A/N- Written before 3x07 and based off of the spoilers from that episode. Prompted by Anon on my tumblr: 'Thomas/Jimmy running away after everybody finds out that Thomas is gay?' Enjoy!
Thomas ripped the clothes from their hangers and emptied his drawers of their contents, throwing everything he owned into the two suitcases open on his unmade bed.
He had been a fool.
A complete and utter fool and now everyone knew.
Alfred had seen him going into Jimmy's room, had seen him kiss his lover, and he was certain the whole house was going to know before the sun rose.
He knew who Alfred had gone running to and he knew he could expect no mercy.
O'Brien might have been his friend at one time but now he knew she wanted nothing more than to tear him down from the position he, they, had worked so hard to achieve. It was stupid, really, how quickly their friendship had dissolved, all because he wouldn't help her train her idiot nephew to be a valet.
The boy struggled with his duties as a footman, in what future could he ever be a valet? Especially considering how much Thomas had gone through to reach the position he had coveted above all else.
Not to mention his actual ability.
Why hadn't O'Brien understood?
And maybe he had goaded her into acting, using Alfred against her, but it wasn't just a matter of professional pride anymore.
She had upped the stakes and now his whole life was on the line.
He didn't doubt that the police would be called for first thing, not once Carson heard about him and his preferences, and that he would be thrown into a jail cell for his crime.
For loving Jimmy.
Jimmy…
If there was anything good that was to come out of this it was that he would be safe.
Because O'Brien didn't know she had been a pawn in his own game.
She was his failsafe. Blinded by her need to ruin him, she hadn't seen what had been right in front of her, she hadn't seen that Jimmy shared Thomas' feelings and for that he was thankful.
Of course, that probably had more to do with the fact that Jimmy was better at hiding than he was than a true over sight on her part.
But Jimmy was better.
He had always been better, Thomas knew that, and that was why he had to leave.
He couldn't let them drag Jimmy into this, couldn't let him lose his job and his whole future, because he had chosen a lover who acted with his heart and not his head.
No, Jimmy deserved better than that.
Thomas would be gone by morning and Jimmy could invent a truth where he was free of the older man's disease and had no part to play in what Thomas had done.
He would be safe and he would have his job and no one would think any less of him.
They all knew Thomas was a villain, it would be easy for Jimmy to convince them it was all Thomas' doing, and for once Thomas did not regret his past acts because now Jimmy would be safe and that's everything Thomas wanted in that moment.
He wouldn't let Jimmy pay for his mistake.
He glanced out of the window and saw the first hints of colour in the sky, signally the impending doom of morning, and he knew he was running out of time.
He snapped his suitcases shut and quickly checked his room to make sure that he had not left anything of value behind before making quick work of the distance between his room in the manservants' hallway and the backdoor.
He made sure not be seen as the household began to stir and relief and sadness mixed in his gut and made him feel ill.
He didn't look back as Downton Abbey, what he might have once referred to as home, disappeared into the fog of early morning.
He wouldn't see it again.
And he was so sure he had made it, so sure he had escaped without being caught, that relief overwhelmed his sadness and he let himself believe that he had done it.
He was halfway to the village when he heard somebody call his name.
He didn't stop.
He didn't dare.
But the person called his name once again and Thomas realised who it was and his heart stopped.
"No." He whispered, stopping dead in his tracks. "No."
Because it couldn't be.
Thomas was running away so that Jimmy could be safe, why was the younger man following him?
"What are you doing?" Thomas asked as Jimmy got closer. "Go back to the house before anyone notices you're missing. You'll be okay, tell them it was my fault. They'll believe you, you'll be okay."
Jimmy shook his head, "I can't do that."
"You have to, please, Jimmy, it'll be better like this, you'll see."
"It won't." Jimmy said and he dropped his suitcase and cupped Thomas' face with his hands. "It won't because I won't be with you."
Thomas closed the gap between them, kissing Jimmy desperately and willing the moment to last for forever while knowing it never could, "please, Jimmy. I'm trying to fix this."
"By running away?"
"It'll keep you safe."
"I don't want to be safe." Jimmy told him. "I want to be with you. Let me come with you, Thomas. Please, I can't go back- I…"
Thomas pulled the other man to him and breathed in his scent as his mind and heart battled.
"We can go to London, find work and it'll all be okay." Jimmy pleaded and Thomas felt his body shake with sobs. "Please, I can't lose you."
"And I can't let you throw everything away. You have it good here, work hard and maybe you'll be valet in a couple of years, have Carson's job by the end. You'll forget about me and you'll get through this stronger. You'll see."
Jimmy pulled himself free from Thomas' grasp and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks, "are you not listening to me? I love you and I want to be with you, nothing is worth more than that."
"What if they find us, huh? Do you want to go to jail?"
"If it means I have you."
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"And you're an idiot and a bastard and I love you more than anything else. I don't care what else might think."
Thomas wiped away Jimmy's tears with his thumbs and locked eyes with the younger man, his will crumbling, "it's not going to be easy."
"Nothing worth having ever is."
"Fine." Thomas said, frustration losing battle to warmth that spread through him and made him feel like he never had before. "But we need to go."
He kissed Jimmy again but this time it was longer and filled with everything Thomas had.
"You're the one wasting time." Jimmy told him between heavy breaths when they parted.
"I'd be at the train station already if it weren't for you."
They were moving again now, half running as the sun rose ever higher in the sky, but they were smiling, their hearts and minds lighter than they had been only minutes previously.
"You wouldn't be anywhere if it weren't for me."
"Cheeky sod."
They had just reached the village when Thomas next spoke, "Jimmy?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you, too."
Jimmy laughed and Thomas knew he had made the right decision.
Because in the end what did it all matter?
If they were sent to prison or never found work again, they could still be happy because they had each other.
For Thomas, who had rarely, if ever, known true happiness, this would be enough.
Jimmy would always be enough.