In the beginning, there was Chuck.
Shifting the car into drive, John pulled swiftly away from the prison known as school in his shining black, 1967 Chevy Impala, leaving Sam and Dean by their lonesome staring at the monstrous double doors, blinking in confusion. Their brother Adam waited patiently inside, were he had been for what seemed like servel millenias, where in reality it was just just shy of a decade.
As they made their way indoors, their youngest, favored, brother greeted the boys and guided them to their newest quest, assigned by the Queen of Moondoor: Middle School. Adam opened the creaky wooden classroom door, revealing the red haired teacher waiting expectantly inside with a generous smile gracing her fair features.
Dean's eyes trailed across her face. He could barely hear her greeting over his erratic heart.
"I love your hair. It's all so… bouncy." Dean spoke in a daze, missing the sharp, surprised look he received from Sam.
"Why, thank you!" The teacher responded. "My name is Ms. Babena. Pleasure to meet you, boys. This is my lizard, Crowley." She gestured to the green lizard on her shoulder. Its beady black eyes narrowed as he sneered at the Winchester brothers, making them shift uncomfortably.
The brothers shyly took a seat in the front row, next to what looked like a short carrot with hips and glasses, which in reality was Celeste, aka Charlie.
Reveling in the fact that their Queen of Moons was not only alive, but a child in middle school, Dean and Sam each took the free seats on either side of her, almost suffocating the clueless girl. Little did they know when taking this treacherous quest they would see their loved queen once more.
Dean held back a choking sob at the sight of Scarlett Johansson's true love and biggest crusher.
The Winchester brothers were not excited to be returning to middle school. They went through it once many decades ago, and as much as one might think, this was one age where they did not enjoy being young again.
Being four years senior, Dean was always two squared steps ahead of Sammy. Never having to work through that awkward teenage phase together, then soon regretted jumping through that wormhole. Now they were both stuck as prepubescent, voice cracking freaks, for the third time in Dean's case; and for once Sammy was struggling to reach Dean's eye level. Damn it felt good to look like the older one again, Dean smirked to himself.
Ms. Babena made her way to the front of the classroom, greetings aside and completed, she picked up a whiteboard marker and with the assistance of Crowley (throwing notebooks at the students) she began writing the intro into today lesson. Red, glossy curls bouncing happily along with her peppy step.
"Today class, we will be learning about our digestive system. For the plan I have made—to make this lesson extra special I'll be needing a volunteer. Anyone?" Ms. Babena clapped her hands together and waited patiently for any brave students.
As if on cue, Kevin Prophet Von Tran burst through doors of the classroom, no sense of grace or stability in his step. "Sorry, I am so sorry. I slept through my alarm! I swear it was an accident, I'm here now!" The bags under his eyes sagged down his face, making him look like the skinniest panda in existence.
The entire class was temporarily stunned at Kevin's sudden outburst, but quickly regained their composure. After all this was a typical occurrence. Kevin's usual classmates groaned when he started to explain again, many yelling at him to sit down.
Ms. Babena, however, smiled. "Looks like we have a volunteer!"
Most functioning, living, beings screamed as the 1964 VW Microbus made its way, shakily, in Kevin's gaping mouth, with the exception of Ms. Babena and a crooked grinning Crowley sitting leisurely on her shoulder. The lizard's iris-less eyes turned gradually towards the Winchesters as he silently hummed to himself.
Kevin cursed inaudibly, "I knew I should have stayed home today!"
The Magic MicroBus, with the slightest trouble, landed on Kevin's salivating tongue. Dean and Sam felt the bile rising up their esophagus slowly watching the squish and squirm of Kevin's neurotic tongue. Wishing desperately to
be back in their own dimension, the brothers cursed their young apprentice and new member to their strange family, Jack.
Ms. Babena moved the bus to a crawl, going ever closer to the back of Kevin's mouth, careful to point out the functions of his molars and other helpful tools in the first process of digestion. She smiled outwardly at the children's disgust, finding humor in their young, teenage minds.
"Mr. Prophet Von Tran, dear," Ms. Babena called to Kevin, smiling up at his jagged, pink pallette through the bus windows. "You may close your mouth, we're perfectly alright. Relax, darling. We have a camera a the front of the bus connected to the television I wheeled in so you don't miss a single detail." Kevin's mouth closed cautiously. As soon as it was shut, he swallowed on instinct, sending his classmates down his esophagus. Muscles contracted around the Microbus, sending it, and the people inside, slowly down into the stomach.
As the Microbus gracefully danced down poor Kevin's esophagus he felt every turn of the bus's disproportionate wheels. It wasn't long before the end of the esophagus came into sight. The bus headlights were trying with all of their 1960's might to illuminate the oncoming traffic of the stomach.
With a plop into the churning of the Kevin-tummy, Sam felt his own stomach acid jump up his throat, turning his cheeks a sickening green.
"Thank you for flying digestive airways," Ms. Babena called back to the processing children, enjoying her joke. She watched as Crowley climbed from her shoulder and hopped across the bus seats, his tail wagging as he did so, until he reached a retching Dean, who remained cursing Jack.
"When I get my hands on that Disney Prince I swear there'll be Hell to pay. Just wait 'till his father grounds him for the first time."
