Trigger Warnings: Hints at a possible eating disorder. Nothing way too strong or explicit.
Izaya Orihara was an odd person.
Granted, Shizuo had known this fact when he went into the relationship (God he still couldn't believe he was using that word with the flea). Izaya had always been a weird and unpredictable person, even when they had been attending Raira. The only real predictable thing about him that Shizuo could pin was the fact that he was a major asshole and if Shizuo happened to see him in his general vicinity… that most likely meant something terrible was about to befall on him. Still, even with the knowledge that Izaya was a fucking weirdo, Shizuo still found himself caught off-guard at times by Izaya's abnormal habits and frustrated by the flea's lackluster explanations on why he did such things.
Like for example, Izaya seemed to have a strange fascination with food. That would've been okay, but the fascination didn't come from making food or wanting to eat food or even enjoying food. No, the interest seemed to center around what foods people around him were eating. Not only that, but he liked to analyze how they cooked and prepared their food as well. It had taken Shizuo a while to notice this habit, as Izaya's ticks were very subtle and hard to detect if he wasn't paying attention. When he finally did start to notice though, he couldn't help but now notice how every time they went to a restaurant how Izaya's vermillion-red eyes would flicker over to their neighbors table to see what they had on their plates. It was distracting in a way.
One day, he simply couldn't take it anymore and he asked Izaya why the hell he did that. He really didn't know what kind of answer he had been expecting in the first place, but he certainly hadn't expected Izaya to spit out… that.
"I've learned over the years that you can get a good first read on people by seeing what they eat and how they present their food…"
Seriously, what the fuck kind of answer was that? Certainly not a normal one. Who the hell judged people based off of their food? Izaya did apparently. He had been stuck at the time trying to articulate how convoluted that explanation was, but his expression must have expressed his feelings better than he could in words as Izaya had immediately bristled and gotten defensive.
"It's true, Shizu-chan… not like you would understand. But people's food usually can give me a good idea about them…" Then because this was Izaya who had to turn everything into a jab, he smirked at Shizuo and said with a nod, "Like the fact that you eat nothing but sweets and junk and when you have to make your own food you just slap it on a plate uncaringly shows how childish you are, Shizu-chan, if you want an example."
Asshole.
Normally such a comment would've gotten Shizuo mad enough to start throwing things at Izaya… but as their relationship had progressed, he learned to slow down his temper a little bit more. He wasn't perfect but he could at least take a few jabs before flying off the handle. At some point during his progress, Izaya must have rubbed off on him more than he originally thought because he had actually gotten slightly better at verbal quips.
"So you being so addicted to that bitter coffee and tuna of yours explains why you're such an asshole?"
Every time he managed to shoot back a decent verbal quip back at Izaya, he would see mixed in the annoyance of Izaya's expression was a bit of pride. He saw that glint in the flea's eyes as the raven simply shrugged and said, "Maybe." He swore he saw the hint of a smile play at Izaya's lips which the flea decided to cover up by taking a sip of his coffee.
He also quickly found out in their relationship that Izaya seemed to have a strange penchant for watching little kid shows. He certainly hadn't expected that. Not that ever really wondered what Izaya watched on television, but he supposed he figured if the flea were to have the TV on, he would just be boring and watch documentaries and news stations, claiming that cartoons and fictional shows were a waste of brainpower. Well, he was somewhat right. Once in a blue moon, when Izaya decided to watch TV, he would usually have it to a news station or something… but if he happened at the right time, he would see Izaya entranced by a colorful kids cartoon. And he called Shizuo childish…
When Shizuo caught him another time watching one, he had asked why Izaya watched this stuff and the flea had only blinked up owlishly, as if he couldn't comprehend why Shizuo was asking in the first place, before simply shrugging and saying, "I dunno, it's fun to watch?" before turning back to the television.
He guessed that was all he could expect.
He also knew Izaya had a particularly scary habit of playing around with his switchblade, absentmindedly twirling and weaving it around the gaps of his fingers as he was reading paperwork or talking casually to him. How the informant still had all of his fingers intact still was beyond Shizuo. All he knew was that watching Izaya do that made even someone of his strength like him cringe and flinch until finally he couldn't take it anymore and he snapped at the raven to stop. Izaya would always looked surprised, as if he hadn't actually realized he had been doing it, but Shizu couldn't help but have the sneaking suspicion that Izaya knew exactly what he was doing and he just wanted to watch Shizuo squirm. That was a very Izaya-like thing to do after all. Or maybe that was just the old mistrust and animosity of the past rising from the grave to give its input, who knows? Either way, he still braced himself for the day Shinra called him saying that he had to sew the stupid bastard's finger back on.
