The Good Wife

by Kadi

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I'm only borrowing. I intend to return them... soon.

A/N: Between the way Jack left, and the irritation on Provenza's face during those three episodes... this one has been building for a while. Then there was Duff's comment during the live Facebook chat while Return to Sender part 2 was airing. In his response to one of our shippers, he said that Sharon was "married, but dating". That comment sent my brain into overdrive. Enjoy!

There were religious reasons, and there were financial reasons, and things she simply couldn't explain. Those were the words with which she had used to describe her marriage. It was well rehearsed. She had been using the same line throughout the twenty-plus years of separation she had engaged in with Jackson. It was a matter of not wanting to admit failure, as much as it was not wanting to give in and give Jack all of the things that he had no right to. California divorce law was known for favoring the unworthy. Sharon wasn't willing to risk losing half of what she had worked for, although she would give it to be free of him. No, it was the risk she ran of spending the remainder of her life paying alimony that kept her from filing for divorce.

Sharon never expected that Jack would file. He seemed content enough to use their status to further his own needs, when it served that purpose, or to ignore it when it didn't.

Her bewilderment must have shown in her wide-eyed gaze when the processor placed the envelope in her hand with the simple, "You've been served."

Every member of her squad turned their gaze on her, and there were a myriad of looks. Confused to concerned, and one that held resignation. Her gaze fell on Provenza and he just shook his head. He wasn't entirely fond of her husband, and it showed now in the distaste with which he snorted and slapped the papers in his hand down on his desk. He had only barely tolerated Jack's presence the previous summer, but his dislike of the man went back many years.

Sharon's eyes fell to the envelope in her hand and she sighed, quietly. Her hands moved with quick, jerky motions, as she opened it. It was what she expected it to be, the bold, emblazoned words DECREE OF DIVORCE stood out in stark contrast to the white paper upon which they were printed. Her jaw clenched and she turned, not even bothering with an excuse. She closed herself into her office and flipped the blinds.

She dropped the papers onto her desk without studying them further and made a single call. "Need you."

If having their Captain served in front of them was a surprise, the squad did not react to it, or to the arrival of Gavin Baker half an hour later. He walked through the murder room as though he owned it, and didn't spare a glance for anyone. He pushed through the closed door and let it swing shut behind him.

She was standing behind the desk, back to the door, and attention focused on the Los Angeles skyline - or what they could see of it from the ninth floor. Her arms were folded across her chest and her back was straight. Gavin studied her, quickly, and decided she was more annoyed at the moment than anything. He spied the papers and lifted them before speaking. He read through the first page quickly, it was all the usual verbiage. The second page made him hiss.

"Bastard." Gavin's eyes narrowed.

"Yes." She spoke, voice thick, and rasping slightly. Curiosity had finally gotten the better of her while she waited for him. Sharon wished that she hadn't read them. That would have made it so much easier to just give it over to Gavin and set him free on Jackson.

"He's claiming infidelity." Gavin's teeth gnashed together. "He is actually requesting a paternity test and claiming that Beth isn't his. He's claiming the emotional duress of raising a child that was not his, to an unfaithful wife, has led him down a road of alcohol and gambling addiction which has further impaired his ability to maintain a stable career. He's using it as grounds for spousal support. That ungrateful, inconsiderate, louse!" Gavin snapped the papers down on the desk with such force that she jumped, and he regretted it.

She wanted to scream. Emotion was building in her, so thick and so raw, that she didn't know if she would be able to contain it. It curled deep inside, making her stomach clench and knot and her chest ache. "I…" Sharon couldn't even speak. She shook her head and turned her attention back to the skyline.

Gavin sighed. He walked around the desk and laid his hands on her shoulders. She was tense. He could feel it in the tight bunching of the muscles beneath his hands. He felt the sigh shudder through her before he heard it. He turned her toward him and lifted her chin. The raw pain in her eyes made his own heart clench. He decided that he was wrong, he could despise Jackson Raydor more. Gavin drew her into a hug, holding her ramrod straight body loosely. She would relax, but she never accepted comfort well. She was too unaccustomed to receiving it.

