Part 1 – What now?
A year ago we blew apart the Hellmouth. Then everyone got their lives back on track, and by "back on track", I actually mean we all got lives. Willow and Kennedy moved into a house down the road from us, Xander moved into an apartment next to the Slayer Academy in Cleveland, but Kennedy, Willow, B, Dawn and I all live in a small city, smaller than L.A. but bigger than Sunnydale. B and I got to together 4 months ago, and as soon as we did we moved outta Cleveland and to New York, we… actually Giles, bought us a nice 2-bedroom apartment. Dawn is away at college, but she stays in that other bedroom during holidays and some weekends.
I can't really tell you how I feel, I'm not good at 'expressing my feelings', as B told me one time. But I can tell you that I definitely can't sum it up in one word. It's mostly because I've never felt this way before, and I love every single goddamn moment of it.
I can tell you this though: I fucking love B.
Your probably looking for the how, right? Well that's one story I absolutely love to tell, so here it goes.
Hellmouth = kablooey, you know that part, but what you don't know is the months following up to the now. I wandered from state to state, with Robin, slaying one demon to the next and one vampire to the next, sure it was a blast, and Robin made good on his promise, but when we weren't killing, I had time to kill, so I made good friends with my thoughts. All I thought of was B. At first I covered up what I felt with hate, because it's what I've always done, but I had her image from those weeks I fought side by side with her at the Hellmouth in my head, and eventually I couldn't deny it. It took me 2 months, though. So month 3 rolls around, and I leave Robin, to go to Cleveland. Middle of month 3 I'm helping Giles and B with the junior slayer's training. Month 4, we're good ol' buddies again, fighting side by side, dancing side by side and just hanging out. But at the end of month 4, after dancing and drinking, we kiss. She screams, I scream, she walks away and I cry for the first time in a while. A week into month 5, (which means it took her about 2 weeks) she apologizes, I knew she would, I just had to give her time. During training I sometimes caught her eye and she'd look away, turning red. But all we are again are ol' buddies, and my heart starts breaking. Middle of month 5 I catch her making out with some guy, and my heart breaks. I run, I'm feeling too much at once, it's killing me. I drink… a lot. 3 months later I stumble back into Cleveland, to my old dorm on the Slayer Academy grounds. I remember stumbling into B, and seeing one hell of a smile on her face, when I say stumble, I actually mean stumble… I landed in her arms. I stood back up, nodded and ran to my dorm. By then I was already piss drunk, like 4 bottles of Jack Daniels I think, I gulped a whole nother one when there was a knock on my door. I open it to find Buffy, she asks to come in and I say no, and shut the door in her face. She knocks again; I throw the half empty bottle of JD at the door, but she still keeps knocking. I lay down on the bed, finishing off my 7th JD. I pass out, and wake up with one killer headache, a clean dorm, which was dirty when I went to bed and B snoozing peacefully on the couch at the other end of the dorm. I took 2 aspirins, brushed my teeth and changed my clothes. When I sat back down on my bed, crossed leg, she was stirring. Her eyes fluttered open and I remember my heart dropping from the way she looked at me, desire and longing. I jumped back up; she sat up, yawned and stretched. The way she stretched made my whole entire body tingle. She stood up said something about cleaning my dorm and staying to make sure I was okay, I nodded my head and said thank you, but I was to focused on what she was wearing, a tight white tank top, and the jeans I let her borrow before I left. She was wearing my jeans.
"I'll just go now." She had to walk past me to get to the door, and as she did I grabbed her by the arm, ever so gently, and we stared at each other for like 5 minutes straight.
"You're wearing my jeans." She opened her mouth to say something, but I grabbed both her arms then, and kissed her, our bodies as close as possible.
We decided to take the relationship slow. Normal was are aim, but we couldn't keep our hands off each other, so we made love a week later. Yes, I did just say 'love' and not 'sex', first time I said sex, B got pissed off, I later found out she thought maybe I was just using her. I laughed at that and said "B, if I was just going to use you, I would've took you the first time we kissed."
