Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia

"Hey England! Are you ready to get your ass handed to you?" Spain shouted over the roar of the waves. His men rushed about him, preparing his ship for battle.

"Like hell, you wine-drinking tomato bastard!" England waved his sword, eyes flashing dangerously, every bit the fierce pirate.

Spain hefted his battle-ax onto his shoulder. "Only Lovi is allowed to insult me like that!"

"So try and stop me, tomato bastard!"

Gone was the casual posture of the easy-going Spaniard. His men flanked him, weapons ready and awaiting his orders. Spain delivered his next threat, the humor gone from his silky voice.

"You had your chance to leave quietly, England. Instead, you chose to provoke me. I'm sorry we couldn't come to a peaceful conclusion. Prepare to meet your fate!"

Much to Spain's annoyance (And it takes a lot to annoy him—he does live with Romano), England just laughed, wild and proud, a green-eyed terror. "You expect me to go quietly? You should know me better than that, Spain. I assure you I shall win this, for I have a secret weapon that will leave you powerless against me!"

England thrust a hand into the air. In it was a jar filled with…something. Spain squinted, taking up his spyglass and focusing on the small object.

"Is that an ear?"

"Not just any ear!" England replied, his wild laughter loud over the waves. "But the ear of Captain Jenkins!"

Spain smacked his face into his palm. He turned to his crew.

"I'm afraid," he told them "We are screwed."

Many years later, Spain didn't even bother questioning the power of Busby's Chair.

A/N: Recently learned about The War of Jenkins' Ear. I don't know the particulars, but there was a British Captain (Robert Jenkins) who was charged with piracy by the Spanish. Supposedly, they cut off his ear as punishment or something. According to my book (some sources say differently), Jenkins pickled his ear and used it to rile people up. Of course, Spain and England were on the verge of war at the time. And you can see where my brain went with this information.