A/N: I have been reading a lot of Zootopia stories lately, and it prompted me to write my own.
Alone.
This was a word Nick Wide had grown up being friends with, then he and the word became enemies. And then he met her, and they became strangers. He doesn't remember what it's like to feel alone, not really, anyway. He doesn't remember when he stopped feeling alone, either.
But now, walking out of the precinct, in his best, and only suit, he feels alone. It's familiar, yet completely different. Like it was a different type of alone. Getting into his car, he takes a deep breath, his paws gripping the steering wheel. He doesn't turn on the radio like he usually would, instead basking in the silence. He had heard to many voices today. Too many apologetic sounding words, when the only voice he wanted to hear, was one he didn't think he'd ever hear again. Stopping at a red light, he sees that her iPawd is still on the floor from where she had dropped it merely days ago. He wants to cry, but he doesn't.
Walking to their apartment takes longer than usual. He's dreading it, contemplating not going in at all, but he does, unlocking the door and opening it with a click. The lights almost blind him when he turns them on. He walks to his bedroom, and her scent, still on the pillow, hits him instantly. He wants to cry, but he doesn't.
He walks to the bathroom and stares at his reflection. His fur is not grey, and his eyes are not aged, and it isn't fair. They should've been old, they should've spent years and years together, yet they only got eleven. And it wasn't fair. He walked back to the bedroom, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed. He picks up a picture that's sitting on the nightstand. It's of him, Judy, Bucky, and Pronk, the latter couple being bent down to fit better in the photograph. It was the day Nick and Judy had discovered that the kudu and the oryx, were in fact, together. Judy had been shocked, Nick hadn't. They had the first of many lunches together that day. Nick almost allowed himself a small smile. Almost.
He was mad at her for a long time, for dying, for leaving him, for leaving them. He had yelled at her headstone for a solid five minutes before falling to his knees and sobbing for another five. He was still mad, sometimes. Not at her, but at life, at the person who had taken her away. Everyone at the funeral reminded him of things he already knew. How she had been such a bright person, an amazing cop, a wonderful wife, and an even more amazing mother. He wants to cry, but he doesn't.
She was taken too soon, and everyone knew it. There would never be anyone like her in his life again, there would never be anyone in his life again. Foxes mated for life. He doesn't think he could want anyone else, anyway. His phone rings, but he doesn't pick it up. He doesn't want to hear anyone else telling him they're sorry. He was sorry too, so damn sorry. He wants to cry, but he doesn't.
Fifteen minutes later there's a knock on the door. It takes one minute before he gets up and goes to open it. There's another knock, and talking on the other side of the door. His heart both sinks, and rises. He opens the door and is greeted with the sad but smiling face of a rabbit, and a toddler that looks to much like him. "I was going to keep him for longer, but he kept asking for you." The happiness in her voice is forced.
He nods his thanks and closes the door, immediately scooping the toddler into his arms. "Hey, bud." The child doesn't say anything, just wraps his arms tighter around the reynards neck. He walks over to the couch and sits down, setting the toddler on his lap. "How were the cousins, Russ?"
Saying his name makes his heart ache. It had been his fathers name, and Judy had chosen it for that exact reason. Russ looks up at him, and Nick feels the ache again, his eyes are the same as his mothers. Ignoring his fathers question, the kit stares at him. "I miss momma."
Nick pulls him closer, and holds him tighter. In this moment, he looks smaller and more fragile then he actually is. "So do I, bud."
The kit nuzzles into his fur. "Where do you think she is?'
He gripps him so tightly he is afraid he will break. He wants to cry, and this time, he does.
"Somewhere better."