We got Giles to buy us a nice apartment, one with lots of vampire and demons, because we didn't want to give up slaying. We moved to New York, Dawn begged G-man to let her go to college near us, and he gave in. B got a part-time job as a waitress in a fancy restaurant (Giles was paying the electric, water and etc. bills, but we still needed food). Life couldn't get any better, I get to stay home all day, B works from 10am to 4pm, which means I can wake up with her in my arms, then go to dinner with her in my arms. I like her in my arms.
Okay, we're now back at the now.
B just got home from said job. I heard the door open and close, but she didn't come around to the living room, she went straight through the kitchen, which could only mean one thing, she's avoiding me. I sprint around to the other side of the kitchen, just catching her as she hits the doorway. I was going to kiss her, but something made my jaw drop and my hands ball into fists. It isn't the fact that she has dirt all over her clothes and face, nope.
It's the fact that her hair is black and there's a huge gash on her upper left leg.
Part 2 – Déjà vu, up the wazoo.
I don't think I've ever seen Faith look more shocked, it's kind of funny. I'd laugh if I didn't want to punch walls. Please don't ask me anything. Just leave me alone, but of course she's not going to do that, she's my girlfriend.
"B, what in the hell happened?" See told ya. No, I take that back, I can't really tell you what happened.
I had a great day at work, great tips. One minute I'm driving home, the next minute the radio starts playing some old crap ass music. So, I shut it off, but it keeps playing. Then images started playing in my head. A big gray barn. Then a knife. Then a gold ring on a chain. And at last I wake up on the side of a dirt road, come to find out is 30 miles from here. A gash on my leg, and my hair black. What the fuck?
"I really can't say." Oh, I said that so mean. What is wrong with me? I feel dizzy. "And now I don't feel good." I walk past Faith, slamming the bedroom door behind me, leaving Faith, mouth agape in the kitchen. I just thought agape, what kind of a fucking word is that? I slide of my pants and whip them into the laundry basket, which made a clank. Weird because I just put my keys and cell phone on the nightstand. I slide on new pants, and check the pockets of the old ones.
Only to find a knife. Okay, only is an understatement, I've never seen this knife in my life, and I didn't notice it was in my pants until now. I'm getting dizzier, and the room is changing, I lean against the wall and slide down.
Suddenly I'm walking into a bar, a dirty, grungy, run down bar. I walk past the door which is half off the hinges, through the front room, where half the booths are ripped, the tables dirty, the floor dusty, and just before I round the corner into the back, I walk past 'I need your help', written in the dust under a table of a guy who is staring intently at me. Déjà vu running all over the place. He as slick black hair, a black t-shirt, dirty jean overalls and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
"I just want to talk." He says as I round the corner. I walk down the hall, past bathrooms, into a phone booth, still holding this odd knife. This is wrong, all of it. So very wrong.
I raise the knife to my arm, pulling it across skin, digging deep, feeling the pain it's causing, not just physical but my mind is screaming in protest too, and I think of Faith. Oh, how I love her.
"B?" I try the door, it's locked. "Buffy?" Still no answer. She never ignores me. I step back and kick the door, gently as I possibly could. I did a good job because it just swings open, slamming against the wall. I walk a few steps in not really focusing on B, but I stop dead in my tracks as soon as I do.
Buffy is staring into space, a knife in one hand, a long gash across her other upper arm. "Buffy!" I'm kneeling next to her in the next second, hands on her knees, which is at her chest. She continues to stare into space. I'm panicking; I haven't panicked this way since B was stabbed by an Uber Vamp through the stomach. I put both my hands on the side of her face, rubbing her cheeks with my thumbs and lifting her head up so she's eye contact with me. Her eyes are wondering over my face now, but all she does is sigh and lean back against the wall, out of my reach, facing away. I put my hands back on her knees.