Sam patted his back reassuringly. Imaging how long it would take Dean to realize that this is what is happening when he eats his beloved pie. "Dean, I would rather not have to deal with Cas or Luci. Speaking of… where did Cas get the honey?" Glancing at the black haired, blue eyed beauty (whom Dean was secretly in love with) dipping a fork into a honey jar and stuffing it into Crowley's mouth.
"Don't ask. Never ask, Sammy!"
The bus floated down through the Kevin-tummy acid, not unlike the boat from Charlie's adventure in the Chocolate Factory, brought up when Dean swore he saw the golden ticket, or a least a piece of it sloshing around in here.
All students stared in awe at a whole hotdog slowly being broken down by the enzymes released from Kevin's pancreas. Bit by bit, the hotdog broke into even smaller pieces amazing the students.
A small hole opened up near the bottom of the stomach, shrinking and increasing in size repeatedly as miniscule pieces of the hotdog flowed through.
"What is that?" Charlie asked, pointing towards the opening.
"That is the entrance into the small intestine, Charlie!" Ms. Babena exclaims. She turns the bus towards the entrance to the intestine and slams the gas pedal, rocketing towards the entrance. Timing it just right, the van squeezes through the entrance and enters the small intestine.
"Welcome, class, to the small intestine where all the magic happens." Ms. Babena says, making a wide gesture with her free hand. Small bits of the already tiny pieces of food were being sucked into the intestine walls, breaking apart the non nutrient parts from the nutrients. The parts of the food that was not taken in by the small intestine continued to travel away from the bus.
"Where is it going?" Bobby asked, pulling his rootbeer colored hat higher on his head.
"It's going into the large intestine." Ms. Babena stated like it explained everything. Seeing the confused looks the students are giving her, she sighs in exasperation. She moves the bus to get a better view, showing the class the happenings in the intestines.
The liquid in the intestine was quickly sucked into the walls of the large intestine, leaving only the pieces of food that wasn't absorbed in the small intestine. The small pieces of food moved slowly through the intestine, leading into a small opening at the end.
"In the large intestine, the food you digest becomes stool. Now look at where it is headed." Ms. Babena says.
"Where is it going, Ms. Babena?" Jack 2.0 asked. Unbeknownst to Dean and Sam, Jack 2.0 was with them the entire time; from their first moment in the classroom until now. The strangest thing was most likely the fact that he remained behind the Winchesters, engaged in a riveting chat with Adam about Kevin's digestive system.
"Well, dear, it is going into the rectum. The place where all the stool is stored until ready to be removed." Ms. Babena explains.
Crowley returned, traumatized from the back of the bus, slicking along like a mad dog, frantic to escape Cas and his honey fork of death. With a great leap, the lizard managed to climb his way behind Ms. Babena's neck.
Trapped in her protective locks, Crowley hid from the Bee-crazy child. Crowley peeked his head out from behind Ms. Babena's hair and stuck his tongue out at the students, glaring at a few in particular before returning to his safe haven.
"Where does the food go from their, Ms. Babena?" Chuck asked, ignoring the weird actions of the lizard he didn't particularly like.
"Well, it goes through the anus into, hopefully, the toilet." Ms. Babena answered.
"We aren't going to go through that… are we?" Dean asked, a look of disgust clear on his face.
"No of course not!" Ms. Babena exclaims, seeming undisturbed by the question. "We are going to go back to his stomach to create a gas bubble so Kevin will burp us backup." Dean nodded.
Grabbing a hold of the wheel, ready to turn this bus ride around, Ms. Babena added a few final notes, just to make sure all the information the kids have taken in has digested. "When the deposit reaches the rectum it triggers a reflex-the signal that lets you know you have to go to the bathroom. At this point, you either eliminate the fecal matter, your poop, through the anus or it remains chilling in the rectum until you do." Ms. Babena smiled mischievously, "So remember kids, don't hold when you have to go."
The trip back to the Kevin-tummy wasn't nearly as bad on the way down as it was on the way up. True, it was slightly mucousy and more slippery moving up the digestive track, and Dean won't lie, it was like playing a real life game of pac-man inside someone's body. However they hastily made it back floating into the Kevin-tummy-acid with great success.
At this point the Winchesters (mostly Dean, because face it, Sam new all of this beforehand) barely had to hold their breakfasts in their mouths much less now rather than when they first journeyed into Kevin.
"Alright, Kevin," Ms. Babena called through the Tummy-Talkie. "I need you to go through my desk and find the carbonated water I keep in my lower drawer. I want you to drink it as quickly as you can. Doing so you'll create a gas bubble in your stomach, so when you burp… well, you get the idea, dear."
Kevin did as he was asked, chugging the water as vigorously as he could.
All the students on the bus watched the opening from Kevin's esophagus, they awaited the moment the water and the air would rush from his mouth into his stomach. There was an awkward silence, tension was high, no one dared to breath.
A rushing sound began to echo through the stomach, it was like a waterfall rushing down stream, making a loud sound when it hit the acidic waters in Kevin's stomach.
It was with a wild burst that carried the Microbus up back through the esophagus and out of Kevin's mouth, landing and skidding on Ms. Babena's desk. In front of the table, Kevin stood there with his hands on his stomach.
"I'm never eating a hotdog for breakfast again, not when I burp up my classmates."