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Game of Thrones is owned by George R.R. Martin
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"WHERE IS MY MEAT SALAD!?"
(Wherever we are, it's definitely not Pandora…)
Krieg made his way through the forest, wondering how the hell he got here. He remembered one of his friends going down, rushing to them and…
…and trading places with them.
(Maybe this is heaven?)
"GRRAAARGH!"
(…For me, anyways. But I should've just revived, so why…)
"Halt!"
A woman wearing armor stepped out in front of him, brandishing a large axe.
"Who are you, and why are you in these woods?"
(Tell her you need help, that you're lost and need to find your friends.)
"I need help… PAINTING MY MEAT PORTRAITS!"
The woman frowned and charged him. Krieg raised his own axe-
(STOP! Do not hurt her!)
Krieg's head twitched as he lowered his arm, dodging out of the way of the woman's strikes. He kept dodging out of the way for a good five minutes until he saw a bunch of people come out of the brush. They were all filthy, and carried rusted or crude weapons.
(Damn it, this is just like… wait that's it!)
He ducked a strike aimed at his head, and the axe buried into a tree.
(Remember Maya?)
"STRIP THE FLESH!" Krieg nodded.
The woman struggled to pull the axe from the tree, and one of the men slowly made his way towards them.
(NO, the other thing you said!)
"SALT THE WOUND!"
The woman let go of the axe, drawing her dagger, and the man aimed his sword at the back of her unprotected head.
(KRIEG!)
Krieg clutched his head, "GRARGH!" Then reared his arm back, "TURN AROUND, PRETTY LADY!"
Brienne leaned out of the axe's path, and she watched in surprise as it planted itself in a hillman's head. The crazy man ran past her, leaping onto the hillman's shoulders and pulling his weapon out as he leaped off again. She turned to watch him rush into a group of hillmen, and she looked down at her dagger.
"HAHAHA! "
She looked up to see him standing among corpses, and someone raising their blade behind him…
*gurgle*
Krieg turned around to see another man with a knife sticking out the left side of his neck. He looked over to see the woman with her arm outstretched. He looked back to the man clutching at his neck, and he brought his axe down on his head. When he pulled it free, the woman walked up to him, looking him up and down.
(Say 'thank you for saving my life'.)
"You unhooked my meat puppet… and made him conga!"
She raised an eyebrow, "…You're welcome."
(…Huh.)
"What is your name, stranger?"
(DO NOT-)
"I'M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!"
The woman stared at him before kneeling down and pulling her dagger from the dead man. Krieg looked over to where her axe was still planted in the tree, and went over to it. He ripped it free with no problem, and he handed it to her. She took it and nodded.
"I am Brienne of Tarth. I invite you to my camp."
Krieg's head twitched, and he nodded.
With that the two of them set off back towards her camp, leaving Krieg to wonder what new meat awaited him…
AN: Not sure if this is a one-shot or if I'll continue with this.