"Why'd you color your hair?" I needed to know I still had a voice, and plus I really loved her blonde. She looks at me.
"I didn't… I don't think so anyway." Okay, confused. Maybe if I give it a minute she'll start talking, she usually does but this isn't a usual situation. She starts running her hands through my hair.
"I had a good day at work, good tips, everything was fine. When I started driving home the radio started playing some old, crappy music, I turned it off, it kept playing, then I remember waking up on a dirt road 30 miles from here, not in my car, which was parked on the side of the road, I was actually a few feet away, in the dirt, a huge gash on my leg." Ah, that's why she's late… and dirty. She stops running her hands through my hair. Then oddly enough tries to get up, I tug on her arm, keeping her down, then pull her into a kiss, pushing her onto the floor. I break apart the kiss, when I'm sitting on top of her stomach, then I take both her hands and entwine her fingers with my hands.
"So, how'd you get the other gash?" I wait patiently, there's no way she can lie her way outta this one, it's pretty damn obvious she did that herself. Why? I'm not quite sure; it's not like her to inflict self-damage.
"I have no idea where that knife came from, and I have no idea why I just cut myself, it's like I was watching myself do it from a different place, I guess I went crazy for a minute. I had major Déjà vu. This room changed into a bar, where I walked in, saw a guy, under the guy was written 'I need your help' on the dusty floor, I walked into a phone booth and just cut myself." I got off her and sat crossed legged on the floor; she pulled her hands out of my hands and sat on my lap back to me, leaning against me. "Faith, I just don't get it. It's kind of scaring me, and these gashes hurt a lot." I wrap my arms around her, leaning my head on her shoulder. Suddenly she stood up, and started pacing. I'm still sitting here trying to register what she said.
"I need to find that bar, Faith."
Part 3 – Jessie and Aiden
I grabbed my car keys and my cell phone.
"I have my phone, call me if you need anything, I'll be back later." I knew right then, that I need to find that bar, I have no idea why, but I needed too. I walked out of the bedroom, past the kitchen, and I had my hand on the front door doorknob, when I was spun around, and crushed in between Faith's lips and the door. I put my keys in one pocket, my phone in the other and I grabbed Faith's ass pulling her whole body closer. As I broke apart for air, I suddenly remembered the bar. I also realized I forgot about everything, even my name in that moment I was kissing Faith. She is my everything; I want her to be mine forever. When I find that bar, I'm going to buy a ring, and ask her to be mine.
"I'll be back later." I will be, as soon as I find that bar, the faster the better, then I can ask Faith to get married. I pushed her a couple of steps back, and sprinted to my car, and I swear I heard "sweetheart" whispered in my ear, just before I got in my car.
"B, c'mon!" I shouted after her, but she still started up the car. Sprint faster. I opened the front door, and hauled her out, then shut the front door, leaning against her and the car with all my weight. "Just listen please, B!" I shouted at her, and she stopped struggling, looking up at me with determined eyes. "Let's order pizza, then call Willow, see if she can help with anything –" I paused suddenly, she kept talking about that bar. "She if she can help find that bar, if she can't we'll get up in the morning and go ourselves, okay?" She wrapped her arms around my waist, then kissed my lips, my nose, my neck and then laid her head on my shoulder, rubbing her hands up and down my back.
"Okay."
We had dinner, and no matter how much I tried to start up a conversation, B would always answer with one syllable, "mhm", "right", "yeah". But it wasn't like she was mad at me; she had this dreamy look on her face the whole time. I called Willow right after, she came over and pulled some mojo. We found out that there's a spirit invading B's body. So technically, there's another person in her body, double the feelings and according to B, this spirit needs help with something. Add the greatest negative into all this; it can't be removed unless B helps the spirit and all the spirit is showing her is images and inflicting pain.
"I'm tired, I'm going to bed." I give Faith a kiss on the lips, get off the couch, go into the bedroom and change into pajamas. I sat down at the vanity table, but when I looked in the mirror, my reflection wasn't there.
