Forever in One Day
I'm sitting in my tree again. It's mine. It always is mine, and anyone who thinks otherwise can go to hell. Anyways, my tree is where I go when I need to think. Mine. That thought comforts me, a lot. Having something actually belong to me, only me, and no one else. I know that technically, the tree isn't mine, but I still find reassurance in knowing I can brag about something to myself. Can't really brag about a tree to anyone else…
Now that I stop to think about it, the whole forest can be mine, since it is named after me. Inu yasha's forest. What a screwed up name, who was the bum to make up that name anyway? Just because I was pinned to my tree it suddenly becomes my forest. If one day I came on a random forest and I pinned a rabbit to a tree, would it suddenly be called Rabbit's Forest? I didn't think so…
Humans, I may never understand them.
Especially a certain human girl who I've grown quite attached to. Someone I wish was mine. I'd trade my tree for her any day.
I finger my rosary, it used to be the only thing that binds me to her, but now, now it's so much different. Now there's something so much deeper that binds me. But I know there's no way I can show her until she removes the beads, until she removes my spell.
The beads make a clinking sound as they clash together as they slip and slide around my fingers, the beads are cool and round as opposed to my fingers that are warm and rough.
I sigh and release the beads, I hate the spell, and I would despise the beads themselves if Kagome wasn't the holder. She's always there right before I'm about to kick Shippou's ass, the little brat deserves it anyway.
Always gets on my nerves and right before I'm going to pound him into the ground she'll pop out from behind a tree or something and sit me. Always jumping to conclusions.
Shippou's annoying, but I'd never let a single soul hurt him, he's in a way Kagome's child, and one day I hope I can be his adopted father or something...whatever I'm getting ahead of myself dreaming of things that will never be. Besides, I wouldn't be much of a father, I think…
The sound of snapping twigs breaks me from my thoughts as I see Kagome clear the bushes and come into the small clearing my tree sits in the center off. She's holding her yellow backpack thing on her back as she sits near the base of the tree and just stares up at it.
She sighs deeply and I can smell her sadness, I wonder what she's sad about.
She then smiles miserably and places a hand on one of the giant roots, her hand is so tiny compared to the massive things. I lean on my stomach and let my arms dangle free so I can get a better look at her.
She's very beautiful when she wants to be and she isn't wearing her fake cheery mask, the one thing that seems permanently pasted on when in the company of our friends. I like seeing her when she's truly happy, even if those eyes are so sad, I want her to be happy, and sometimes I think she'll never be happy if she stays here.
That's why I sent her back that one time; I wanted her to be safe and happy. But then she's come back, and I still wonder: WHY?
I look down at Kagome again and realize she's staring up at me, I cringe preparing for the 'sit' I'm about to get for staring at her without her knowledge.
"Inu yasha?" she asks timidly.
I shut my eyes tight awaiting that one syllable that can make me fall flat on my face like a clumsy oaf.
"Come down please?"
I crack open an eye and stare down at her, she raises an eyebrow but doesn't have that glint in her eye she acquires whenever she's about to sit me.
"Why should I?" BAKA! Why'd I just say that, I'm so stupid sometimes, I didn't mean it Kagome damn it, don't sit me!
She only smiles, "Because I asked you?"
I'm about to scream out again but I bite my lip, almost drawing blood, I roll of the branch and fall down with youkai grace, landing into a squat position I sit Indian-style on the grass near her, she smiles at me.
I love that smile. But it seemed a little forced, a little sad.
"Inu yasha, what would you say if I were to ask you if I could go home?" she looked at me and said before cutting me off, "For good?"
My eyes widened and I tried desperately not to cry, I've never done that before, but I could feel the prickling behind my eyes, it hurt, my heart felt like it would explode and everything in my life was shattering. I've never cried in my life…but at this moment…at this very moment, I felt like my world had just shattered…
There was a moment of silence, the sadness in her eyes was almost too much, and I wanted to scream at her, make her stay, tell her how much I love her. Wait…love her? Do I love her? DAMN IT OF COURSE I DO!
Finally, after the silence was almost too much, "I...I just want you to b- be ha-happy, Kagome."
I felt the tears prickling my eyes and I turned my face downward, allowing the tears to slip through my golden orbs, I didn't care about my dignity anymore. Kagome was really leaving. Why? Why couldn't she stay with me?
Kagome looked at my downcast face and I could smell her tears.
We both sat crying, but Kagome didn't think I was crying, she can't smell the saltiness like I can.
"Ka-Kagome I-I only wa-want you to-to be ha-ha-happy," I stutter out, trying to recollect my voice and try not to make it so wavy and sad. My patheticness was almost overwhelming, and I was slightly appalled by my inability to control myself, if not for me, than for Kagome's sake.
Kagome looked at me, and I think she finally saw the silvery tear trails left on my cheeks, because she reached out a hand and wiped the pathetic evidence of my distress away, "Inu yasha..."
"If you really want to leave me, I can't stop you, I won't stop you, I only want you to be happy," I said, the quiver in my voice leaving momentarily. I tried to sound strong.
"Inu yasha, I don't want to leave!" she sobbed and flung herself into my arms, which wrapped around her willingly, "I want to stay with you! Forever!" My first thought was Then why the hell did you put me through that!? But then I realized what she said.
My heart leapt high into the air just then, she wanted to stay! With me! Forever!! I would have leapt for joy and click my heels like a happy little Irish person on that cereal that Kagome ate sometimes, lucky harms or something. I had no idea what an Irish is, but whatever.
"My Kagome..." I said, smiling with tears of happiness flowing from my eyes, "I will stay with you forever."
Kagome smiled up at me and laughed, "My Inu-yasha, you couldn't keep me away."
And I leaned into her with a warm embrace, never wanting to let