All is Well
As far as Seto Kaiba was concerned, there were only two kinds of fighting. There was physical and verbal fighting. Both could, if really negotiated, could resolve peacefully and harmlessly. But when a fight breaks out with a sibling, a person you love, something else always comes up. Another element is added to the battle field completely when this happens, and it can never completely be resolved.
In a way, fights like those, can only leave scars.
"Mokuba, you're being unreasonable!"
"You're the one being unreasonable!" Fists clenched. Deep breath.
"Please… let's just calm down for a moment."
"No!" A slight feeling of dizziness. Another deep breath.
"Mokuba-This is for your own good." A moment of silence, a brief pause in the exchange of words. The sparks almost seem gone, but then a lone lighter is dropped onto the field. The field catches fire instantly.
"…You sound just like him." Mokuba ran out of the room without another word. Seto stood there, speechless. His body seemed to have entered a state of shock; he could feel a cold chill running down his back. Seto knew exactly who Mokuba was referring to. Without giving a name, Seto could tell any day who Mokuba would've been talking about simply by the way he had said it with his teeth gritted and his eyes pained. And the idea, just the mere thought… frightened him.
Gozaburo Kaiba.
There was not another man on this planet that Seto hated more, which was saying a lot, considering how many people Seto DID hate. The man was his deceased step father, the man who took Seto's life and had completely warped it into something new, something much more terrible. The short six years Seto had been forced to spend with that man was enough to completely change who he had been for the previous ten years.
Gozaburo had taken what innocence Seto had and threw it away, never to return again. Even after his death, somehow, his evil spirit remained. The ghost of Seto's step father was an unspoken subject that silently haunted the Kaiba Family behind closed doors, until today.
Seto walked back over to his desk and sat down, slumping into his chair. His eyes didn't even glance at the computer screen that seemed to have twenty documents, all opened at once, waiting for Seto to approve of.
No… Seto couldn't look at them. Not now. Not with what had been said. Seto remained motionless in his seat, never attempting to move, his mind wandering into the dark regions of his mind. Every second a new question would arise, a new worry, a new folly to analyze and understand.
Was he like his step father? But more importantly… why would Mokuba say something like that? Angry as he was, Mokuba was not one to subject himself to firing such a low blow at his older brother. It was unheard of. Mokuba was not one to get angry; usually he would just get depressed. But something said tonight had set him off.
"Mr. Kaiba?" Seto craned his head up from the position it had been laying limp in for nearly an hour or so now to see whom the intruder was. It wasn't very shocking to find that it was Isono standing in his doorway. Never the less, Isono was the closest thing Seto could even consider a friend. The only person he could remotely push himself to opening up to in times of need; this was one of those times.
"Will you be joining up for dinner, Sir?" Isono asked.
"Isono…" Seto said quietly, Isono stood still and watched him intently. "Is Mokuba down there already?" Isono slowly nodded, somehow already aware of the situation at hand. Seto nodded with understanding and looked away. "How is he?"
"I'm not sure he will be staying long. Something happen, Mr. Kaiba?" Seto sat up and stared at the ceiling.
"Mokuba called me Gozaburo." Isono was silent. "We were in a fight and it just came out… like that."
"There's something else… isn't there, Mr. Kaiba?" Isono asked. Seto chuckled a bit; there wasn't a chance in the world that he could fool Isono with any act. Isono had witnessed them all, and knew Seto Kaiba better than he made it off to be. In a way, it was helpful to have someone who understood him; Seto spent so much time in the real world being misunderstood that it was nice on these rare occasions to know that there was someone who knew the real him.
But the happiness of the thought faded away as the reality of the situation came back to him. Mokuba's face appeared in his mind once more, and the questions were raised in his head. His almost unreadable smile had disappeared from his face and he looked back at Isono.
"It's not just about Mokuba comparing me to Gozaburo… Gozaburo wasn't just a monster, he was the very man that ruined me and abused who I was as a person… back then. Even to this day, with all the success I have made since I took over… I can't help wondering if this is all worth it." Isono silently swallowed and nodded slowly.
"Sir…" Isono started in a calm and collected voice, "I know you like to be a man of ambivalent feelings about practically everything you have to deal with, but… if I'm not mistaken, you love this company. You love what you do, you always have. That is why you fought so hard to get it."
"I know."
"Then… what brings about these regrets?" A sigh.
"I've always known it was what I wanted… I would never want things to be any different, I feel that all those dark times under Gozaburo were worth what I got in the end; this company." Isono blinked for a moment, standing, waiting… watching. Seto got up and walked over to his friend so that they could finally stand face to face.
