There's something about dying that puts one's life into perspective. All the moments that you have lived do pass you by, but the ones that are most important seem to stand out. For Arthur, he saw council meetings, training sessions and previous battles in black and white. He saw the memory of proposing to Guinevere, teasing a young Morgana and the caring eyes of his mother in faded color.
What stood out to Arthur was the blueness of Merlin's eyes. The shade bright and clear in the memories that seemed to burst with color. Merlin's blind loyalty and his complete faith in Arthur's ability to be a good king shone through in his memories and filled Arthur's almost empty body with light and love.
And in that moment, Arthur felt loved. He knew that this was how he would go. In the arms of someone who had loved Arthur no matter what. He had stood by, through Arthur's harsh words, his complaints, his vulnerability. When everyone had left, Merlin had remained.
"There's something I want to say," Arthur said, through labored breaths. Merlin's determined face didn't falter.
"You're not going to say goodbye," Merlin said.
"No. Merlin," Arthur said, like he had a million times before, only this time it was desperate. A plea for the manservant that never seemed to listen to follow his orders just this once. "Everything you've done, I know now. For me, Camelot, and the kingdom you helped me build." The words held the emotion that Arthur was trying so desperately to convey. It was now. Now was the time to make sure Merlin knew how much he really did mean to Arthur.
"You would have done it without me," Merlin interrupted. Arthur huffed out a laugh, a half smile on his lips.
"Maybe," Arthur said. Because, of course he could have made a kingdom without Merlin. But that doesn't mean that he would have liked what kind of kingdom he would have built. Merlin had always been that whisper in his ear. The constant nagging of his conscience.
Arthur allowed his eyes to fall away from Merlin for a moment and his smile to fade. The realization that this was the last time he would speak to Merlin crossed his mind. These would be his last words. The last time he would see Merlin's face. This moment meant everything. He didn't allow his eyes to fall on Merlin yet. He wasn't ready for this.
"I want to say something I've never said to you before," Arthur began to feel weaker, almost as if he were floating. His eyes fell back onto Merlin and blue met blue.
I love you.
"Thank you," He said, his voice small but holding more emotion than Arthur had ever conveyed to anyone before. He hoped his eyes told Merlin more than just 'thank you', and the look on Merlin's face assured him that the warlock had understood completely. Of course he had. A hint of a smile lit Merlin's lips and it made Arthur's mouth turn up in a weak smile. If this was how he would go, it was okay with him.
His gloved hand reached up to stroke Merlin's untidy hair. The smile never left Arthur's lips as his hand fell away and his eyes shut to darkness.
Arthur heard Merlin's screams in the dark place between life and death. He could barely comprehend the warm hand on his cheek. And when he started to feel himself slip away, he allowed himself one last look. His eyes opened, unseeing, until he saw blue again. And then he was home.
His eyes shut for the final time and Merlin was gone.