"Death Before Dying"
My words are as real as undying flowers
as I look into unforgiving eyes as they suck all the life out of me
that my guilt hasn't already diminished.
Your eyes seemed like blood-stained blades...
digging and slicing through the sternum of the body of trust we have worked so hard to create over our time together
...performing an autopsy
in search of any evidence that i am still the man you met so long ago.
I had no real excuse...
no reasonable explanation for the guillotine I have dropped on your heart..
for the moment I penetrated another woman
is the exact moment my back-stabbing impaled the one I considered the love of my life.
I almost...
didn't want to do it.
I knew things would never be the same the night she came over my house...
not surprised when she guides my hands upon her breast...
letting me feel her intentions crawl into my mind like lustful spiders...
stampeding across every inch of my flesh...
creating an intense tingling feeling all over my body
that both intrigued and frightened me...
intangled in their webs...
I felt there was no turning back...
maybe I didn't want to turn back.
Maybe I was okay with the risk of losing everything.
Maybe.
It excited me
But my one night of lustful intimacy resulted in the painful heart mutilating birth of bitterness inside her.
While it resulted in the slow regretful death in me
Now I am nothing but a soul-less cadaver
.A manican of flesh and bone only capable of mimicking the characteristics of something you might call "alive
When really
I am truely dead