"The only problem is… I don't know if this is what Mokuba wanted. I'm not sure he feels the same way about what has happened over the years and what resulted in the end of all our suffering. After all… Kaiba Corp. does tend to take up a lot of my time and stress me out more than I can ever bare on most days.
"I guess… I just think that he does feel that way. Gozaburo… he turned me into a monster, and Kaiba Corp. only keeps me that way. I wouldn't take it back for the world, but Mokuba…" Seto ran his hand through his hair and shook his head, "I think he hates me for it. I think he hates me for the life I've given him, the danger I've put him into, and the suffering he had to endure during our step father's era." And there it was, the most unkindly of all things; the truth. It had finally come out, Seto Kaiba's one and only fear.
The regret he couldn't regret; and he felt Mokuba blamed him for it.
"Is that what you really think, Mr. Kaiba?"
"I've never asked Mokuba if it's true, but it's what I believe…" Isono was skeptical of Mokuba's feeling truly being that way. He had practically watched the boy grow up, and Mokuba adored his older brother. There was never a period in time where his love for Seto ever faltered. But Isono would say nothing, still. It wasn't his place to advise his higher up, even if the two of them had somewhat of a mutual friendship.
"What do you plan on doing about it?"
"I have to ask him."
"And when will you do that?" The fear returns in large numbers. There is nothing left to do but let out another sigh of regret.
"The day I stop being afraid of knowing the truth."
Mokuba flicked on the light without much thought or concern. He wouldn't have minded sitting in the dark, but it just seemed logical to flick on the light anyway. Mokuba walks into his room, a small plate in hand, his dinner awaiting him. Mokuba walked over to his desk and sat it down, staring at it with much less interest than his stomach would've stared at it. But there were other things on his mind.
Regret.
Mokuba winced when he thought back to the fight his brother and himself had earlier that day. That comment he had made… that hadn't been appropriate to say to his older brother at all. Mokuba was fully aware of the feelings Seto felt towards their step father, and even the feelings he wasn't fully aware of. Their step father had scarred Seto in more ways than Mokuba could ever understand, and he knew that.
Mokuba would admit it; it was a terrible mistake on his part. A slip of the tongue; a reply he had only said in anger. He hadn't really meant what he had said. Their fight had begun with Mokuba asking Seto if he could hang out with Yugi, and Seto, typically, had nothing great to say about it. Mokuba hadn't had an easy day himself, so the conversation quickly erupted into a fight and ended with those harsh words.
Mokuba picked up the piece of pizza from his plate and stared at it. Still, it seemed less attractive to him than before, even though his stomach was craving it. Mokuba placed the food back on the plate and walked back over to the door. He had to go apologize to Seto; it was the right thing to do.
Walking out of his room and down the hallway, Mokuba recited in his head exactly what he would say. It was only going to be something along the lines of, 'What I said was wrong, and I'm sorry I even said them. I didn't mean it, and I hope you forgive me.' But Mokuba would only want to speak words of perfection, even if they were apologetic. His brother was his role model, the one person he truly looked up to; he couldn't allow himself to present less than perfect work.
Mokuba's eyes brightened when he spotted Seto just coming out of his office with Isono by his side. A smile was on his face, until Mokuba had gotten a look of Seto's. Never had he looked so sad and afraid in his entire life. Mokuba quickened his pace so that he could urgently ask his brother what was wrong. Mokuba had never seen his brother like that before.
"Nii-sama!" Mokuba called, just as Seto was about to turn down the opposite way of the hallway, "Wait up!" Seto stopped and turned around, looking at his younger brother walking towards him. The thought of his brother actually hating him… the anxiety welled up in Seto's head and a lot of his heart. If Mokuba came over and started talking to him, he knew he would have to ask the question.
The one thing he feared the most.
So Seto Kaiba did the only thing he could think of doing. He ran. Just before Mokuba had walked over to him, Seto put his hand up and signaled Mokuba to stop. Mokuba, being the obedient child that he was, did so as he was asked. Seto turned away and quickly scuffed off down the hall and disappeared. Mokuba was left to wonder in his confusion.
"Nii-sama?" Seto was gone by that point. Mokuba twisted around to see if Isono was still around, but he had gone as well. Mokuba was left all by himself. Should he follow his brother and ask what was wrong?
No. By the way he had stopped Mokuba, it didn't seem like he would want to be followed. The apology would have to wait until further notice. There was always tomorrow. Mokuba nodded.
He would apologize to his brother tomorrow, and all would be well again.
The next day, Seto never came home from work. When Mokuba called, he didn't answer. Mokuba had searched the whole house thinking that he might be somewhere in the mansion, that maybe that was why he didn't pick up at work. But nothing turned up. Seto was gone.
