They think he stands for justice, idiots.
He blindfolds me and helps me to my feet. So very gentle right now, I know it's only momentary though. I can hear metallic clacking of tumblers as he turns the key in the lock. Then he's gripping my arm and leading me out. I hiss in pain as my shoulder hits the bars of my cell on the way out. He grips my arm a little more tightly and I am silent. He finds humor in my pain, but soon enough I will find humor in his death. It's a few moments of silence before a cry of pain leaves me once more. My toes connect with a concrete step and I cannot stop the small whimpers that follow.
"Oh I'm sorry Light-kun," his smug voice fills me with hatred. "There's a step there." I tremble with my anger and he continues guiding me. This time he moves behind me and I can feel his breath on my neck. He grips my other arm and I am weary. But he only leads me through a doorway and I feel relief when he moves back to his position next to me. "More steps," he murmurs. And we begin out ascent. He does not feel it is necessary to let me know that we have come to the top stair and I stumble, falling too my knees. "Light-kun," he murmurs softly, "You are so clumsy." I grit my teeth but keep my silence lest he turn us around and put me back in my cell.
The carpet is soft and lush beneath my knees. Much better than the hard concrete of my cell. To think of how many things I would take for granted in my everyday life. This time he is more rough when helping me to my feet. He likes to see me humiliated. No, that is not right, he likes to see Kira humiliated and human. He moves behind me once more and for a moment I can feel his breath on my ear and it sends a chill up my spine, both fear and exhilaration. I move through one more doorway and the carpet turns to cold tiles, still more pleasant than concrete.
I jolt when I feel his hands on my ankles, I force myself to relax, he is only taking off the shackles around my ankles. I breath a sigh of relief as he slips off my blindfold, and I am briefly startled to see his black eyes so close to mine. He moves behind me and I shiver as he runs his hands from my shoulders down to my wrists bound behind my back.
"Now Light-kun," he says, his voice a ghost of whisper and his warm breath pleasantly caressing my ear. I hate the desire that courses through my veins. It's not me, I tell myself, it's simply my body. "I need you to be good. If you are not, then you will not get this chance again." My wrists are free and I breathe a grateful sigh of relief. I begin to move them to the front of my body and grunt softly as his hands grab my wrists, pulling my arms back to their previous position. "Say it Light-kun, tell me you will be good."
"I-I will be good." I hear a soft chuckle and he releases me. I stretch my arms and groan. It feels so good to move them again. I look at my surroundings and feel a flit of happiness run through me. It's a bathroom, shower included. I begin to pull off my shirt pausing when my midriff is revealed. I continue with the motion and then turn to him. "You are staying to watch me," it's not quite a question, not quite an observation either. He nods briskly, a sardonic smirk curving his lips. Of course he is. Can't let me out of his sight lest I kill again. I am conscious of his eyes on me as I slide my legs out of my pants. I glance back at him and my stomach feels like it's in knots. He is watching me with the strangest gleam in his eyes.
"Continue, Light-kun." I obey. I do not want to return to my cell as filthy as I left it all because I watched him too long. I think he enjoys this, having this power over me. I wonder at the human contact he has had. Wonder if he has ever been involved with anyone else and if this is why he enjoys controlling me so much. Or perhaps he is just a sadist. I turn the water on, check the temperature. It is hot, the way I like it. There is no curtain, no privacy. He will watch my every move.
I step into the shower and can't hold back a gasp of ecstasy as the hot water beats against my skin. It causes gooseflesh to rise all over my body. I brace myself on the wall with the shower head, giving myself a few moments to enjoy the heat. All too soon reality comes back to me and I remember that I need to shower. I do not know if I have a time limit and would like to be completely clean before we go back. I move quickly, soaping up a washcloth and begin with my arms, moving to my underarms and chest.
"Light-kun," his voice is sharp and cuts through the sound of pounding water. I look to him, feeling a light blush rise in my cheeks. He is watching me wash myself. "There is no hurry," he says to me, giving me an almost indulgent smile. "It is only you and me tonight, I have given everyone else the night off." I am surprised, why would he do such a thing. Why would everyone agree to take the night off? Unless… he is lying and actually gave himself the night off, but then he himself would be caught on the cameras. So he's not lying… Did he trick everyone into taking the night off?
The small smile has disappeared from his face and I realize that instead of looking grateful I am watching him with a very calculated look. I hadn't even realized that my expression had changed.
"Thank you, Ryuzaki. I am very grateful," I try my best to convey how honored I am by this great, if not strangely executed, act of kindness. His eyes study me for a long moment before he nods that he's heard my thanks. When I don't move he glances away, pretending to give me privacy, but I know, there's no way he'd truly discontinue surveying me.
I have to soap the washcloth again, all the suds having washed off while L and I were interacting. I take my time now washing my body, being to sure be especially thorough. I finish with my feet, that almost seemed stained black from the constant contact with the floor. When I am done I rinse out the cloth and hang it up. As I begin to look for shampoo I am suddenly shocked to see a pale hand in my vision. I give a shuddering breath as I realize that he's handing me the shampoo bottle. I begin the process of washing my hair and have to bite back a moan. It feels so good, the lather in my hair, my fingers scrubbing my scalp. I turn back to the spray and rinse out my hair. I give a soft sigh of bliss. Even in this Hell that I've willingly locked myself in this, almost insignificant, moment makes it bearable.