Izaya had so many odd habits… but there was only one that actually made Shizuo angry and concerned. That being Izaya's odd obsession with his weight.
Why the flea was even concerned about it was beyond Shizuo. If anything, he thought that the flea was too skinny for his own good. He had learned the hard way during their cuddle sessions that Izaya's elbows were so sharp they could probably cut glass and that when he held the flea in his arms, he couldn't help but find him fragile. He would never admit that out loud of course as he was sure if he said that Izaya would whip out his switchblade and prove how not fragile he actually was, but he still couldn't help the thought from trickling in his head every now and then. Couldn't help but think how if he just squeezed a little too tightly, Izaya's entire rib cage would snap under the pressure it had been made of nothing but toothpicks. He knew for a fact that the bastard could use some meat on his bones anyway. If Izaya so much as stretched, the outline of his ribs would pop through his skin and when he ran his hands down Izaya's body, he could feel feel how Izaya's shoulders and hips seemed weirdly protruded.
This he had caught on rather early in their relationship and Shizuo had made it somewhat of a personal mission to make sure the moron would take care of himself and actually eat a proper amount of food. He was proud to say that most days, he seemed to insure that Izaya got his required three meals. However, even though he had that victory under his belt, Izaya remained the same size. Whether it was due to his extremely healthy eating habits or the fact that their chases in Ikebukuro burned any calories that entered his body or his metabolism was just THAT strong, Shizuo didn't know. All he knew was that Izaya was at a weight where he didn't need to worry about feeling bad.
He'd called Izaya out on it before but Izaya had simply blew him off by airily explaining it was merely a control thing. That he liked being on top of something and seeing how well he could fluctuate his own body weight.
"You wouldn't want me to get fat, right, Shizu-chan?" Izaya had said at the time.
Shizuo had dropped it at the time, knowing once Izaya was convinced of something, trying to get him to see otherwise was nearly impossible. The louse could be more stubborn than a mule at times. Shizuo supposed he could relate to that. He wasn't the easiest person to deal with it either, and he supposed if Izaya didn't get to worryingly thin levels, then he didn't have to monitor the damn flea like a babysitter.
But one night, after the two of them had fooled around a bit in the shower and had finished up actually getting clean, he watched as Izaya immediately dried himself off and hopped on the scale. He doubted Izaya even realized he was doing it in front of Shizuo, as it didn't have that infuriatingly deliberate manner and demeanor Izaya usually had when he was purposely trying to tick Shizuo off. This was probably a ritual at this point. Still, even with Izaya's confusing "control" explanation in his mind and the reminder that this was probably just an ingrained habit… Shizuo couldn't help the blistering rage that hit him and he felt the toothbrush that was in his hand snap in half from his grip.
That was it.
Padding up quietly behind the flea, who was too absorbed in looking down at the numbers… he quickly grabbed Izaya, who let out a yelp of surprise, and lifted him into his arms, bridal style. Izaya had immediately gotten mad, protesting and trying to squirm out of Shizuo's arms but to no avail, he was trapped.
Once he accepted the fact that he was just going to have to let Shizuo tote him to where he wanted, he said, "What is this about, Shizu-chan? Are you truly not satisfied, beast? Gonna eat me in my bedroom or something?"
Shizuo just grunted and said, "You're nothing more than string bean, don't need to look at the damn scale…"
Izaya had merely sighed at the time, relaxing in Shizuo's grip but running a hand through the blond's hair as he murmured, "Shizu-chan would be the type to still be worried about that…"
Shizuo merely let out another grunt as he carried them over towards Izaya's bedroom, mentally reminding himself to destroy that scale later… even if it meant that tonight he'd probably have to spend the night at his own apartment.
A/N: Woooh, it's been a long time since I've written for this fandom. My most popular fanfiction is actually a Durarara! fic so that is cool. Even after all these years, I still really like Shizaya and since I've been going back and rereading a lot of my old favorite fics, I decided to give my own contribution to the fandom, so I hope you enjoy. This was a fun one to write.
All of these habits btw are stuff Izaya actually does~! I looked it all up on his Wikia so if you thought one of them seemed OOC or something blame the character not me. Lol.
As always, critique is wanted and appreciated.