"Nii-sama…" Mokuba said out loud to himself, looking around the last room in the entire mansion. It looked just the same as every other guest room they had. But just like the other hundreds of rooms, he had imagined walking in and seeing his brother, standing in the middle of the room, waiting for him. Instead, it seemed, there was just four walls and an empty space of broken hopes.
'What's going on, Nii-sama? You've never done something like this…' Mokuba thought sorrowfully to himself as he closed the door and walked back towards his room. Maybe he was just backed up at work, maybe there was another huge project Seto had to work on that Mokuba hadn't heard about… Seto could be very secretive when it came to a large amount of work.
'Nii-sama will come home, I know he will!' Mokuba thought to himself, bringing a smile on his face. He had to come home at some point, and Mokuba would be waiting. Mokuba decided to head into the living room, which was the closest to the front door of the house, and planted himself on the couch. He would wait in that very spot till his brother's return.
Then Mokuba could apologize! And all would be well again.
Many hours passed… but Mokuba remained. His body had finally succumbed to the sleep it craved, and left him curled up on the couch, still waiting. It wasn't until the clock struck twelve that night that Seto returned to the house as quickly as possible.
Seto had taken off his coat and hung it up, and turned around to see his brother asleep on the couch. Seto felt the anxiety come back to him; the fear he had managed to distract his mind from with work was coming back to him.
The need to ask Mokuba the question he feared most had returned.
"Isono." Isono had silently entered the room only a few moments before hand to take Seto's things up to his room, while hanging his boss a plate of dinner as well. Isono froze when Seto had addressed him and he turned his way. "Just leave that there, take Mokuba up to his room, please." Isono nodded and did as he had asked.
Seto watched in shame as Isono took up his younger brother and carried him off to his room. Seto closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He couldn't keep doing this; he couldn't keep running away from what he had to do. It was one simple question, how much more time would he need to muster up the courage to finally receive the truth?
For now, Seto just wasn't in the right frame of mind to think about it. He would have to wait for another day.
The situation never got better. In fact, it got worse. Seto stayed later and later at work; and Mokuba became more and more confused. Soon it had been nearly a week since his brother had even spoken to him, besides simple messages or excuses for his absence that he would pass along through Isono. Mokuba was worried. What did all of this mean?
Mokuba tried everything he could to try and somehow reverse what he had said, to try and get his apology across. Mokuba would tidy up his brother's office, which Seto would never even go into anymore considering he practically lived in his office at Kaiba Corp., leave notes on his brother's bed, which Seto would intern fold and put in his pocket, unable to read it for himself, draw pictures that he would work on for hours that would appeal to his older brother, only to have Seto turn his attention away and hold back the pain.
It was… painful.
Mokuba wanted nothing more than his brother to love him and be proud of him. And now it seemed like he wanted nothing more to do with him. Mokuba never enjoyed doing things that his brother forbid of him to do. But today… he would have to take action. Mokuba couldn't help coming to the conclusion that his brother hated him… and it was about time he asked.
Mokuba wanted to know the truth.
So one day after Mokuba got out from school, instead of waiting for Isono to pick him up, he left campus completely and walked towards Kaiba Corp. Mokuba was going to talk to his older brother, whether he liked it or not. He couldn't take the silence any longer.
With all this determination in his mind, he walked right into Kaiba Corp. in less time than he thought it would take to walk from his school to there. Everyone greeted him respectfully but refused to question him. They knew his position and his relation to their boss, so no one said anything. It made getting to Seto's office easier; that was for sure.
In less than five minutes, Mokuba had made it to the top floor and was standing in front of his brother's office. This was it. Mokuba took in a deep breath, grabbing the door knob quickly and pushing it open. The door slowly made its way open, and there he was. The man of honor.
Seto Kaiba.
Seto stopped everything he was doing and looked up; his heart froze when he saw who it was.
"Mokuba… I-" Mokuba was looking all around the room. It had become quite clear by the condition the office was in that Seto had practically been living there over the past week. Seto had been working the whole time he had been gone.
"You've been here the whole time?"
"Mokuba… wait…"
"…Why, Nii-sama?" The thought of Duelist Kingdom happening all over again came to mind. Was Seto going to leave him again? Was he confused about who he was? A similar situation had gone on for many weeks after Yugi had defeated Seto at duel monsters. He couldn't have his brother leave him, at least not without knowing.
"Tell me."
"…What?"