"Okay." He said. "We can deal with this. That man has opened the very gates of hell and he is going to regret the moment of stupidity that prompted him to draft such lurid… crap." She shuddered again and his hands stroked her back. He lay his head against the top of her head. "I'm going to fix it, sweetie, you just leave it all to me. I'll counter file, and he won't know what hit him. We've got emotional abuse, abandonment, and psychological—"

"No." Sharon pushed away from him so quickly they both stumbled. She backed away, shaking her head and began to pace the office. "No, absolutely not. I won't. Gavin." Desperation curled through her. "No."

"Sharon, those accusations could ruin your reputation, and possibly even your career. Jackson is claiming you've been having an affair for at least twenty-five years. It's not enough that he wants to destroy what's left of your family, he's out for blood. The man has obviously lost touch with reality," Gavin stared hard at her, tracking her movements. "We fight back harder, and with the truth."

"No." She ran a hand through her hair. "You know as well as I do that he was just a drunk. Gavin… he sobered up. He left. I'm not going there. Emotional abuse, abandonment, fine. Attack his addiction, attack his gambling. He's had affairs over the course of our separation, and even before that. We have proof of those too. I will not destroy my kids by sinking to his level."

"Anymore than they're already going to be destroyed?" Gavin picked up the divorce papers again. He huffed an annoyed sigh. "Fine. You know if we can't stop it in the preliminary round, there could be a subpoena? We'll have to get DNA from Beth and…"

"Yes." She whispered. Sharon dropped into one of the chairs in front of her desk and buried her face in her hands. "Gavin. I never…"

"I know." He walked over and knelt in front of her. "I know you didn't. Even if you wanted to, you didn't."

Sharon looked up and there was bitterness in her gaze. She'd had a man that could have loved her and she sent him away, time and time again, because she was never anything but faithful to the man who was now claiming otherwise. "How do I do this? How do I tell my daughter that her father hates me so much that he would cast her away for a chance to ruin me?"

"The same way you do everything else." Gavin tipped her face up and smiled. "Chin up, sweetie. Full ahead, take no prisoners."

"I suppose." She looked away and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. It was hard, damned near impossible to push the emotion back behind the wall. She didn't manage it, but she could pull down the facade, pretend she had. That she was only too good at. Sharon drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, her chest ached. Her stomach continued to clench tightly. She wanted to be sick. "Okay." She shook her hair back and swept a hand over her face. Sharon stood up and moved to the door. She opened it and found several pairs of eyes staring back at her, questioning, waiting. "Lieutenant Flynn, will you join us please…"

"He's asleep." Sharon returned from putting Ricky back in his bed and folded a leg beneath her when she dropped onto the sofa beside her partner. She tipped her head back and sighed. It had been a long day. Ricky hadn't wanted to go down, he wanted to stay up and listen to more of Uncle Andy's stories. When that hadn't worked, he said he wanted to wait up for his dad. But Sharon knew that Jack wouldn't be home until sometime after midnight. He couldn't study at home, so he stayed late at the library. Although how he came home smelling of cheap whiskey when he was studying so hard, she didn't question. She didn't want to know the answer.

"I should get out of here. Let you do the same." Andy leaned forward and put his beer on the table in front of them. He stood up and smiled down at her, a crooked upturn of his lips. "Dinner was good. I'm sorry I missed Jack."

"Yeah." She didn't bother to make the usual excuses. Instead, Sharon stood up to walk him to the door. She pushed the tail of her long braid back over her shoulder and curled a hand around his wrist. "Maybe next time."

"Yep." At the door he looked at her. He was supposed to have his kids tonight, but his wife called and cancelled on him, like she did so often. He drank too much, and sitting in his partner's house had helped, only marginally. He was craving the oblivion he could find in the bottom of a bottle of bourbon. It would chase away the loneliness, the bitterness, and the anger. He wouldn't give a damn about anything once he had it in hand.

