"I keep pepper-spray in my pocket."
"I have a compartment in my suit devoted to granola bars."
"There are like 20 sticks of gum in my boot."
"And here I thought you just kept sticks in your ass."
"Shut up, Baywatch. I'm one ahead."
"Fine. There are licorice whips hidden in my hair."
"Prove it."
"See?"
"Eeeeugh… that's disgusting!"
"Like your breath? Oh, I figured out why you have so much gum now!"
"Two words. Pepper. Spray. Don't forget them."
"I have a collection of Lucky Charms boxes under my bed. 50."
"…and you're proud of that?"
"Yep."
"You would."
"I have a switchblade in my backpack."
"You could get arrested for having that at school, you know."
"Hiking backpack, not school."
"I didn't know you hiked, Arty!"
"Don't call me that. And I don't, I just work with a team of superheroes. Lot of hiking involved, I hear."
"I have kryptonite in my belt."
"Nobody asked you, Rob."
"I also have gummy bears."
"Dude! Not! Now!"
"And sidewalk chalk."
"Somebody stop him."
"And mustard gas pellets."
"I don't know, this is pretty entertaining."
"Shut up, Artsy Fartsy."
"And a teddy bear."
"Artsy Fartsy? Seriously?"
"Dude, you have a frigging teddy bear?"
"And a bunch of painkillers."
"A teddy bear. You're kidding me."
"And knives, nunchakus, a tranq gun…"
"A TEDDY BEAR."
"Yes, pay attention. Anyway, and I also have a notepad of signed excuse notes for school…"
"What kind of a thirteen-year-old carries a teeny-tiny beanie-baby teddy bear in a utility belt?"
"Hey, take it easy on the interrobangs. And I do. I keep a teeny-tiny beanie-baby teddy bear in a utility belt."
"Why?"
"Interrobangs, Wally! Stop abusing them!"
"But whyyyyyyy?"
"Because crying hostages. That's why. Also, I snuggle with him at night. His name is Cuddlesworth."
"Dude."
"Hey, can I have some of those excuse notes?"
"Uh, no."