Power Rangers Time Force:
The Dumpster Episode
Another day in the clock tower. Trip was rifling through a bin, apparently searching for something, and making a royal mess of the place. Lucas was sitting in a recliner a few feet away, reading the paper. Finally Trip stopped and sighed, then turned to Lucas.
"Hey, Lucas, have you seen Circuit?" Trip asked. Lucas never looked up from the paper.
"Nope. Haven't seen him." Lucas replied. At that moment, Circuit flew in.
"There he is!" Trip exclaimed, totally relieved. Lucas grabbed Circuit and tossed him into a garbage can by the window.
"Hey!" Trip protested. Circuit flew out and landed beside Lucas.
"Good thing I enabled him to fly." Trip said. Lucas promptly grabbed Circuit, detached his wings, and tossed him back into the garbage can.
"Like my new trash file?" Lucas asked.
"What?! What was THAT for?" Trip demanded. Lucas rotated the garbage can, revealing a label on the front of it.
"Read the label." Lucas told him. Trip got a little closer and read the label out loud.
"Inventions of Trip's that are . . . USELESS?!" Trip exclaimed. He picked some stuff out of the garbage can. "The elector-booster, the double vectors . . . Lucas! These are some of my best inventions!"
"Please. I was able to fill three garbage cans with your useless inventions." Lucas pointed at two more garbage cans standing next to the first one. Trip looked through the other ones.
"These are my second best inventions, my third best inventions . . ." Trip stopped when he noticed a fourth trash can. He peered in.
"There's someone in there." He duely noted. Suddenly Katie popped up from inside the garbage can. Trip jumped back.
"Katie?! Lucas, what is Katie doing in there?!" Trip demanded.
"Read the label." Lucas told him. Trip studied the label.
"'Things close to Trip that are useless'?" Trip read. "Lucas, that's not fair. Katie is the best mommy . . ." Trip cut himself short. "I . . .I mean comrade, ever!"
Lucas scribbled down some stuff on a piece of paper. Then he shoved the paper at Trip.
"Here. Read this label!" Lucas demanded. Trip looked it over.
"'Trip's opinion DOESN'T COUNT?!" He read. "Lucas, that's not fair!!" Trip exclaimed. He moved over to the next garbage can.
"And what's in this trash file?" Trip asked as he looked over the label. "Bunny leaders who frequently chew Trip out that are useless?" He scratched his head. "What does that mean?" Right on cue, Jen popped out of the garbage can.
"Jen?!!" Trip fumed. He moved over to the next trash file and read the label out loud.
"'Weenies who harass Trip that are useless?'" Trip sighed. "I don't think I want to know." To Trip's dismay, Wes popped out of the garbage can.
"WES?!" Trip steamed. "Lucas, this has gone TOO FAR!!"
"No, Trip, it's great. I found HALF a boloney sandwich in here!" Wes exclaimed excitedly.
"Wes!" Jen fumed.
"I'm starving!" Wes protested.
"Don't worry, guys." Lucas said. "You won't have to sit in those trash files any more. I got a new one for all of you!" Lucas gestured toward a large dumpster. The front of it bore a large label, which read:
THINGS IN THE CLOCK TOWER THAT ARE USELESS.
Katie climbed out of her trash file and stood before Lucas, arms akimbo. "Trip is right, Lucas." Katie said heroically. "This has gone too far. We're not going back in there."
Lucas's head suddenly jerked off to the side. "What's that?" he asked.
"What?!" Everyone asked in unison.
"This!" Lucas quickly grabbed a net and threw it over them. He netted them together and threw them into the dumpster. THUMP!
"Man, this bites." Katie said of their stinky, trash-ridden prospects.
"Hey, I found a tweenkie." Wes said happily.
"Wes!" Jen sighed.
"I'm starving!" Wes explained. Suddenly the whole dumpster lit up.
"Where's that light coming from?" Asked Wes.
"It's Trip." Katie said. "He's having a vision." Everyone turned to look at Trip. The gem in his forehead was glowing bright green. As suddenly as the glowing had started, it stopped. As his vision passed, Trip once more became aware of his surroundings.
"What did you see, Trip?" Katie asked.
"I saw us piping peanut butter down Lucas's pants. Then he was crying and saying he'd crapped his pants in his sleep." Trip said perplexedly.
"Hey, let's do that." Wes said enthusiastically.
"Yeah!" Jen and Katie agreed. Trip wasn't convinced.
"Guys, I saw him crying. I don't think that would be fair."
"Was it fair for Lucas to throw us into the dumpster?" Katie reasoned.