When he looked down at his partner he saw the same loneliness reflected back at him. They'd been riding together now for over a year. She was fresh out of patrol when he got saddled with her, but after riding together a while, she had grown on him. Sharon had a cool head on her shoulders and she could pick out the details he missed. She was also easily taught, and hell on wheels in a tight spot. She had saved his ass a couple of times now. He still meant to get her down to the academy training range, take her through the course, see which of them was better. Andy had a feeling it was her.

"Hey." He smiled at her. Tapped her nose. She looked unspeakably sad at the moment, and he knew she was thinking about the husband. Andy knew Jack, and knew he was probably at Malone's, the bar that he and others frequented. He met Jack there before he realized that Jack was married to his new partner. He was a funny guy, and not opposed to buying a few rounds. Although, as he got to know his partner better, Andy was starting to think that maybe he spent a little too much time away from home.

He had a good thing here. His wife wasn't nagging at him, constantly on his ass about one thing or another. Or maybe he was biased. His loyalty had shifted at some point, to his partner rather than his drinking buddy.

Andy wasn't sure what prompted him to lower his head and try to kiss the downturned curve of her lips away. He couldn't explain why his hand moved into her hair and tipped her head back so that his mouth could angle over hers and take possession of that sweetness. She tasted faintly of the wine she'd had with dinner and when she sighed into his mouth, Andy pressed her back against the wall of the small foyer. He might have questioned his behavior, but for her hands in his hair and her mouth just as insistent when the kiss deepened.

His hands swept down her sides and to her jean clad bottom. Desire swept through her, liquid heat that pooled at her center and made her forget all reason. She whimpered when he lifted her, and wrapped her legs tightly around his hips. He was already hard against the inside of her thigh and she wanted to rub against him until he was aching just as keenly as she was. Her breath caught in her throat when his hands swept beneath her sweater. His hands were warm, burning against her skin.

The sound, the thick, low whimper that escaped her throat seared right through him. Andy pressed her more firmly against the wall and reached for the clasp of her jeans. Her stomach muscles danced beneath his fingers as they swept low across her belly. Her fingers wrapped around his wrist and stilled him.

"Andy." She was breathing hard and her face was pressed against his shoulder. She was aching, trembling with desire, and it would be so easy to give herself over to it. How long had it been since she felt ignited to the point of complete abandon? "No," she whispered. "I can't. I'm a married woman."

He wanted to growl in frustration, but that she was still shaking in his arms. He let her down slowly, gently. Her eyes were dark when she looked up at him, and there was regret and sorrow mingling with the desire in her gaze. She wanted him, but she wouldn't take him. "I'm sorry." It made him feel like such a heel; he wanted to chase away the sadness, instead he'd made it worse.

"So am I." He was not blameless. She had reached for him as well. Sharon remained against the wall when he stepped back from her. "It's okay."

"No, it isn't." His eyes darkened briefly. "I wouldn't leave you alone."

She smiled, just slightly. He was with her because he couldn't go home. Because his wife wouldn't have him anymore, he drank too much, fought too much, and worked too hard. Still, she appreciated the sentiment. "Good night, Andy."

"Night. I'll see you tomorrow."

When he was gone she cried. For how close she had come to crossing that line and because she couldn't remember the last time she felt that way with Jackson. She resolved to stop leaning on Andy so much that night, and to press Jackson to not spend so much time away. They needed him at home. But she never told him about the incident with Andy.

Sharon looked at Andy now, so far removed from that night in the foyer of a house she no longer owned. He was staring back at her, the desk between them, and she knew that she was not the only one lost in memory. He held the divorce papers in his hands, and she could see the storm brewing in his dark gaze. She could almost pity Jack if Andy ever got his hands on him, but only almost.

She pressed her lips together and clasped her hands loosely against the surface of her desk. "I'm sorry." It wasn't only her behavior being called into question. This was going to be an embarrassing mess for both of them.