"Just say it to me, okay? Just spit it out, just get it over with, just tell me what you have to tell me so I can stop worrying and wondering and move on with my life." The desperation had overshadowed the sadness in his voice. Mokuba needed to more than anything what was really going on.
"…"
"Well?" Another sigh. The truth. A secret. The question.
"…"
"NII-SAMA!" A yell that pierced Seto's heart like no other. It was time to face the truth.
"Do you hate me for what happened?" Frozen in time; a shock for all to see.
"What?"
"Do you hate me for what happened? Do you hate me for the childhood we had? Do you hate me for getting us stuck with Gozaburo? Do you hate me for taking over this damn company? Do you blame me for everything that's ever gone wrong?" The desperation was evident, Seto's eyes were sincere, and Mokuba's face was blank. All was quiet for a moment more before Seto spoke again.
"Mokuba…" Seto's heart had already broke. His anxiety and worry… it was obvious they had been true. Mokuba was just standing there, staring at him blankly. Seto couldn't take it anymore, it was unbearable. His brother couldn't even respond; it must've been true. Seto had failed Mokuba as an older brother.
Then there was a burst of laughter.
"…Huh?" Mokuba was holding his stomach as he began laughing uncontrollably. The strange thing was… he was crying too. Sobbing; to be correct. Tears quickly began streaming down his reddened cheeks, but laughter still escaped from his throat. It was the oddest spectacle Seto had ever seen. Mokuba's laugh was jolly, while his tears cried out with exasperation. What was going on?
"Mokuba?" Mokuba sniffled and tried to stop himself from laughing/crying, but couldn't. His face was twisted and pained, but he continued to laugh. Tears were rushing down his face faster than ever just as his laughter started to settle down. "Why are you laughing?" Was the only question Seto could think of asking.
"I…" Mokuba swallowed hard and tried to hold the laughter down, wiping the tears from his face, even though more tears would come after that. "I don't know… I guess…"
"You do… then?" Seto asked, jumping to conclusions. Mokuba's laughter was completely gone at this point. It was no longer obvious that he was stifling a laugh, it was gone. The tears remained on his face, continually emerging from his eyes, one after the other.
"Nii-sama… I don't hate you. I was laughing because I was relieved!" Mokuba paused for a moment to wipe away more tears from his face, "I don't blame you for what happened… I don't think any of those thoughts. In fact, I was the one that thought you hated me." Seto stood there and blinked a moment or two before walking over to his brother. He didn't know what to say.
What was there to say after figuring out you were completely wrong and causing your brother pain as a result? How could he possibly redeem himself now?
Seto knelt down in front of his brother grimly and placed his hands on the boy's shoulders. Still there had been silence, yet Seto knew he had to say something. Mokuba spoke up once again before he could.
"I'm sorry," He said, "For saying you were like him…" Memories are imprinted in one's mind when someone they loved has hurt them. But Seto didn't remember in that moment, and didn't choose to remember when Mokuba had said that. "You're not like him at all," Mokuba continued, "You have something Gozaburo didn't have… and could never have, even if he tried."
"And what is that?" Mokuba's hand reached out and was placed on Seto's chest. Seto looked down at it for a moment, before looking at up at his brother's face.
"A heart." And just like that, Seto's opinion of himself, the statements that had always been made, the threats and difficulties… it was different. Seto had always denied the idea of being anything like his step father, but even so, he never quite knew why. He knew he wasn't like his step father, but he could never truly think of a solid reason why. And that was it. Seto had the ability to love and care for someone. He couldn't do it for a lot of people, but the fact that he could for one person… that was the most significant quality he could've ever asked for.
Seto wanted to apologize for what he had done, for all the trouble he put his brother into, and all the pain he had ever caused him to. But he was in a state of shock in that moment, and Seto couldn't force himself to say anything more than;
"Thank you." Mokuba's eyes brightened at the site for his older brother's smile. Although Seto hadn't said it, Mokuba could tell by Seto's smile that he loved him. Mokuba didn't need words to know that. He didn't need anything more than that.
Mokuba ran in and hugged his brother tightly. Seto hugged him back. For once, for a moment, it was done.
Every little thing was gonna be just fine.
A/N: So here's a one shot from the writer you were almost convinced was dead or had a hard time thinking she was still breathing. I finish this story on an odd note, with an odd feeling, and an odd facial expression on my face. I'm not sure what to say about it, or what to think. I guess all I can do is hoped that you liked it. I put a lot of heart into it, so hopefully it showed. Thanks for reading. This is dedicated to my ex step brother. Because sometimes... I need to know all is well, and that everything is going to be alright.
P.S: Might change the chapter title at some point in the future. I'm not sure I really like it. That is all for now. Goodbye!
