Shizuo Heiwajima was a bartender.

He did not like his job. He didn't have much of anyone in the way of friends. He did not associate with his relatives except for his brother, of whom was usually far far away from him. He did not care about children for he found them to be too fragile and annoying.

No, the only thing this man wished for, longed for, was peace.

He longed for this because deep down in his very person, he truly felt he was a peaceful, tranquil person: A person who others should look up to instead of feared, a person who could go an entire week without losing his temper, a person who could stop avoiding his landowner because his pay had been reduced to the point that he couldn't even buy instant ramen every night.

Shizuo Heiwajima was a bartender, a bartender who was currently being shoved up against a chain link fence and read his rights as several officers tranquilized him so that they could take him to jail.

"Sir, you are under arrest for the murders of Mairu and Kururi Orihara, one miss Vorona, and Kyohei Kadota."

Well this was just the perfect ending to his day…

Shizuo couldn't imagine what could possibly make it worse.

~.~

"Orihara!"

Sleek black pants, warm parka with fur trim, briefcase, tie, perfectly styled hair, an air of superiority, the man strut down the hallway like he owned it. Oh wait, he did in fact own this particular hallway. He was the owner of this establishment. A smirk graced his lips as he reminded himself of this fact.

"Orihara-sempai!" A second voice joined in with the first and Orihara Izaya looked behind him, seeing his two interns come sprinting forth to greet him.

"Masaomi. Ryugamine."

Ryugamine panted as his friend smiled, "hey! We heard they caught the guy who killed your sisters and those other two dudes!"

"Are you going to be attending the trail?"

"Mikado. Kida." Izaya shook his head and wrapped an arm around each, leading them to his office, "now why would I need to do that? I should be thanking this person. They saved this whole office from being blackmailed with our personal sexual choices." The duo shivered as Izaya continued, "plus despite this suspect having killed my other precious humans, he is still a human himself. It would be unethical of me to take joy in his suffering."

Kida grabbed his fellow intern and stepped away a bit, his face bemused. "If he killed someone he can't very well be human."

"It seems so wrong to kill…"

"Guys, chill. He's only been arrested. It doesn't mean he's guilty, although it won't matter. With someone like Anri presiding over the whole thing, the man will be dead before he takes a step in the court-" Izaya was forced to pause as his phone vibrated. He winked at the duo and pulled his phone out, smirking brighter at the name. "Ah, moshi moshi, Shinra! I haven't spoken to you since high school. How is that wife hunting going?"

"Izaya, I need your help!"

"Help? From little old me?" The brunet waved to his interns and shut his office door, settling in before his laptop. "What can I do for a friend such as you?"

"I have this friend…"

"Now Shinra, lying won't get you anywhere. Since when do you have friends?"

"Let me finish. This guy was another friend from Riara. We hung out whenever you weren't available." Which would have been all the time. "He got arrested this morning and he's refusing to let anyone try to help him. He even pushed away my wife!"

"The fiend!" Izaya matched some more cards on his computer screen and continued to half listen.

"I know, but he's still my friend and I would like you to help me free him. He's in deep."

"Deep?"

"He's so deep in false charges it isn't even funny."

"Sounds fascinating." Izaya pulled his scratchpad over and grabbed a pen. "So there's this friend of my dearest friend, sitting in a jail cell and you would like me to help him."

"Yes."

"And what would this gentleman's name be?"

"…"

"Shinra~! How can I help someone who's name I don't know?"

"…I know this may seem a bit… crazy, but there was no one else I could turn to who has as high a win-rate as you."

"Yes, yes. I'm a shark. Can I haz name now?"

"You know we're best friends right?"

"You make this sound so scary~!" He smirked more as Kida hurried in to drop off the newspaper. Izaya listened to his friend continue to prolong the reveal of a name as he glanced down at the newspaper. BARTENDER ARRESTED FOR MURDER SPREE

Heiwajima Shizuo, 24, was arrested for the murder of…

"Izaya, I'm sorry."

"Shinra, for the last time, I only need his name and I'll help your friend right out."

"…his name is Shizuo Heiwajima."

~.~

A/N: I've been hording this idea for a month! I typed some, deleted it, typed more, loved it. It's beautiful. It's stunning. It makes me so very proud to present to my dear readers. I've decided that this story shall be updated like so, ten or more reviews means quick update, less means slower update (or none for the week). It will be updated at least once a week, depending on interest. LET THE REVIEWS COMMENCE!