"Hell." Andy dropped the papers onto her desk and stood up. He paced, fists clenching and unclenching. "We never…"

"I know." She looked down. "Jack has decided to think otherwise."

"Obviously." He ran a hand through his hair. "Bastard."

"Yes." She wasn't going to disagree. "Andy, he's asking for a paternity test. You and I both know that Elizabeth isn't yours, but…"

"Whatever he thinks happened that night, you got pregnant soon after." He cast a look at her, and there was enough bitterness mixed in that it was clear a part of him hadn't forgiven her for that yet. Whatever desire she had for him that night, she turned it on her husband and a few weeks later she was sick as a dog and pregnant with her daughter. "Hell of a trick you've got there, Sharon, considering I've never made it past second base with you."

She groaned quietly at the look that earned her from Gavin. "Andy." She glared at him.

"Wait just a minute." While Sharon had filled her Lieutenant in on the details of the divorce filing, Gavin had taken out a legal pad and was making notes on their counter measure. The turn that their conversation had taken had his head shooting up and fixing his old friend with a piercing look. "Are you telling me that there is reasonable doubt here? There could be some justification for Jackson stating you two have been carrying on for two decades?" He pointed his pen at her, "I can't help you if you don't tell me what we're facing." Gavin looked between the two of them. They had gone silent and were staring at one another. When they both looked away he collapsed back in his seat. "Oh my god."

Gavin began quickly packing up his briefcase again. "I have to get out of here before I hear more than I should." He took the divorce papers and filed them away with the notes he'd made. "I will do what I can, but this is going to get uncomfortable. Maybe I can scare him enough with the counter that he'll withdraw the rest."

"We won't hold our breath," Sharon said quietly. "Thank you, Gavin."

"Oh, I wouldn't thank me." Gavin made a face at her. "I might just bill you for this one, sweetie." He lifted up his briefcase and gazed between the two of them after he stood. "You two behave. Whatever it is that you've been doing, stop doing it, at least until this is done. No more second base, no first base, no even thinking about bases… and how immature is that anyway?" He rolled his eyes at them and slipped out of the office. Already he had a headache. He was going to make Jackson Raydor rue the day, that would make him feel better.

"I should get out of here too." Andy said after a moment. He was left standing near the outer wall, back to the windows. "We don't want them to question why…"

"I know." She was looking at her desk. She couldn't bring herself to look up at him. Just when she thought that maybe, just maybe, life was going to go smoothly… it never failed to push another sharp turn in front of her. Rusty made it through the trial, he was back at school. Things were looking up for him, and he was coming to terms with who and what he was. How would this look to him? What would this do to him? It was going to destroy her other children, but she worried for Rusty as well. Not to mention her career. Then there was Andy's. Every investigation into his conduct that she had ever closed might just be reopened if it was believed that they had acted inappropriately.

"Hey." His voice was gentle. He tipped her face up. "You never did anything wrong." Andy searched her eyes, then smiled gently. "It was never you, Sharon."

"Wasn't it?" She curled her fingers around his wrist. "I'm as much to blame, aren't I?"

"No." He shook his head at her. "I am not going to allow him to destroy you for being stronger than he is. If it comes down to it, it was me. I pursued you. You were more than fair considering my unwanted advances. I'll retire, they'll let it go. It will be fine."

"Absolutely not." Sharon's eyes widened. "Andy, no. I am not going to let you…"

"Try and stop me." He bent and kissed the top of her head.

"Andy." He was heading for the door. "Lieutenant!" He ignored her and stepped out of the office. Sharon fell back in her chair and groaned. He would do it. She could order him not to, and he would do it anyway. "Damn it." They could only hope it never came to that. Maybe she should pay Gavin this time, it looked like he had his work cut out for him.

It was an almost physical pain, ignoring her, but Andy kept walking. He stopped by his desk and picked up his jacket and his car keys. The files he was working on he carried over and dropped onto Provenza's desk. "Do me a favor, wrap these up."

