, allowing them to shoot semen towards their opponents accurately or confusingly, or make their semen extremely hot by making the sperm cells rub together and create heat. But never could they have imagined an eight-year-old child could possess such masterful semen manipulation. The hand started moving ahead, inches away from grabbing Carly, it looked as if the very surface of Nagiiv wanted to catch Carly. The hand finally caught up with the holy figure, and managed to get a firm grasp on her. Jesus's 『 SPERMATIC SPANKER 』had finally caught the lady, but for some reason the magnetic force that was pulling her refused to stop, and was dragging the hand along with it. Carly showed no signs of slowing down, and although slower than before, she was still able to match Jesus's lamborghini. Jesus's concentration was immense, his thoughts had been completely cleared of any distractions, the only things he was thinking about was making sure his『 SPERMATIC SPANKER 』remained intact, and his dick kept on spewing out more sperm out of his lamborghini to try and catch up to it, all the while forming tiny little hands that would assist their big brother in slowing down the beautiful Carly.
While Jesus was busy trying to stop the magnetic force that was pulling the queen, the crusaders had grouped back together, and were now trying to find the location of their enemy. Diego and Donkey were both confused on what the hell was happening, they had never seen anything of the sort happen before, they simply assumed this was the doing of some kind of anomaly. "Surely this can't be Donkey Kong, or one of his cronies either, I've never heard of a dick with a gravitational pull" said Diego, convinced that this was the doing of some type of alien technology. Donkey nodded in agreement, they then both turned towards their smelly friend and saw that he thought otherwise. "There are many different dickjutsu techniques, and each student usually specializes in only one of them, sometimes two. The most any student has ever achieved was mastering three of them." Shrek paused, still not making any eye contact with his comrades. "But then there are dojos that teach completely different beliefs, and its students are taught by pornstars, and not by black belts. These students are taught completely different techniques, all of them being ways to make them more attractive as people, or helping them lose their virginity. They do no seek the power to protect, but the power to fuck." Shrek clenched his fist when speaking the last sentence, enraged by the disrespectful nature of those students. "I have heard vague things regarding these techniques, but one of them has to do with increasing one's attraction. It will allow you to attract any female as if you were a magnet, and without realizing they'll eventually be giving you the grande suck whether or not they want to." Shrek looked at his son fighting that magnetic force, filled with pride and worry at the same time. "The only way to stop the magnetism, is to destroy its source."