"Help me!" The lady screamed. I jumped up and grabbed a blanket covering the mirror with it. I walked over to the door, planning on telling Faith about what just happened, when I hear loud footsteps coming down the hall, like big boots on a wood floor. Faith's not wearing boots and the hallway leading up to our bedroom is carpeted. The doorknob started turning and for some reason I'm panicking when I know that I can beat the hell out of whoever is out there, and Faith can too. Apparently that doesn't matter because I dive under the bed. The door opens slowly and in walks a pair of tall black boots. The boots walk to the corner of the room and I crawl out from under the bed and sprint out. I stand in front of Faith and the TV, she stands up, looking confused. I point to the direction of the bedroom.
"Somebody just came into the bedroom, Faith!" I shout at her. I don't know why, but I'm scared shitless.
"I'll go check." She gives me a quick kiss on the lips before she darts out of view. When she comes back I'm still standing in the middle of the living room. "There's nobody there, B." Everything starts to get blurry, and I find my way to the couch, just sitting down when the living room changes to that bar.
I walk to the phone booth again, but this time nothing is written on the floor and the guy gets up and walks in front of me.
"Hey –" is all he says, because I just walk around him and continue to the phone booth, dialing the phone.
A cool, low voice answers, "Hello?"
"Hey, babe." I say. "Can you pick me up at that old bar next to the water tower, my car broke down."
"Of course, I'll be right there."
"Thanks, you're a life saver."
"Hey, anytime, you know that." Then we exchange goodbyes and hang up.
I walk back out of the bar, around that creepy guy again.
"I just want to talk!" He shouts after me. I walk out of the bar and wait about 10 minutes for an old Cadillac. I get inside and a handsome guy, with brown hair and bright green eyes leans over and kisses me.
"Hey babe." Handsome says. I lean back as he pulls away, and in another 10 minutes we're pulling up at a 2 story blue house, with a big gray barn in the back. Handsome gets out of car and walks around to my side, opening the door for me. I stand up and kiss him, long and hard.
"I'd stay, but I've got to work early tomorrow." He says with a sad look on his face. I kiss him quick again.
"It's okay, just call me tomorrow when you get out of work."
"Will do." Then he walks back around and gets in the car, I wave to him as he pulls away. I walk into the house, setting my keys and coat in the kitchen, then I walk upstairs to a bedroom. I walk in, shut the door, then walk over to an old record player and turn it on, to some old music, I apparently like listening to. I hear loud footsteps coming down the, and in this house, the floors are wooden. I dive under the bed, the door swings open, and in walks a pair of tall, black boots. The boots walk to a closet, and I sprint out from under the bed, outside, into the barn, where I hide behind a thin wooden wall, with cracks so I can see the doorway. The guy with the slick, black hair and dirty overalls walks in.
"I just wanted to talk, sweetheart." He bends checking under some steps, and I charge out from behind the wall knocking him over, then I try to run for an axe on the wall, but he grabs my ankle and I land hard on a rock, cutting my thigh. He flips me on my back, the room blurring from the landing.
"Hey, sweetheart." He pulls out a knife and I start squirming so he grips both my arms, cutting one with the knife he's holding. He let's go of one arm, reaching for the buckles on his overalls. I scream. He laughs, but as he gets one buckle, I notice a piercing in one ear and I go for it, ripping it out. This time he screams, but a fierce look crosses his face, and he plunges the knife into my stomach. Then he gets a panicked look and runs, I watch him go, anger flaring. I try to move, but I can't, it hurts too much.