His partner gave him a concerned look. "What was all of that about?" He waved a hand in the general direction of the Captain's office. Flynn had gone in, looking concerned and puzzled, but had come out in as dark a mood as Provenza had ever seen him in.

"Don't worry about it," Flynn shook his head. "Just take care of those for me." He rounded the desk and started walking toward the exit.

His partner grunted. He did not appreciate or like being kept in the dark. If Flynn had done something idiotic, he wanted to know about it now, before it got any more out of control. "Where are you going?"

"No where," he called back. The truth was, he needed a meeting, and he had to get out of there before he gave in to the urge to put his fist through a wall. He managed, by some small miracle, to keep a lid on it until he was in his car. Then his hand slammed hard against the steering wheel several times. A string of curses left his mouth, dark and colorful, and expressing his extreme fury. If he could get his hands on Jackson Raydor, he would make the man regret every moment of pain, every tear, every second of doubt, and every single night of loneliness he forced upon his wife when Andy would have gladly kept her occupied and happy.

"Are you kidding me?" He was as angry as he had ever been when he strode into her office. The door was open, but it usually as. Andy kicked the stopper and pushed it closed behind him. "This is bullshit, Sharon!" He waved the write-up at her. "That asshole had it coming. He threw the first punch."

She sighed at his ire and placed her pen back on the desk. She expected this when she set the final report down to his Captain, along with her recommendation. Sharon folded her hands together and tilted her head at him. "You engaged in a fistfight with another officer, Lieutenant. I would hardly call that Bullshit," she stated calmly. "You've got a temper, Lieutenant. We both know it. While I will agree that you were not the only wrong party in this instance, you could have chosen better. You didn't. For that, you will attend the Anger Management course, and complete the requisite hours of additional education in the subject. Officer Davidson will be doing the same, along with a formal reprimand for instigating the encounter." She picked up her pen again. "It's done. Being angry with me isn't going to do you any good."

"No, but it makes me feel a hell of a lot better." He scowled at her. "So let me get this right. I defend myself, and I still get sent to Anger Management. How is that in anyway fair?"

"Next time, don't get physical." She glanced up at him and gave him a small smile. "You do have the ability to control yourself, the fact that you chose not to is the reason for the punishment." Her eyes glittered at him. "That, and I happen to know that you've been spoiling for the opportunity to lay Davidson out for a long time." Sharon shook her pen at him. "You were naughty. Do your time like a big boy."

Andy rolled his eyes at her. "You can be a real bitch, you know that?" He dropped into a chair in front of her desk and sighed. "It's not fair for you to use your knowledge of me against me," he tried.

"As a matter of fact," she smiled sweetly at him. "I have perfected the art of bitchiness since taking this job, and I'm constantly looking for ways to improve, thank you so much for noticing. I can't tell you how very touched I am." Her brows lifted. "As to the other, if that were true, Andy, you'd have a reprimand too. The fact that you don't is because I didn't use what I know about you in this investigation. Otherwise, I would have concluded that you provoked Officer Davidson into throwing that first punch." Sharon stood up and walked around the desk. She leaned back against it, facing him, hands clasped in front of her and sighed softly. "You're better than this. You know it, and I know it. You've been doing so well, I don't want to see you ruin everything because you can't control your temper."

"Really." He stood up and stepped closer to her. "If I was doing so well, then why is it that you're down here with the rats, instead of riding with me up on five?" At his height, he towered over her, and when he stepped into her personal space, she had to tip her head back.

"You know the answer to that," she said quietly. "Andy… I can't, I just…" She looked away and shook her head. "It isn't about you, I hope that you know that." Sharon sighed. "But I need the more stable hours. I need to not be shot at on a regular basis. My kids deserve that. Jack's gone, and they need me home at something that resembles a reasonable hour."

"Jack has been gone for a long time." Andy tipped her face up. "Your kids aren't babies anymore, Sharon. I get why you took the transfer. I can't stand you down here with these losers, but what I can't stand even more than that, is that you took the promotion to lead these bozos." He made a face at her. "Come on, this cannot be what you want. Come back to Robbery-Homicide before these slime balls completely ruin your reputation."

