Nanoha stared at the clock, it's broad circular face telling her the time but not the time she wanted to see. The brunette sighed and lightly placed her hand over her heart. It ached. She winced and rolled over in the large empty bed, yearning for a certain blonde who was on a sixth month long mission.
Alone . . . When was the last time she had been by herself like this? Just counting the minutes and seconds until this agony was over. The woman clutched at her heart and groaned.
"Fate-chan," she called out in the darkness. That emptiness she wanted to feel it . . . anything but this pain. She squeezed her eyes shut and the grip on her heart tightened.
Nanoha, what's wrong? That husky velvety voice . . .
Fate-chan, you naughty girl, why do you make me feel like this? Why can't you come home? Why do you leave me? Always gone . . . you make me feel so lonely . . . Like before when I was that little girl sitting at home by myself. Do you want me to relive that again?
Nanoha . . .
Fate-chan hold me, make this all go away.
Nanoha.
The brunette jerked up in surprise. She had fallen asleep like that, her body facing the clock, her hand clasped over her aching chest. With glazed eyes she watched a familiar scene unfold in front of her but she felt detached from it even though she had done it a few months ago? No so so long ago . . .
"Nanoha." Warm arms snaked around a beautiful blonde's waist.
"Nyahaha," the brunette laughed into the woman's hair.
"I love that," Fate murmured, turning to face her lover.
"What?"
"Your laugh." Lips pressed against each other and tongues flashed out, hands touched and bodies moved.
"Nanoha." The firm voice was filled with determination.
Slate blue eyes stared into dejected burgundy.
"What's wrong, Fate-chan?" The blonde averted her eyes and frowned. Nanoha stiffened. She had seen that look before . . .
"Not another mission!" The brunette pulled from the comforting hold and stared at the ceiling, covering her eyes with her wrist. The creme color was pure and unblemished, no problems to speak of. She on the other hand had a big problem on her hands.
"I'm so sorry." The heart-break in the woman's voice almost crushed Nanoha's resolve. However she felt true anger course through her veins.
"For a little while, would you mind if you leave for a little while?"
Silence.
"I'm sorry, Nanoha. So very sorry." Fate lovingly kissed her brow and left. Nanoha never went to the dock. She never said good-bye when the woman who made her heart throb left for the sixth month voyage. It was funny, at the time she had been so angry but that fades after awhile. Then it's replaced with guilt, frustration, and regret. Fate had failed to mention that there were no video transmissions on her ship. It must have been the usual top-secret mission.
. . .
"Oi, Nanoha!" The ace jerked up in surprise. Vita narrowed her sharp blue eyes in frustration.
"You need to stop this. . . uh . . . moping around!" Vita growled furiously, gesticulating madly with her arms. Realizing that she was getting no response she tried a different approach.
"She wouldn't want you to be like this," she murmured softly in a rare thoughtful voice.
The brunette nodded and gave her a broken smile full of hunger and yearning.
"Do you think she is eating well, Vita-chan?" Nanoha grinned to herself. "She always had erratic meal times. I had to force feed her a few times . . ." The girl placed her chin in her hand as she rested her elbow on the cafeteria table.
Fate was still sitting at the small kitchen table, reading glasses drooping off the bridge of her nose, glaring furiously at the papers in her hands. The golden hair glinted in the dim light, sparkling like spun gold. Nanoha watched from a doorway as her loved one worked tirelessly. She didn't want to bother her. Interrupting would result in a small fight. However, leaving things alone would cause Fate to faint again at work. A sly smle quirked Nanoha's lips as she slunk off into the shadows, a perfect plan forming in her brain.
The enforcer began to nod off, her eyes fluttering open and close as she fought off sleep. Why couldn't Bardiche fight of this wretched weariness? Why . . .
"Fate-chan!" The called girl turned her head and was face first with a slate blue eyed brunette whose hands held a silver spoon filled with a red liquid.
"What is that?" Fate mumbled. She slowly pulled the glasses from her face and rubbed her eyes.
"Silly, Fate-chan. It's tomato soup. You need to eat something. You can't keep going like this." Nanoha gave her a lopsided smile and leaned forward, pressing the metal against Fate's lips.
"Now open wide and say ah."
Fate feigned exasperation but both girls knew she loved being babied. The blonde gulped down the spoon's contents and smacked her lips. She was then spoon fed an entire can of tomato soup, a certain ace of the air helping her along the whole way.
"You miss her." The words weren't phrased as a question.
