I was thinking, and I realized that most of the stuff I've been writing is really light and I really need to write something dark, just to show I can, and cause I just feel the need to write this. If you can't take reading self harm then don't read this.

Trying to find air to breathe again and only surrender will help you now.

I slammed my room's door. My veins buzzed, knowing what would come. I breathed heavily and slowly walked to my night stand drawer. I opened it softly, calmly. I looked at the contence. A razor, just one, cleaned with alchol, put in fire, and cleaned again with achohol between uses. I went to the iPod dock Lissa had given me I scrooled through my iPod and found the perfect song. Again, by Flyleaf. I put it on a loud endless repeat. I took the razor in my right hand, and sat down of my bed. The adrenaline made every movement almost painfully sharp, every sound like nails on a chalk board, every smell clear. The sweaty smell of my room mixed with that of Lissa's perfume. With my left hand, I raised my jeans to my mid-calf. I removed my shoe, then took off my sock, reveiling all the not-quite-healed previous cuts. I took a deep breath and lowered the razor horizontally to my ankle. When the cold metal touched my skin, I squeezed my eyes shut, Whore, I pressed the razor down. Slut The subtle stinging was made sharper by the adrenaline, but still, it didn't hurt enough to drown out all the doubts in my mind, the voice that would not quiet. Couldn't even save yourself. The voice said woefully. I pressed harder. My jaw tightened in pain, and I felt some blood on my leg, still, I couldn't stop until I was numb.i breathed out deeply. With the inhale, I pressed harder. I had to fight every instinct I had to scream. Still not enough, I had to get numb. Only a little harder. The blood was pouring from the cut. I couldn't find air anymore. I dropped the razor onto the carpet. I was numb, now, I couldn't feel the pain. Now, I could survive.

So close to me that you almost died...

First, for any one who cares, you can follow me on twitter at NotEmoJustWeird. Two, Yes, I can write darkly. I've actually written darker. So review cause you are drawn to darkness like me...