A/N: Okay, So I just had to write this. It's based on the 4x12 promo, where Bo says "I chose you and you broke my heart." I decided to write how I would want this scene to play out, as Bo realizing that she broke Lauren's heart too. So, read it an let me know what you think!
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere I would've followed you
And I am feeling so small And I will stumble and fall
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
Lauren entered the room to find Bo sitting on her bed. The book in Lauren's hand was suddenly a lot more interesting than the look on Bo's face when the brunette turned to face her.
"What are you doing here?" Bo asked with a deflated and slightly defensive tone. lot Lauren wanted to say. I'm here because I love you, but you need to snap out of this delusion that Rainer or someone else has on you. I'm here because I don't want to see you die and will do anything to prevent that from happening. I'm here because I don't want to see you anymore. I'm here because I can't bare to be without you.
"I have something you should probably see." was what eventually came out of her mouth. It wasn't one of the things she really wanted to say, or anything that she was continuously thinking about on the way over here. Actually, she'd completely forgotten about the book until a few moments ago. Lauren walked over to the end of the bed and held up the book.
"What is that?" Bo asked, only averting her eyes to the book for a second and then looking down again.
"I found some old text in here that pertains to your current situation." Lauren spoke in her practiced professional voice, devoid of emotion. She couldn't show Bo that she still cared, that she still loved her and would do anything to protect her. She wasn't even sure if Bo still felt the same way. She seemed so invested in Rainer, continuously referring to him as "her destiny" and the love of her life. There was a time where she had thought of Bo in that way, but as time went on and more and more problems arose, she started to see that it was near impossible for them to ever be together. every time someone new came along, Bo would fall in love with them. At first she only needed to worry about Dyson; then Tamsin came along, and now Rainer, as well as the issue of her being a succubus and having to have sex with others to feed and stay healthy. There was no doubt that she still loved Bo in a way, but that love was dying down as things went on. She didn't know if it was quite possible to fall out of love, but it felt like that was happening.
"What situation?" Bo inquired, still refusing to look up.
"With the knight and Rainer. If you're his queen," she couldn't help but make air quotes at the word thought alone of Bo being in a relationship with this man she barely knew, sickened her. "then your life is in danger."
Bo finally looked up, but refused to meet Lauren's eyes. "Why?"
"May I sit?" It felt strange having to ask to sit next to the woman you love. But things weren't even lose to how they used to be. Ever since the Dawning, it's like they weren't close anymore. True the two had reconnected at the Dark Fae party that Evony had brought her to, but things were never the same between them. When Rainer came into the picture, everything went down even further. Every night since then, Lauren had to convince herself that the next morning she would wake up caring for Bo a little less, and it had happened for the most part. She'd spent more time with Dyson and Kenzi than she had ever wanted to, but soon found them to be friends. She'd also been spending a lot of time with Evony. She'd made a friend in the leader of the Dark Fae, something she never thought would happen. Every now and then she thought of Bo, wondered what she was up to. Those thoughts appeared less and less, until she heard that Bo's life was in danger.
"Yeah." Bo hesitated a little before answering. Lauren sat at the very edge of the bed, and as far from Bo as she could. She opened the book and flipped to the page she needed.
"It says here that between the warrior and the queen, one shall die." She said looking up at Bo's face. The woman's gaze was fixated on the book. "I don't know much about this woman, but from what I have heard, she is hard to kill. Which is why I'm worried about you Bo." Maybe that wasn't the right way to put things, but she was worried about her."I mean, you should worry." Lauren corrected herself. "There are a lot of people after you."
"I'm not worried. No one can kill me. I have Rainer by my side, he can tell when an attack is coming, he'll protect me." Bo replied. This hurt Lauren a bit. She looked down staring blankly at the words on the page. She wanted to say something, tell Bo that she doesn't really love him, to snap out of the spell of whatever she was under, anything. But she couldn't. That would only make things worse between the two. If she couldn't be with Bo romantically, or even as a friend, she could at least prevent her from dying. One thing Lauren knew for sure was that she wouldn't be able to handle not having Bo in her life, and she would wouldn't be able to life with herself if she watched Bo die when she could have done something to prevent it.
"I guess you really love him." Lauren said blatantly.
"Yeah, I do." Lauren felt her heart clench at this. Bo sounded sincere, she sounded the same way when she told Lauren that she loved her.
"There was a time when you felt the same way about me." She couldn't help herself from saying this. All the hurt and anger she felt were boiling over. "I felt that way about you too, until someone else came along and I had to get used to the idea that you couldn't ever stay committed to one person."
