Author's Note: This story came from an experience that happened to me. I wrote this a while back about myself when I was going through a confusing time. I'm better now, and forgot what I wrote until I was looking through my files and the idea for these characters was born. I am still new to this, and improving each time. Criticism is welcomed, Flames can go elsewhere. Please Read & Review. Enjoy.
Remus Lupin,
When you told me you loved me, did you ever mean it? We're all those times we talked, laughed, joked, flirted, just a game? Did you ever even care about? When you looked at me, did you see nothing but a naïve girl who you could manipulate into having sex with you? Was I just an easy fuck to you? I saw you yesterday, in the library, and you wouldn't even look at me. I know I ignoring you, but I had a right too. You made me feel hurt, stupid, violated, angry, sad and most of all, confused. Was it my fault that it happened? People say it wasn't, that you should never have put me in that position in the first place, that I was the victim. But, I can't help but wonder, was I really the victim? I know that we could never possibly work, so why do keep thinking that if I had kept my mouth shut, we could have found a way? I hate you. I really HATE you. I hate how you make me feel. I hate how far apart we are in age. I hate how you make me laugh when I want to cry. I hate how happy I feel when I'm around you. I hate your beautiful Amber eyes. I hate how I can't stop thinking of you. I hate how I can't stop picturing us together. I hate how the thought of an "us" sounds exciting and wonderful. But most of all, I hate that I think I might still care about you. Even if you deserve to go to Azkaban, I just can't bring myself to do it. You manipulated me, betrayed me and my friends trust, and violated me, made me doubt myself, made it become hard to forget you, and I still care about you. I hope you're happy. You pretty much ruined me for anybody else, you know that, right? I used to crush on boys my age. Blush if they looked at me. But now, I can't even feel even an ounce of attraction, no matter how hard I try (And believe me, I tried). Maybe you fell in love, and couldn't help it. Maybe you tried to fight how you feel about me, but just couldn't in the end. Or maybe, that's all just wishful thinking, and you were just looking for the closest to fuck, and I happened to be that unfortunate person. I'll probably never know. I hope you have a happy long life (far away from me as possible), and spend the rest of your life remembering your guilt. Goodbye for Good-
Hermione Granger