"Jessie!" It's Handsome's voice. I open my eyes. When did I close them? I see him leaning over me, panic written all over his face. "Oh no, what the hell happened?" He picks me up in his arms. "Oh no, Jessie." He sets me in the passenger seat of his car gently and sprints to the driver's side. We pull out and I remember the piercing. "Aiden…" I hold my hand up, showing him the piercing. "I love… you, Aiden…" I remember the night he proposed to me, I've to get him something, as a parting gift I guess. He takes the piercing, puts it in his pocket, then takes my hand and squeezes. "Hold on, babe, hold on." Tears start streaming down his face. I close my eyes. "I love you too, Jessie, with everything I got, c'mon babe, hold on, we're almost there, I can't lose you."
But Jessie didn't make it to the hospital, she died seconds after Aiden said 'I can't lose you', he felt her hand go limp and almost drove the car into a tree, but he made it to the hospital, where the doctor stated the obvious, but Aiden screamed "She's not dead, she's not!" Then fell into a chair and cried for 3 hours straight. Aiden came back to house for one reason, he decided to stay the night, maybe, he thought, if he stayed right then, he could've saved her. He still to this day blames himself, and Jessie senses this, even in death. The whole town pointed a finger at Aiden, and Jessie wants to turn that around. She wants her real murderer revealed. She wants revenge, and she will get it, for Aiden, for herself.
"Buffy!" I grabbed the knife before it got to her stomach.
"Aiden…" She gasps, her hand goes up, shaky, like she's handing me something. "I love… you, Aiden…" Then she goes limp. Wait… she just said she loved some Aiden guy! Shut up, Faith, B goes limp and your worried about her cheating on you? I shake her.
"B?" Nothing, mother fucking shit. Please, oh god let her be okay. I touch the bruise on her cheek, which she put there. She just goes and punches herself. Oh god, let her be okay.
"Faith…" Yes!
"I'm right here, B." Her eyes open slowly, and I kiss her, she kisses back. I feel a tear slide down my cheek. She's okay! We break for air, and I put my forehead against hers. I open my eyes, when I feel her wipe away a stray tear. I look at her, and she smiles. That beautiful Buffy smile.
"I love you, B." Her mouth drops open. I can understand why, it's the first time I said it to her. When she says it, I usually just reply back with a passionate kiss. I was always just afraid of what would happen, and now that I though I lost B, I'm wasting no time. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close, so close I was practically sitting on her lap. She rested her head on my shoulder.
"I love you too, Faith."
We went to bed, holding hands walking into the bedroom. Buffy held me impossibly close all night long, but I wake up alone. I run out to the kitchen, panicking for some odd reason, mostly because I just didn't want her to be gone. I breathe out a long sigh when I see her sitting at the counter, twirling the knife in one hand, the other hand holding up her head. I noticed she was already dressed, and I remembered what I said to her. I went and got dressed.
We left; it took us and hour to find that dirt road, which was another 10 miles from a town called Jensen. I saw the water tower at the same time she exclaimed "The water tower!" I looked at her confused, but she was staring straight ahead, that odd determination written on her face. She stopped the car at an old, broken down bar. When we walked in there was only two in there, the bartender and a fat guy in overalls with slick, black hair. B and that guy were having a stare down. Then she got scared and dragged me out, and we got in the car.
I pulled up to Jessie's house, and told Faith to wait in the car. "I'm looking for Aiden." I told her after she asked why; I think that just made her more confused. I knocked at the front door, no answer. I went out back to the barn, "Aiden!" I called inside, but no answer. I walked around to the back, only to find an old pick-up truck idling there, minus the driver.
"Hey sweetheart." My heart just stopped beating. I spun around and came face to face with Slick. "You's look familiar." He laughed. "Like that one sweetie I's tried to talk to back in the day." Then he got a mad look on his face. "I's didn't like that sweetie." He reached for something in the pocket of his overalls, the same one's that day he killed Jessie, except this time he was wearing a plain white t-shirt.