"Well . . ." Trip said.
"Was it fair for him to throw Circuit into the garbage?"
Trip's eyes narrowed. "Let's do it."
That Night . . .
In the stillness of the darkened clock tower, Wes, Jen, Katie and Trip moved stealthily toward Lucas's bedroom. They stopped only once, to grab a butter knife and some peanut butter from the kitchen. They then darted nimbly into Lucas's room, pausing before they entered. Once convinced the coast was clear, they went over to Lucas's bedside. Jen and Katie pulled down Lucas's pants while Wes and Trip carried out the task. Lucas was snoring and drooling heavily, oblivious to the goings on of the others. Once the task was complete, the four of them nodded to each other and slipped out. All of them . . . except Wes. He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one had missed him. He then pulled out a loaf of bread and a jar of jelly. Smiling slyly, Wes took out two slices of bread and spread them with the jelly. He paused for a moment before taking one of the slices of bread and sticking it to the seat of Lucas's pants. Wes snickered to himself. He looked at the other piece of bread longingly, and sighed.
"Man, I'm starving." Wes said to himself. He took a single bite, then stuck the rest to the seat of Lucas's pants, alongside the other piece of bread. Wes smiled, then slipped stealthily out of Lucas's bedroom.
The Next Morning . . .
All was still in the clock tower the following morning. Everything was quiet, everyone peacefully sleeping, when suddenly, a horrified scream came from Lucas's room.
"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Wes, Jen, Katie and Trip all woke up with a start.
"What was that?" Katie asked. The other three shook their heads. No one knew what was going on. Suddenly, Lucas came dashing out into the living room where the others were.
"Lucas, what's going on?" Katie asked. Lucas broke down and started crying.
"I . . .I crapped my pants and it smelled like peanut butter!" Lucas sobbed. The other four looked at each other and giggled.
Lucas continued. "And. . . and there were two pieces of bread stuck to the seat of my pants with jelly!"
"What?" Jen whispered
"Who did that?" Katie asked Jen.
"And one of them had a bite out of it!" Lucas finished tearfully. Jen and Katie looked at each other, then glared at Wes.
"WES!!" They hissed in unison.
"I was starving!" Wes insisted. Katie left the room, then came back with a huge dumpster.
"All right, Lucas." Katie said with a huge grin on her face. "Now you get to go in our trash file." The dumpster bore a label, reading:
WEENIES WHO CRY AND CRAP THEIR PANTS THAT ARE USELESS.
Katie used her super-strength to pick Lucas up and fling him into the dumpster. Lucas landed in dumpster with a dull thud, followed by a squishing sound as he sank into the three feet of garbage the dumpster held.
Lucas sighed. "Man, this bites." He said to himself.
"I'll say." Said a voice from inside the dumpster. Lucas looked around to see who had said that. He found the source of the voice and was surprised to see its owner.
"Captain Logan?!" Lucas asked in disbelief.
"Yes, Cadet Kendell, it's me." Captain Logan confirmed.
Lucas gaped at him in shock. "How did you get here?" He asked.
Captain Logan sighed. "Well, Cadet Kendell," Captain Logan began. "I came here to check up on you guys. When my time ship entered the atmosphere, the readout said I was gonna crash. I got so scared that I cried and crapped my pants. Then I noticed the readout I was looking at was the one on my toaster. As I landed the ship, the other cadets found me, and saw me crying and crapping my pants. Then they said I was a useless weenie, and they threw me in here."
Lucas sighed. "Captain Logan, you don't have to take that from them. You're the Time Captain. You can order them around."
"Hey," Captain Logan said as the realization dawned on him. "You're right." Captain Logan leaned over the edge of the dumpster.
"Cadet Scotts! Cadet Walker! Cadet green-haired weenie!" Captain Logan called.
"Hey!" Trip protested, obviously not thrilled with being called a green-haired weenie.
"Get me OUTTA HERE!" Captain Logan demanded.
"Oh yeah?" Katie asked. "And what would happen if we didn't release you?"
"I'd. . . I'd . . ." Captain Logan started. "You know what, I don't know." Katie laughed, then left, flanked by Jen and Trip.
"Man, this is lame." Said Lucas. "How are we going to get out of here?"
Captain Logan sighed. "It would take a miracle," He said. "Or a hostage."
Lucas looked at him as if he'd shed a blinding light on the darkness of their dilemma. "That's it!" Lucas exclaimed.
"What's it?" Asked Captain Logan.
