Chapter 1

He was looking at me. I could feel it. He was staring at my face and how to sweat was dropping from my face. I sat there, my knees attached to my chin. I looked him in the eyes after a few seconds. A soft smile appeared on his face. It was a sweet, soft smile that most people would call 'cute'. I smiled back and decided to sit next to him on the bench.

'Do you know all chorography?' I asked him. He was still smiling.

'Yes, I studied the difficult parts and now I quite know it all. Just need to practice a few times. What about you?'

I laughed. 'It will take me ages to know these difficult dances by heart,' I replied. 'You are good at dancing, Yunho. I am not.' I gave him a wink.

'But you're trying really hard.' He put his arm around my shoulder. 'You are a good dancer, no doubt about that. Hey,' he poked me in my cheek, 'having a bit of faith in yourself wouldn't hurt, you know.'

'I know…,' I murmured.

'Well, shall we go home? The others finished dancing too.' I nodded.

Together with my four other members of our South Korean boy band 'Dong Bang Shin Ki', aka Tong Vfang Xien Qi (TVXQ) in China and Tohoshinki in Japan, we sat down on the chairs around the dining table. I made dinner: noodles with some tofu and vegetables. An easy meal. Changmin whined about being hungry when we arrived at our apartment. He asked me to cook something easy, because I am the one who cooks most of the time. As a mother, I looked at the satisfied faces of the members. All mouths were full. My head turned left to our leader of the group, Yunho. Yunho was in a fight with some noodles which fell down from his chopsticks. I laughed at him quietly.

Junsu and Yoochun decided to play on the X-BOX after we finished eating. Yunho always helped me with doing the dishes. Changmin went to his room and locked the door. That kid always likes to be alone, but I feel that somehow he needs us around him.

Changmin is the only one to have a room for himself. Junsu and Yoochun share one and me and Yunho. I don't mind sharing a room, Yunho is a nice roommate. However, we often change roommates.

'What are you thinking about, Jae?' I turned my head and saw Yunho standing next to me with the towel in his hands. 'You've been cleaning that one single cup for five minutes now.' He grinned, but directly became serious. 'Is something wrong?' I shook my head.

'No, everything's fine.' Yunho looked at me, giving me the impression that he did not believe me.

'If there is something wrong, tell me okay? I am sure the five of us can solve your problem.' He was being the leader, doing his job. He was an honest leader. I knew these words came right from his heart.

'I know that. Thank you, Yun.' I smiled to him.

It turned around twelve 'o clock when all five of us decided to go to bed. We brushed our teeth after fighting who was in the bathroom first and said goodnight afterwards.

I changed myself in t-shirt and pulled the sheets over my cold body. Yunho came into the room and changed his clothes too. I closed my eyes, knowing that every member would be dreaming soon. We were together, that was most important to me. I opened my eyes a bit, looking at Yunho, who was laying two meters away from me in his own bed. He was already asleep. I had always been surprised how fast Yunho could fall asleep. There was the o-so manly leader: he had his mouth wide open and his Bambi plushie near his head. It was a funny sight.

I couldn't sleep that easily. My head was full of new ideas for songs, thoughts about everything you could imagine and sometimes even lyrics of our songs. I was always busy in my head.

Our band was founded in 2003 by S.M. Entertainment. We were rookies, I was only 17 years old. We were just unknown people who wanted to sing and dance. The five of us have been working for three years now, and look at us. We even debuted in Japan last year. I couldn't help to feel a bit proud of ourselves.

Sometimes I asked myself if the others thought about these things as well. Memories of the past. Some were good, some were bad.

I know my members really, really well. Junsu is the cutie with the wonderful voice. We often call him a dolphin, due to his high singing ability. He gives us a good feeling and sets the mood with his jokes. Just like Yoochun, by the way. He really is a clown, knowing exactly the right time to make joke. There is also this other side of him. You can talk with him for hours about a problem or something seriously. He always listens.

And then Changmin. The maknae, also known as baby, of the group. Changmin is the youngest and the tallest. He is a good-looking guy, just like all the others. He is terribly good at teasing. Normally I would tease him when we were younger, but now it's the opposite. I am the one he likes to tease the most. But I don't mind. He is fun, I couldn't do without him. Last but definitely not least is Yunho. Jung Yunho. He is the leader of our boy band. Helping us with everything, there is nothing Yunho can't do. Yunho has lots of responsibility as the leader. I often want to help him, but then he says he will be fine. I am the eldest, but I always felt like Yunho was, instead of me.

Yunnie is the member I know longest. We met in 2001, even before our debut. We were like… yeah, how do you call it… gangsters, maybe? Well, a really light form of gangsters. Sloppy boys. I already liked him then, he was friendly and nice. After meeting a few times, I didn't see him again, until we met at S.M. Entertainment when we became trainees. It was good to see him again.

The other members I know just from the day we started to practice hard. We were lively children, little Changmin was only 15.

Sometimes I wished we could go back in time. Each day full of expectations and waiting for us to make our debut.

I heard Yunho getting out of his bed. It was likely he had to pee. I rolled over to look at the time on the alarm clock. It was two 'o clock.

After a few minutes of silence, the sound of a flushing toilet was heard and Yunho tiptoed back to our room. He was being really quiet, trying not the wake the other members.

'Did I wake you?' Yunho asked me when he saw my eyes were open.

'No, I was already awake. Can't sleep.' He laid down, turned his body in my direction and put the sheets back on him. I yawned.

'You're too busy in your head, Jaejoongie. The motherly thoughts about our members are troubling you again?' He saw right through me. I was a bad liar, so I did not deny it.

'Ye-,' I began.

'I can see it,' he said and chuckled, not even waiting for my whole answer because he already knew. 'You need to get enough rest. Our whole week is planned full of activities. At 11 'o clock we need to film Heroine 6 tomorrow.'

'It's all really busy. Oh, I wished we could do something together with the five of us. Like last time in Disneyworld in Tokyo. It made me feel so happy.'

'Yes, it made me feel good too. It was definitely fun,' Yunho said and in the dark I could sense his smile that he had on his face. 'I will ask the manager to plan something like that for us again.'

'You will?!' I asked surprised.

'Only if you promise me you are gonna sleep now.'

'Promise!' I squealed. He laughed.

'I am sure he will plan something like that if I ask for it. Otherwise I will plan it on my own,' he kept laughing.

'I'll make it a promise too then.' He held out his hand and I replied it with a handshake.

'Thanks, Yunnie.'

A/N

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