A/N:
Whooohooo my first story on this thing go mee!!!
Grimmjow: Wtf?
Ichigo: Don't ask just don't
Grimmjow: Oh don't you have something to say?
Me: Oh yeah I almost forgot!!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH AND I PROBABLY NEVER WILL!!!
ENJOY!~~~
Twas the night before Christmas and it all were busy in the white castle known as Las Noches. Arrancars running about giggling and decorating the halls in bright colors,and making toys. Santa's helpers were in charge of decorating the Christmas tree.
Where in the fucking hell did we get a Christmas tree? We're in the fucking desert I doubt that you will find a Christmas tree in a fucking desert!
Shut up Grimmjow you're messing up the whole thing! They stole one from the real world! There happy you over analyzing jackass, I wonder why you asked such a question anyway usually you make no big fuss! Now shut up and let's do this right!!!!
Fine whatever, its my turn now right?
Yeah!
Okay whatever... Strawberry.... Anyway where did we stop?
Here, just tell the story damn it Grimmjow!
Yeah Yeah!
Then came 'Satan' I mean 'Santa' Looking around,with a smirk on his face. A smirk you just wanted to tear off his face and pound his face in and-
Grimmjow your off topic...
Well I am only saying what's true!... He looked at the toys and gave a evi- I mean jolly laugh.
''Load these toys on the sleigh they need to be delivered into the real world '' He said his ass kiss- I mean his trust worthy elves following close behind.
''Gin I need you to prepare the Espada's get them ready! Tousen get me some milk and cookies!''
''....O...kay as you wish.'' Tousen answered leaving to go to the kitchen.
''Is it a good idea to let-''
''Now now Gin give the Tousen some credit he will do just fine.''
Okay its my turn again!
Meanwhile in the real world at the North Pole Santa was getting everything ready, elves were preparing the Reindeer and the The Presents. There was Dasher,Dancer, Prancer and Vixen. Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. But the most famous one of them all was Rudolph the red noes Reindeer.
Does are some fruity name if you ask me...what are they all gay or something...bunch of rainbow lovin' freaks if ya ask me.
Well no one asked you. You mistake of nature! Shut up and let me finish my part
Anyway...everything was prepared and they headed into the slumbering world.
In Las Noches they were all set to go. The 'Reindeer' were waiting impatiently. There was Yami, Aaroniero,Szayel,and Zommari. Nnoitra , Ulquoirra Halibel,and Baragon. But the most famous one of them all was...Stark?! Loading up his gear with his elves at his sides they went off.
Okay you're next. Grimmjow...Grimmjow? OH WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING ONE MY LAP?! YOU BASTARD DON'T DROOL ON ME. YOU 'RE SO FUCKING DISTGUSTING!
Zzzzz...Huh...wha...Oh its my turn? And Ichigo just calm the fuck down! It was you're own fault, you were boring the hell out of me!
So like the strawberry dude just said... Both Santa Clauses were spreading their holiday cheer. Well one was actually making things worse, can ya guess which one?
Grimmjow...
What?!... I went off topic again?
Yup.
Oh....well the Santa from Las Noches was dropping little Hollows to the earth and they were dancing the dance of Christmas. Smashing building eating souls and scaring the shit out of Carol Singers by hitting them with snowballs and stuff.
Seriously Ichigo who wrote this shit?
I don't know just continue.
Fine... The Santa from the North Pole, was giving gifts to the children, if they were good. The bad ass kids just got a shitty lump of coal. Pity on them HA! Soon both Santa crossed paths.
''Ho, Ho, Ho. Who might you be dear man?'' The real Santa asked with a cheerful voice and smile
The Santa of Las Noches gave a smile back ''I am Santa Clause I bestow Happiness upon every boy and girl!' He answered proud of his work so far.
''Oh we have the same job then? But that can't be I am the real Santa!'' The Santa Clause form the North Pole replied a bit confused.
''That may be so, but we have to decide who the real Santa Clause is.'' Santa from Las Noches said, a smirk plastered on his face.
Ichigo its you're turn.
Okay.
Both Santa's decided on a little competition, the one who was spreading the most Holiday cheer could be the Santa for the rest of their days. The real Santa went first and showed the Santa from Las Noches see how he made the children around the Globe happy. The other Santa just smiled and shook his head in pity. He showed jolly ol' Saint Nick how he spread happiness, around the Earth. Let's just say the way the other Santa Claus bestowed happiness and holiday cheer was rather disturbing and it creeped the hell out of the real Saint Nick.
''So its quite obvious that I win you fat ass.'' The Santa said triumphed.
''Oh no dear Santa from Las Noches, you are doing it all wrong this isn't happiness you are actually destroying the towns and making everybody miserable!'' Saint Nick said looking at all the mass destruction the other one had caused.
Las Noches' Santa quirked a brow and frowned. '' You can't except the fact that I do your job better! And for that I will kill you, you white bearded red jump suit wearing Homo.''
''What?!'' Santa Clause said
''You heard me, NOW MY REINDEERS ATTACK!''
Your turn Grimmjow.
Aww, but this part makes me so sad...
For real?
No, what do you take me for, a fruit cake?
You're such an asshole, you know that?
I know.
So where did you stop, oh right here....
The Santa from the North Pole and his fruity Reindeer were no more. And the Santa from Las Noches went on with his jolly self and spread Holiday Cheer! That night every boy, girl, the Spirits of Christmas, and ordinary Souls quivered in fear, of Satan Clause, oh I mean Santa Clause. Screw Peace on Earth! It was Hell on Earth, it was the Apocalypse!
The End!
That wasn't so bad, now was it Grimmjow?
Not really the ending was my favorite part!
I should've known... anyway Merry Christmas to all and Peace on Earth!
Hey strawberry Bitch I want my present now....
What do you mean?
Oh you know...
OH GOD GRIMMJOW DON'T!! NO YOU WEREN'T GOOD THIS YEAR OR ANY OTHER YEAR!
Oh fuck that being good shit I always get what I want now prepare yourself Ho Ho Ho!
...The...End?!
YAAY Thanks for reading I hope it was good? Yeah I wrote this during the Holidays but I just got it up here so uhm I hope it was good!
Everyone that reviews gets a Bleach Plushie of their very own!!
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