"Yes. So much that it hurts." Blue sky colored eyes glazed as they stared blankly ahead.
"I-" Vita stopped and shook her head. Nothing could really help this situation. None of her scoldings and harsh words would move Nanoha from this reverie.
"I'll teach the kids today, don't worry about anything." Vita scooted from her chair and left the table with the sad girl with the broken eyes.
. . .
"Mama!" Vivio ran forward and crushed Nanoha's knees into a hug.
"Hi Vivio." Nanoha lovingly scooped her daughter up into her arms and held her close. Inhaling she could catch that faint scent of Fate, leather and lavender. The woman wondered why she was able to keep up a facade of normalcy when the child resembled Fate so much in appearance and smell.
"Ne Vivio, would you like some caramel milk?"
"Mm," Vivio mumbled as she followed her mother.
She headed toward the kitchen and began to methodically place the ingredients on the counter. Milk and caramel.
"Does Fate-mama like caramel milk?" asked Vivio, curiously cocking her head to the side.
The blonde grinned and gently pat her daughter's head.
"Well of course, it's made by Nanoha-mama." The brunette winked at Fate who returned the gesture.
"Also," Fate said in a teasing tone, "it tastes like Nanoha-mama."
"F-f-f-fate-chan!" But the blonde only smirked at her loved and gently squeazed her thigh. They had a lot of fun that night.
The two girls sipped at the drinks in front of them, no one saying a word.
"How was school today?"
"Good. I got an A on my test." Vivio shyly glanced at the rim of her glass cup.
"My my, Fate-mama will be so proud of you."
"Really, Nanoha-mama?" The child's heterochromic eyes lit up with pleasure.
"Of course." She smiled and gently pat her soft hand.
Vivio gulped down the contents of her drink and swiftly got to her feet.
"I'm going to finish my homework and study for the test next week. I don't want to get behind."
"I'll call you down for dinner," Nanoha murmured softly, the words said only to herself in an empty room. After the girl left the brunette's bright exterior melted away. Her hands balled into fists, her knuckles white.
"Fate-chan."
. . .
"That's it!" Vita's blue eyes burned with fury. Nanoha merely stared at the spot where the fork had come from.
"Oi Takamachi Nanu-Nanoha! Baka! Baka! BAKA!" The ace flight instructor slowly blinked and stared at Vita.
"You need to come down to earth. She's just a girl! Just a stupid girl who-"
"Vita-chan, please stop." Dull slate blue eyes gazed into passioned azure.
"It's just been five months. I can't take it anymore. It was easy at first, we've been separated for three months before, sometimes even four months with video transmissions but six months without any contact? I can't do it." Tears trickled down her face.
"N-nanoha."
"So please just let me be. I'm still working, I'm still eating, I'm still healthy. Don't criticize the way I am. It can't be helped." Vita sighed and nodded.
"Just . . . don't worry. She's coming home soon."
A shadow of a smile lit the girl's face.
"I know.
. . .
Fate leaned heavily against cool metal. Blood leaked from the corner of her mouth and she gagged on the taste of iron.
"Bardiche."
"Yes sir."
Just hearing that noise, that affirmation by that intelligent device she had for twelve years gave her hope.
"Let's go. We're going home to Nanoha and Vivio."
"Yes Sir." Fate glanced over her shoulder, her grip tightening on her scythe.
"Riot Blade," she spat out. Then she charged forward, the image of her lover and daughter ingrained in her mind.
. . .
Nanoha was lucky that she was sitting in a chair. Her knees might have given out. In front of her was a transmission from Shamal.
"She's in critical condition. It would be best if you come now. We don't know if she's-" the blonde's eyes bled with tears. The brunette was already out the door, illegally flying in the city's limits once again. Hayate was going to have yet another headache to deal with.
Stumbling through white hallways filled with doctors and patients she finally found the room. Tentatively she reached out her hand and the door slid open. The first thought that passed through her brain was relief. Fate lay on a hospital bed, an oxygen mask attached to her face, wisps of air appearing and disappearing on the plastic. Her blonde hair cascaded beautifully over the white linen sheets, a blanket of gold.
"Fate-chan?" She walked forward as if in a dream. Stiffly she sat down in the simple fold chair. Instinctively she reached out and gave the hand a squeeze.
"I love you," she whispered, her thoughts and emotions pouring out into those three words.
A tight squeeze from her lover was her only response. But it was enough.
A/N My attempt at angst. Hate it, love it? Please review and tell me!