AN: Thoughts ? Please. I just. Yeah. - don't own the franchises. Let me know what you think of this possible crack fic. Warning: Swaring - pretty sure there was swaring, yaoi, mpreg.

Chapter One : What

"WHAT?! No. What. No – can't be." Naruto held his head; he was having a headache – again. "This is all a dream. That's all – just a fucked up dream."

'Well, It sure looks real from in here.'

Naruto glared at himself in the mirror. "Not funny Kyubi."

'Not trying to be kit... Naruto – no, that sounds odd- How about I stick with Kit.'

"How about you mind your own fucking business Fox!"

Naruto didn't know what to do, right now he felt like Raman and a side of something with pumpkin in it. The blond face palmed, he hated pumpkin.

Maybe the fox was messing with him, yeah that was it. 'Nope, try again.' Sometime Naruto wished he could put a muzzle on the damn fox who was now laughing inside his mind.

It was Naruto sixth trip to the Raman stand that week and he knew he couldn't afford it, he was just really hungry, he did get an odd look from the owners however.

"I didn't even know you were a girl." Naruto grumbled puking in his bathroom sink.

'Im an all powerful nine tailed fox. I don't have a gender. Beside do you think I want you carrying my children. You are going to be a horrible father.'

"Who said they are even your children." Naruto shot back before thinking.

'They are feeding off my chakra – they are going to be part me even though I had no part of their production.'

"Just forget I said anything, I don't want to have to think of having children with tails."He moaned into the sink. "I don't want to think about even having children."

Naruto ran into the training ground, he had overslept. Sasuke yelled at him for being late even though Kakashi wasn't there yet. "Honestly we are Chuunin so why do we still need to do a team Mission." Naruto complained struggling to find a comfortable sitting position.

Sasuke hit the back of Naruto's head, "Because we are a team." Sakura smiled at the two boys. It had been a long journey and he finally got them to agree to monthly team missions. "Besides we are hardly going to meet up for tea every week so this is a compromise." She added.

Kakashi appeared with a weak 'I was saving a kitten.' Before team seven headed to receive a mission. Naruto surprisingly sided with Sakura on an easier mission this month earning him a raised Uchiha eye brow who had wanted to travel to capture a Missing nin but was instead now stuck accompanying a Diplomat's pregnant wife. "Are you feeling alright?" Sakura asked getting ready to do a scan of her teammate who promptly hid behind Kakashi.

Naruto held his full satchel and declared he will keep the Missus safe from any harm that someone might want to cause to an unborn baby. Kiyota Masa seemed to be very Grateful and declared that her seven month old belly was very grateful as well.

"I must admit when they said it was a seven month pregnant Diplomat I thought I would have to constantly have to speak about babies and pregnancy but she seems to usher me out after her daily check-up so she can speak to Naruto." Sakura told Kakashi who was ignoring her in favour of his book.

Sasuke didn't get to spar with Naruto before he left the village for some reason and hadn't been near him at all during the mission, he had a suspicion that Naruto was avoiding him for some reason.

The lady Masa was ecstatic to have someone to talk to and the perfect person as well. "So tell me Naruto-chan, who's the elusive father?" Naruto blushed at Masa.

"Not so loud and don't call me chan, I am still a man." Naruto unconsciously placed his hand on the slight bump, just large enough to be obvious if he didn't have such baggy clothing but still small enough to be hid.

Masa squealed, "Come on, you cannot hold out on a pregnant girl for this long! I have needs."

"You make it sound dirty Masa- chan." Naruto was busy writing out the privacy seal. He placed it on the cabin wall. "There now we can talk without them finding out."

"You are such a naughty boy, not telling your team." She gasp, "Wait does the father know!"

Naruto shook his head looking anywhere then at the woman. She slapped his arm. "DOES HE EVEN KNOW A JINCHURIKI CAN GET PREGNANT!" She screeched at him, Naruto couldn't have been more thankful to the silence seals.

"I didn't even know." He said rubbing his eardrums.

"Oh you poor boy, now that must have been a shock." She started giggling.

"Tell me about it, One day im just a free single man who met a handsome stranger and BAM I get a couple of buns in the – wait, where are they? I don't have baby oven!" Naruto started stroking his stomach and muttering sweet nothings in a panic.

Masa glared at him. "How exactly do you think woman work young man."

Naruto went silent as the kyubi told him in no uncertain terms that both his and the Kyubis chakra was creating an involuntary makeshift womb so he better not getting chakra exhaustion even once.

"It's okay my chakra has made a womb, they are safe. All safe, yes very safe." Naruto muttered causing the lady's eyes to soften.

"You truly are an amazing person Naruto-kun." The lady said while leaning forward to embrace the man.

Naruto sniffed at the affection, "Don't do that you are going to make me cry."

"That's what these hormones do isn't it!" Masa sniffed back at him and then as if just remembering something slapped his arm. "Tell me about the father!"

Naruto laughed before settling into a smile, "Oh he was different. The greenest eyes I had ever seen." Masa shifted closer wanting to hear it all.

Naruto remembered him clearly; He had had another worldly beauty, raven hair, a simple jeans and t-shirt with eyes that enchanted Naruto. Naruto had been returning from a mission when he had felt a shift in the air and came across this little village – the man had been drinking tea and Naruto hadn't stopped to think what he was doing when he sat down and introduced himself. The Man was a traveler; he had come to see the different places and had arrived in the village by accident. They had laughed and through the day got closer. Naruto knew he could take a day or two from his journey home, His mission had been a solo mission and had ended earlier than expected. The two had agreed not to talk about work. That night had been wondrous and they didn't leave the strange tent at all the next day. After the two days together they had shared a whispered goodbye and when Naruto had gone back a month later the village was nothing but a small village without the odd forest he had stayed in.

"His name was Harí." Naruto sighed.

Masa wiped at her eyes, "And you never saw him again?" Naruto shook his head.