Bo's head snapped up and her eyes found Lauren's for the first time since the blond entered the room. She was angry, and her face showed it. "What? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what it sounds like Bo. You said that you loved me, and you even went against your nature to stay monogamous for me. But I wasn't enough for you. You were hooking up with Dyson, and kissing Tamsin, neither of which you wanted to tell me about. I had to hear from Tamsin herself that you kissed her and it wasn't about feeding. You blew me off on a big night for me, to go on an adventure into Dark Fae territory with her. You were so preoccupied with The Dawning and everything else that we barely spent anytime together. It felt like you were my friend, not my girlfriend. No, not even a friend, more like an acquaintance. Still, I had hope that once the Dawning was through, you'd come back to me, and we'd be closer than ever. That we'd spend more time together, and rekindle our relationship. But that never happened."
"I told you that I wanted to travel the world and do everything with you, and only you. I did love you Lauren, I never once said that without meaning it. But you're wrong Lauren, you were enough for me. Maybe not for my biology, my succubus, but for me for Bo, you were more than enough." Bo took a deep breath then added, "but that doesn't matter now. I'm with Rainer, not you."
"So you finally chose someone. How long until someone else comes along and you go with them? Let's face facts here Bo, you can never choose just one person." They were both silent for a while. Lauren not wanting to say anything else, and Bo knowing that she couldn't say anything else without letting her anger spill over san start screaming at Lauren. "I'll be going now." Lauren got up and walked toward the door. Before she could reach it, she heard Bo call her name.
"Lauren, wait." She waited for the woman to turn around before continuing to speak. "You're wrong. I did chose just one. I chose you, and you broke my heart. Shattered it into a million pieces. I tried to believe that it was just a break, but as time passed I realized that it wasn't just a break. I loved you with everything that I am, and when that night on your couch, I died a little inside."
At this, Lauren was more than done. She laughed sarcastically. "Really Bo? Really? That's how we're going to play this?"
"You didn't let me finish." Bo cut in. "You broke my heart that one night, but I've broken yours so many more times. When I told you I had sex with Dyson to heal, not going with you to that award ceremony, finding out that I kissed Tamsin, and countless other times." Lauren was shocked. Bo was finally admitting the mistakes she had made. She knew all the times she had broken Lauren's heart and was saying them out loud to her. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I know I hurt you, a lot, I didn't deserve you. I never wanted to hurt you Lauren, please believe me."
"Bo...I know that you apologized, and realized what you did, but it's not good enough. Words can't change the past. You can't undo it all with an apology." She turned to walk away again but was stopped when Bo grabbed her arm.
"Do you still love me?" Bo asked sternly.
"What?" Lauren knew the answer but she didn't want to admit it out loud.
"Do you still love me? Just please answer it honestly." Bo tried again.
She hesitated a moment before answering. "Yes." Lauren wanted to say no. To make Bo feel the pain that she had when she saw the brunette with Dyson, or Tamsin, or Rainer. A small smile slowly crept on to Bo's face.
"I shouldn't, but I do. That's part of the reason why I came here today. I don't want you to die Bo, and I needed an excuse to see you."
"Thank you." Bo said quietly.
"Why does it matter anyway? You're with Rainer now. He's your 'destiny', remember?" Lauren said the last part a bit sarcastically.
Bo nodded. "I am, and I know you don't forgive me, and I know that I can't change the past. Sorry isn't always enough, but I think what we need to do is talk. If not for any other reason, than at least to get closure. Talk about Taft, what happened while you were away, Karen. I want that to happen, just you and me sitting down to talk. No more delaying it."
"I don't know Bo. It wouldn't make much of a difference at this point."
"Lauren you should know something. I may be with Rainer now, and I do love him. But I will never love anyone as much as I did you. I gave you my heart a long time ago, and I still haven't gotten it all back yet. I don't think I ever will. Just please promise me that we will have a talk. I still care about you, and I'm so sorry that I messed everything up between us."
As much as she wanted to deny it, Lauren still loved Bo. Hearing everything that Bo had just said, made her hope that maybe, one day, they would be together again. That hopefully soon, this Rainer thing would be over and Bo would be back to herself again, and they would reconcile. "Okay. We will talk as soon as possible. When all this is done, and if you're still with Rainer, and still want to talk, then you come find me and we will. I promise." With that, Lauren started walking out of the room. After a few steps she heard Bo's voice again.
"I do still love you Lauren. Don't ever doubt that." Without turning to face Bo, Lauren just nodded and replied, "I know." Though before today she couldn't say she did know. She wasn't sure if Bo felt anything at all for her, seeing as she'd totally blown off her, and anyone else that cared about her for this man she barely knew. But after the small talk they just had, Lauren's ever lying fear that Bo no longer loved her, had been put out. They did need to have that talk, like Bo said, no more delaying it. Now Lauren just had to hope that soon, things would be back to how they used to be before the Dawning. With them together and happy. That there would be no competition, no one to worry about but themselves. No interference from Dyson, or Tamsin, or Rainer. Just Bo and Lauren, those were the only two people who would be in that relationship. Lauren walked out of Bo's place with a renewed confidence. She would keep fighting for her girl until Bo told her to stop.