Her lips curved into a smile. "I hate to break it to you, Andy, but it's pretty ruined already. I am the Bitch Queen of the demon squad. I think you might be the only one, outside of my division, who remembers that I'm not really the devil incarnate."

"I wouldn't go that far." Andy grinned down at her. "I still think you're satan." He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and traced the curve of her cheek with his thumb. "Do I have to do the entire week of class?"

She laughed at how he pouted at her. "Yes, and I'll make it two weeks if you don't stop whining about it."

"Yep, definitely satan." He sighed. "You are mean, Sharon." She was also still a beautiful woman. Two kids and a crap marriage hadn't changed that. He missed her, but life hadn't been the same since her daughter was born. The husband took off not long after, and she had moved into Internal Affairs because the hours were more suited to single parenthood. Andy bent his head, intending the kiss to catch her cheek, but at the last minute he changed his mind and his lips found hers soft and pliant. He could still remember the taste of her, and the heat of that supple little body against his. He hadn't touched her again since that night, and they had agreed to never discuss it.

He didn't know what possessed him to now, only minutes ago he had been so aggravated with her that he just wanted to shake her, but now he was feeling an entirely different impulse. He drew her against him and slipped a hand to the small of her back, holding her in place. His other hand threaded into her thick hair and tipped her head back. There might just be a very good reason why she wouldn't consider coming back to be his partner, the fact that she was now a Captain not-withstanding. He couldn't seem to keep his hands off her when they were alone together.

He had to admit, too, that the new job came with an interesting wardrobe. He was most appreciative of the skirts she wore now. His hand swept down, and slowly lifted the hem of the little black skirt she was currently wearing. It was quickly replacing her jeans in his fondest memories.

"Andy…" She had pushed him away the moment his hand slid up the length of her thigh. She was out of his arms and around the desk, using it as a barrier between them. "We discussed this."

"He's gone, Sharon." Andy ran a hand through his hair and attempted to cool the fire in his blood. "He hasn't been back around in, how long?"

"I'm a married woman," she told him. "Whether he's here or not, I am still a married woman. This can't happen again. You need to leave."

"Keep fooling yourself all you want, Sharon," Andy walked toward the door, but stopped just shy of opening it. "I'm here, he's not. That might not always be the case."

Andy remembered slamming her door behind him. He also remembered that she wouldn't look at him for several months after that. That day was the beginning, however, of all the animosity between them. Prior to that, he gave her the same amount of crap he had given anyone in Internal Affairs. Afterward, he wasn't sure if he just wanted to hurt her, or if he wanted to convince himself that he wanted to hurt her.

He lashed out at her every chance that he could. He thought up new and inventive names to substitute in place of her title, and he was as belligerent and hateful as he dared. Always stopping just short of insubordination. He didn't want to lose his badge over it.

The only problem with Sharon was, she gave back as good as she got. For every ounce of hell he threw her way, he received a pound of it in return. He lashed out, and she fought back. It was more subtle, of course. She could tear a strip off his hide with a few well placed words, and he came to realize that she was just as proficient with her tongue as she was with her gun.

Every time her eyes had flashed in annoyance, every time her lips thinned or pursed in exasperation, he would smile and feel just a little bit better about the need that settled in his gut when she walked into a room or onto a crime scene. It was a hell of a thing, the angrier he made her, the more he wanted her. It was insanity.

It was the reason he was going in search of a meeting. Her pain had him wanting a drink to the point of being able to almost feel the burn of the bourbon on the back of his throat. It was a long time since he had felt that way, but he could at least feel better in being able to recognize it, and how to handle it. Andy turned the car's engine over and put it in drive. The sooner, the better. Otherwise, he'd satisfy his need for a drink by tracking down Jack Raydor and beating the ever loving snot out of him. Too bad it was such a long drive to Vegas.