I ran, into the barn, hiding behind that thin wooden wall. Slick walked in, and this time he grabbed the axe of the wall. No turning his back this time just kept walking towards me. He axed the wall, blowing it apart and nearly missing me. I screamed. The slayer in me wanted to kick his ass, but something else was taking over. He walked in front of me, swinging the axe back and forth, back and forth. He smiles one fuck of an evil grin, and I stifle back another scream, and I'm backed into the nearest wall. As he brings the axe up, a board hits him square on the side of the face and he flies a couple of feet, slamming against a wall. Aiden takes Slicks place.
"Are you okay, miss?" He has a gorgeous smile. "I was just walking out when I heard you scream." I just nod my head. Then slick screams, a crazy man scream and knocks into Aiden, punching him wildly, a huge gash on one side of his head, blood pouring out of it. I charge at Slick, a charge that could've knocked him across the barn, but my slayer strength seems to be gone, so I just fall down with him. He punches me in the face, and I see stars. Then my body gets lighter, I didn't even realize he was on top of me until he flies across the barn. Faith is standing over me, knees slightly bent, fists in balls, her furious eyes staring holes into Slicks back on the floor. I use Faith to help stand up, grabbing her arm and pulling herself, she's still staring at Slick when I do stand up, leaning against her. There are still stars in my eyes.
I spot the axe lying next to Aiden, and sprint to grab it. I stumble back to Faith, the axe weighing a ton; she's still watching Slick, who is getting back up, grabbing at the wall to do so. I look at this guy and all I want to do to is rip his guts out, and I don't even know him. I feel my slayer strength come back to me, but yet I don't. My own mind is somewhere else, somewhere far away.
Somewhere far, far away. Right now I love Aiden unconditionally. I adore listening to old records. And that guy struggling to get up killed me, and tried to kill Aiden.
I run at him, swinging the axe over my head, it lands in his side, right under his arm. He gurgles, blood runs out of the corner of his mouth, then he falls to his knees and finally lands on the ground with a soft thud.
I turn around, see Faith and my heart drops. My heart. I turn my gaze to the ground, I loved Aiden for a moment, and that is wrong, oh so wrong. Faith is my soul. I curse silently at Jessie. She made me kill. I hear a groan, and turn my gaze towards Aiden, who is struggling to get up, and I feel a tug at my heart, I fight it down. Faith. Faith. Faith… Fai- but the tug is stronger and I find myself walking towards him, then helping him up. I notice the piercing on a chain around his neck, and I smile. The room changes, I don't fight this, I feel it's a good sign. Aiden and Jessie are in a kitchen, Aiden on one knee holding a little black box up. Jessie's crying, "I do!" she screeches and falls to her knees, wrapping Aiden in one fierce hug. My hand bumps against something, I look down, it's a table, with a folded piece of paper on it. The top says 'Thank you, Buffy.' I open it, 'I'm sorry about what I did to you, I noticed your love for Faith, I hope you two last forever.' The room shifts back, I look at Aiden who is now leaning over in a chair.
"I'm sorry about Jessie, but she just wanted you to know everything is okay now, don't blame yourself for what that bastard did."
Then I walked over to Faith, who was leaning over Slick, the man I just killed for Jessie. I tapped her on the shoulder; she looked back at me and jumped up instantly. She tried to hug me, but I don't deserve her kindness right now, so I just grabbed a hand and held it tight, dragging her out of the barn. I got in the passenger side, and she got in the drivers side. My eyes were stinging, my throat was clumped, but I held back the tears.
"B…" She was trying to find words, but sounded like she couldn't. She squeezed my knee, and the tears came. I leaned my forehead against the window, and cried, as silently as I could. We drove back to apartment in silence, except for the occasional heaves and sobs coming out of my chest. Halfway there I glanced in the rear view mirror, noticing my hair was blonde, again. As soon as she parked the car and shut it off, I jumped out and ran inside. Doing everything silently for some reason, shutting the car door softly, shutting are bedroom door softly, changing into my pajamas silently, and lying face down on the bed silently, smothering my sobs with a pillow. As Faith walked back into the bedroom, I finally stopped crying, I cried for 2 hours straight. Now I was just sitting on the bed twirling the knife in my hands. She took the towel of her body and towel dried her hair, then laid it on a chair. As she usually sleeps naked, I wished she wasn't putting on a pair of underwear and a black tank top. She took the knife out of my hands, then walked out of the bedroom.
