Even In Death
Summary: KateTony. Only after Kate's death is Tony able to reveal his true feelings for her. Tate and hints of McAbby.
Thank you to all you lovely people who reviewed my first Tate fanfic. It really meant a lot!
This fic is dedicated to my CSI buddy Bex, it's my end of the deal lol!
Please review!
Song lyrics are from 'Even in Death' by Evanescence.
Tony DiNozzo walked down to autopsy where Ducky was wiping down his autopsy tables and generally clearing up for the night. He looked up, startled, as Tony came in.
"Ah Antony, what can I do you for?" The pathologist asked.
"Can I have a few moments alone with..." Tony tailed off, gesturing towards the drawer marked 'Caitlin Todd'. His usual wit and sarcasm had left him, he felt drained and empty. Kate was gone and there was nothing he could do to bring her back.
Ducky gave the NCIS Agent a weak smile. "I was just about to leave for the night. Take all the time you need." He said, turning to the sink and washing his hands under the hot tap. Once they were dry, Ducky placed his hand on Tony's arm in a gesture of friendliness and understanding. They were all finding the death of Kate hard to deal with but Tony was hurting the most.
"Thanks Duck." Tony replied, his voice a little deeper than usual as he tried hard to suppress his varying emotions.
Ducky put on his beige trench coat and his hat and left the room, leaving Tony alone; alone with his grief and alone with Kate. He took a deep, steadying breath as he walked forwards, the silence in the room was so great that he could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall. Tony took another calming breath and reached out to slide open the drawer, he choked back a sob as he saw Kate. Her eyes were closed, hiding her beautiful eyes from him. She looked so peaceful in death, if you ignored the bullet hole through her forehead. Tony ran his thumb over her cheek, her skin was soft beneath his touch.
"Oh, Kate." He sighed. She was so beautiful to him, even now. Why did that bastard Ari have to kill her? To take away the only thing in his life that made sense, although over the past two years his relationship with Kate hadn't always been straight forward. He remembered the first time they had met. She wasn't like the other women he knew, she had something that none of them had. All the women he had been with were pretty and so was Kate but her beauty was more than just skin deep. She was smart, intelligent and sharp, things that Tony found intimidating in a woman but also things that attracted him to Kate. Of course, he would never let her know that he was attracted to her but now he hoped that she had known that he felt more for her than he would ever let on. She was his weakness and he was sure that she knew that. Although he rarely showed it, Tony would have done anything for Kate. If it had been an option he would have taken the bullet for her. The same way she had pretended to have been infected with the in order to be with him at the point where they had both thought he was going to die. He could have told her how he felt then, but he hadn't and now it was far too late. She would never hear those words from his mouth and be able to tell him that she felt the same although Tony was close to accepting that Kate had felt nothing for him romantically at all.
They had so many memories together and Tony hated to think of carrying on with the job without her. No more shared jokes about McGee, no more flirtacious banter, no more Kate. He missed already, it was like a dull ache that only time would be able to cure. He remembered the previous day when he and Kate had been investigating the two murdered seamen in the car. Tony had been willing to sacrifice his own life for Kate and McGee, well mainly Kate but when had come to the crunch he hadn't been able to. Ari wanted Kate dead and nothing Tony could have done could have stopped him. He remembered when Kate and McGee had tricked him into thinking Kate had a crush on him. He remembered the feeling of hope in his gut only to have it extinguished by the water Kate had poured on him. Tony was going to miss times like that, it wouldn't be the same without Kate, nothing would be the same without her.
Tony leant forward and kissed Kate's cheek softly, stroking her soft dark hair before sliding the drawer away.
"I'll miss you Kate." He said, turning to leave the room.
As he walked out into the corridor he heard the sound of the elevator doors opening. McGee and Abby stepped out, holding each other's hands tightly. Abby's eyes were red rimmed from crying and McGee looked at the floor. Seeing them like that brought a wave of sensitivity over Tony.
"Come on Tony, let's go." Abby said, pressing the button for the elevator to take them back upstairs.
"Ducky told us you were down here." McGee said, answering the question that was on Tony's lips.
Tony nodded and followed them into the elevator, the silence between the three of them was weighted. Abby seemed to be waiting for Tony to say something, he obliged.
"I loved her." He sighed.
McGee and Abby shared a look.
"We know." McGee told him, his voice was low and gentle.
There was a pause before Abby spoke.
"And she loved you too."