My bliss is suddenly cut short. There is a burning pain spreading across my scalp and I am suddenly looking up at the shower head. I have to catch my breath, and I realize it's because my chest was slammed into the cold shower tiles. There is a wet hip pushing into my lower back and one of my arms has once again been restrained behind my back. It takes my addled brain a moment to process what has happened.
"Ryuzaki, what are you doing?" He makes a strange humming sound in his throat and pushes harder against me, causing the pain in my chest to grow. I do my best to keep silent now, obviously speaking has agitated him. The pain in my head is almost bearable when I arch my neck and back, but it causes my breathing to labor as it's hard to get air, and the little spray that Ryuzaki doesn't block isn't helping my condition. My brows knit together as the pain grows and he slackens his grip on my hair allowing me more room to breath. I gasp for air greedily.
"Do you know how beautiful you are, Light-kun?" There's a cold sensation running down my spine and it takes me a minute to realize it is not a tactile. I am scared, very scared. He was not lying about having let everyone go, not if this is what his true intentions for tonight were. "You must realize that if you do not obey me, I will return you to your cell and whatever you tell them I will simply deny. Who would believe you, after all? You are the most believable to be Kira as it is now." And it is not fear that spreading through me now, it is sheer terror. I do not want to be here, but would I rather be in my cell?
Yes. But struggling right now would only lead to more pain. What will he do to me if I tell him I don't want any part of this? Will he simply throw me back into my cell? Or will he still go through with whatever he's planned.
"What happens if I say no?" I dare to question him. I cannot make this decision without knowing whether or not the outcome is the same. I hear a dark chuckle from him and he releases my hair to stroke gentle fingers down my neck.
"You are quick," he sounds pleased. "I will be gentle if you say yes," he places a soft kiss to the back of my neck. A shudder runs through me, both disgust and desire. "If you say no," he bites into my shoulder and I am surprised to the point of crying out, "I will do as I please."
"Yes, yes I will do as you want." The words have left me before I even have a chance to think it through. I grit my teeth and lower my gaze, trying to hide the varying emotions I feel from him. The strongest I feel is betrayal. Perhaps I don't have the right to feel this way since I do plan to kill him once the opportunity presents itself. Even so, I wouldn't have ever violated his trust in me like this.
His fingers trail down my spine and I can't help the sobs that rip from my chest.
"Light-kun," almost a reprimanding tone. And I jolt when I feel those fingers parting my cheeks. I close my eyes, eyelids in pain from how tightly I've shut them. He inserts them into me and it's uncomfortable. He begins to spread them and it becomes painful. "Admit that you are Kira and I will stop," and the comment jolts me into awareness. He is doing this to get a confession? No matter if I agree to go along with him or not he will cause me pain. And now it's anger that's making my fingers and toes itch.
He is still pinning my right arm behind my back, using it to pin me to the shower wall. I am at a disadvantage. I will have wait it out until he lets his guard down. But… how? He already knows that I don't want this to happen, that I fear it happening. Of course I refuse to confess, but… I also refuse to let this happen without at least trying to stop it. He may have caught me off guard before, but now I am thinking clearly.
And though I've decided what course of action to take, I can't help the gasps of pain that escape me. I just have to wait for something that I can use to my advantage. And thus my patience pays off. He leans away, the hand that was violating me (his left), reaching behind us. It's my move now, L. With my free left arm I pivot, nearly surprising myself when I don't slip on the wet shower floor, and use my left elbow to strike him in the stomach. He gasps painfully behind me, doubling over. I use this to my advantage and quickly step out of the shower.
I escape the bathroom only to end up in a bedroom. He really was planning to continue this until I confessed.
"Light-kun," how did he get behind my so quickly? I begin to turn around and suddenly pain blossoms, but I can't pinpoint it. I can't think…
"Light-kun, can you hear me?" Slowly my eyes open and I can see the ceiling. It's pale concrete. I am back in the cell. I give a quiet sigh, the few moments I did get out of here, the ones were I wasn't being violated at least, will tide me through until my plan goes into action. "Light-kun?" My brow narrows and I look to L, glaring at him, contenting myself with the knowledge that he will die soon enough. He sighs softly.
"I suppose this will hinder any chance we had of becoming friends."
"You think, Ryuzaki?" he scowls at me.
"No need to be so testy," he says back in a monotone. But I can tell from his voice and the way he doesn't quite meet my eyes he is regretful of his actions. It is no excuse, but… I know that once I lose my memory of the death note I will be inclined to forgive him. This could put a damper on my original plans if I become… attached to him. But once I remember again… will I be able to go through with it? Will I feel he deserves to suffer for what he has done to me after I have forgiven him?
I look back to him, he is sitting in that irritatingly queer way he always does. His black, soulless eyes looking at me, but not meeting mine. My upper lip twitches in anger and hatred. Yes… I decide, yes I will.
L,
you willdie.
A/N: So... my love was playing Resident Evil while I was trying to figure out the end of this fic and it turned out differently than planned. But I think it suits their characters more this way actually. I'm on the fence about whether or not to write more to this story. Oh and I need a beta, so if your interested PM me and let me know. Thanks to everyone who reads this, hope you liked it! And if you didn't, well... too bad I guess.