I almost lost Faith the same way Aiden lost Jessie, except it wasn't a stranger, and nobody was in my body, it was me. I put her in a coma. All because I was in love with two people at once, Angel and Faith. I had Angel, though. I didn't need Faith, so I tried ending it. I could've used my own blood. I ended up doing exactly that at the end right?
The bed shifted, and another tear ran down my cheek. My throat was clumped again. I felt the back of her fingers start tracing my cheek, the cheek with a huge bruise on it, which I totally forgot about until now. Punch number one from the dream. Punch number two from Slick.
"B…" I looked at her, and she was already staring at me. She's so beautiful. Why did I ever choose Angel over her? I kissed her, long and deep. Taking her clothes off when we paused for air. I traced a finger over the scar on her stomach, and I cried again.
"I'm so sorry, Faith." She tried saying something, but I kissed her again. This time taking my clothes of during air breaks. If it ever sounded like she was going to ask me about why I was crying or about Slick, I'd hush her with a kiss or an orgasm. She stopped eventually stopped asking, but that was only because she fell asleep. I fell asleep right after her, pulling the covers over us, resting my head right over her left breast, leaving one had covering her scar, and getting as close to her as I could.
I woke up with B this morning, a very naked B. If she thinks she's going to get away with last night without talking to me, she's dead wrong. She cried on the way home. She cried while we were having sex. Either that's drool, or she cried again after I fell asleep.
She's waking, a sigh, then stretching. Ah, there's her beautiful green eyes. She looked at me, then kissed me, long and hard. I kissed back of course, with her kissing as passionately as she's doing now, how could you not? I sat up, pulling her with me, lips still locked. When we pulled apart for air, I gave her a stern look, then got off the bed, finding a pair of underwear and that tank top I wore for like a total of 10 minutes last night. My plan was to have breakfast, clean up breakfast, then sit back down at the dining room table and talk, because she looked pained, she looked like she was in pain. But as I finished pulling on my pants, I noticed she hadn't moved an inch since I got up from the bed. She just sat there, staring at the sheets. I walked back over and sat crossed legged in front of her. What do I say?
"I almost lost you Faith, and it wasn't because of some random guy, or because I had a revengeful spirit in my body, it was because I stabbed you, and for what? Angel, that's why. I loved him, I'm not going to deny that, but you are so much better. Your lips. Your heat. I was scared back then. I've always been scared of how you make me feel. Angel was love. But you… you're my love, my passion, my soul." She stopped, then swiped at her eyes, lips quivering, she was holding back hysterical sobs, don't cry, B. Your going make me cry, you just said the most beautiful I've ever heard… and it was to me.
Last night came back to me in a rush, 'I'm so sorry Faith,' then tracing my scar. Ah, I get it. I grinned, and evil grin. Her sad face turned to a cute face. She's so adorable. Whoa, I just said adorable. See what she's doing to me? I'll make her pay for turning me into a softy. Jeez man, don't worry, I mean in a good way.
"You better be, all those years of hate covering up what we really felt. All those years wasted. Tsk, tsk, B. C'mon you picked Angel over me, he's a good guy and all, but not fuckable, not at all. But seriously," I put my hands up, weighing one over another, "Angel… Me… Angel…. Me." I ended with one hand way over my head, and one below my waist. "But if we're being honest I'm still pretty damn mad at you for stabbing me and still pretty damn jealous of Angel, but that's in the past and this is the now, and the now makes up a whole fucking ton for the past, and hey it's only been 4 months." I kissed her. She kissed me.
We didn't get out of bed that whole day, or the whole next day, until the night when Dawn walked in the door for the weekend.