"We'll capture Trip and hold him for ransom!" Lucas said ethuastically.
"Why Trip?"
"Trip is Katie's baby." Lucas explained. "She'll do anything to get him back."
"Let's do it!" Captain Logan said excitedly. He leaned over the edge of the dumpster.
"Cadet walker," He called. "I'm ready to discuss your terms." Katie strode into the living room, with Trip closely following her. She grinned.
"I'm listening." Katie said in an amused tone.
"All right, hold my ankles." Lucas whispered to Captain Logan.
"Got it." He replied. "Go for it!"
Lucas leapt over the edge of the garbage can and grabbed Trip by the collar.
"Now! Pull me back in!" Lucas called to Captain Logan. Captain Logan hauled Lucas and Trip into the dumpster.
"KATIE!" Trip called in distress.
"BABY!" Cried Katie. She quickly corrected herself. "I . . .I mean, Trip." Katie stood before the dumpster, and with an air of heroism, she declared, "Don't worry, Trip. I'll go get Jen and Wes, they'll know what to do." Katie dashed off to the kitchen, where she found Jen and Wes.
"Jen! Wes!" Katie gasped breathlessly. "Captain Logan and Lucas are holding Trip hostage in the dumpster!"
Jen took a minute to process that. "Well, I don't care. You, Wes?" She asked.
"Nope. I'm good." Wes responded.
"Come on, guys." Katie reasoned. "When we were first recruited, weren't we taught to never leave one of your own men behind? Trip is more than that. He's our fellow officer, our fellow ranger, and more importantly, he's our friend."
Jen and Wes looked at each other. "Still don't care!" They chorused.
Jen got up. "Come on, Wes, let's go get some twinkies."
"I LOVE you!" Wes declared.
Katie sighed. "You know," She said casually, looking at her fingernails. "Trip still has the pizza money."
"Oh no, that's terrible!" Jen cried.
With a sense of duty and purpose, Wes proclaimed "We have to save the pizza!" The three of them dashed into the living room.
"Trip!" Katie called. "Jump into my arms!" She held out her arms.
Trip stood on the edge of the dumpster. "Okay." He said shakily. Trip took a deep breath and dived into Katie's waiting arms. Katie and Trip shared a loving embrace.
"Katie!"
"Baby!"
Suddenly their eyes shot open, and Katie and Trip jumped about ten feet apart.
"I . . . I mean, Trip." Katie corrected herself.
"Yeah . . . thanks for saving me." Trip said, embarrassed.
"Ah, man, there goes our hostage." Captain Logan said.
"Hey, Captain Logan, I have an idea. Let's just jump out like Trip did!" Lucas said.
"Hey, yeah, let's do that." Said Captain Logan. They stood on the edge of the dumpster.
"Ready. On my go." Said Lucas. "GO!" They leapt out of the dumpster that once held them captive. Captain Logan landed on the hard floor with a THUD! Lucas landed on Captain Logan with a thud.
Lucas nursed his bruises. "Not one of my better ideas." He said.
Captain Logan started crying. "WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I GOT A BOO-BOO!" He cried.
Wes, Jen, Katie and Trip looked at each other. "Boo-boo? Did he just say boo-boo?" Jen asked.
"Did you just say boo-boo?" Lucas asked, as if it was the lamest thing he'd ever heard of.
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Captain Logan Continued. Then a weird series of farting and squishing sounds came from Captain Logan.
"What was that?" Katie asked Jen.
"I think . . .he just . . .crapped his pants." Jen stated in shock. Wes and Trip were stunned speechless.
Lucas scoffed. "That is soooo lame." He declared.
Captain Logan stopped crying for a minute. "Oh, come off it, Cadet Kendell!" Captain Logan ordered. "You were in the pant-crapping trash file, too!"
Wes grinned. "Oh, he didn't really crap." Wes said to the horror of the others. "We just piped peanut butter down his . . ."
Jen cut him off. "WES!" She hissed.
"Oops." Said Wes.
"Crap!" Said Katie.
Lucas was inflamed with anger. "WHAT?!!" He shouted at Katie. His furious gaze burned into her.
Katie sighed. "We're really sorry, Lucas. Truce?" She asked cautiously.
Lucas chewed that one over for a minute. "Well, okay." He said.
"All right." Said Wes. "Let's go get some pizza. Trip's buying."
"Sweet!" Said Katie.
"Yeah!" Said Jen.
"Hey!" Said Trip. The five of them left the clock tower. Only Captain Logan was left.
"But who's gonna change me?" He sobbed. "MOMMY!"
THE END.