Sorry if you don't like it. This is my first songfic and I enjoyed making it. The first part is all about Natsume's thoughts. At the later part, he makes his decision. :)
********
Just Be Friends
(Just be friends All we gotta do
Just be friends It's time to say goodbye
Just be friends All we gotta do
Just be friends Just be friends...)
I come by the name of Natsume Hyuuga. I've recently made up my mind to court Mikan Sakura and succeeded. Even though we fight nonstop and quarrel a lot. There's that kind of love, you know? At first, I didn't really care about her. I found her a nuisance in my life and a great pain in the neck. As time passed by, I slowly grew to like her. Although she is the most idiotic person I've ever met in my whole life, I also found her passionate and kind. She was the kind of girl that was imperfect but can make the people around her feel whole.
It came to mind in the early morning yesterday
As if I gathered broken pieces of glass
What the heck is this? Drips from my cut finger
Is this what we really hoped for?
I sat on the chair and smiled at her. She was wearing an apron and was cooking food for me while my parents aren't at home. All she cooks are commoner's food though. I can't help but silently laugh at her. I told her I could cook my own food, but she insisted. I've never been cooked for before. It's the first time. My parents were always away and learned to survive on my own.
I looked around. The house felt warm, a pleasant feeling. Maybe it's because she's here? But I can't understand this feeling I'm having ever since we started going out. I feel useless. I feel weak. I don't like this feeling and I'm guessing it's because of her as well. I love her but this isn't what I thought would happen. I thought we'd be really happy. But what is this ugly feeling?
I knew it at the bottom of my heart, the hardest choice would be the best
My self-love refuses it and repeats self-contradiction
When can I tell it to you?
I knew our relationship was going nowhere but I want to hope. I knew the best would be to give up, but that wasn't my nature. I don't want to hurt her. I want this relationship to flourish. I knew we were going to separate sometime, but I don't want that to happen.
In the slowly decaying world, I'm struggling but it's the only way
Carving your faded smiles, I pulled out the plug
It's been a year now since this relationship has started. I keep hiding my sorrowed feelings and I can hear my soul crying. The pain is unbearable, but I'm bearing it for her. Just a little more and I wouldn't be able to hold it back. I have my limits and although I don't want to let go of this hand I'm holding, I can't seem to foresee a bright future for the both of us.
I screamed with my hoarse voice, rebound and resonance echo in vain
Nothing is left at the end of the unchained me
Coincidences that sticked us degenerates into the dark and are broken in pieces
"No matter what we do, life is just like that" I mumbled
Somebody's tears flow down the dried cheeks
I gulped down the urge to break up with her. We've been through so much and I think the memories are worth fighting for.
Now, we're just sitting side to side watching a show. It's romance with a heartbreaking end. I bite my lip as I realize that it portrays our love life. Fighting at first, the start of being friends, being more than friends, and now.. this. They both break up and leave each other. And without knowing it, tears fall down my eyes.
All we gotta do,Just be friends
It's time to say goodbye, Just be friends
All we gotta do,Just be friends
Just be friends, Just be friends...
Yesterday a tranquil night made me realize
It'd be useless to pick up fallen petals
Because it'd never bloom again
It's tiny but already dead on my palms
Our time stopped long ago
I shivered as a thunder roared in the sky. I sit up from my bed and look around. My gaze fell upon an old picture frame. I slowly grasped it and stared at the picture. I shouted as I threw the picture frame to the floor, shattering its glass. I stared at it for a few seconds then knelt down beside it. I got the picture and looked at it once again. It was a picture of Mikan and me when we were still just friends. I held it tightly. I didn't want to let go.
I remember the season we met first and your grace smile
Bringing up old issues, we hurt each other as badly as possible
Our minds are full of thorns
I meet her at the park. Seeing her with a warm smile on her face makes me remember our past. We always fought and I've always won. Insulting her always made me feel better, maybe it's because it's the only time she get to notice me so much. But slowly, she noticed me without me teasing her. She stands by my side and supports me although I didn't ask for it.
With this continuous dull relationship
Grievously I can't change my mind
I still love you, I don't wanna be apart from you, but I have to tell you
"What's wrong?" she asked me compassionately. I felt pain in my heart but this is what I've decided.
"Mikan, I'm sorry but... let's just be friends."
She stares at me, frozen. I stare back at her. A tear falls from her eyes and I knew it's over.
It's raining heavily in my mind, I'm stunned, I'm standing dead, my vision is blurry
Despite my determination, the pain is still penetrating
The bond between us has come apart and is dying away in everyday
Goodbye, my sweetheart, it's over
We have to leave without turning back
Crying, she picked up the things she left at my home. She brought with her the books I lent her and returned them without a sound. She retrieved the scarf she used on the winter that I confessed to her and left.
Just once, just once, if I could have my wish to come true
I'd be born again and again and go see you on those days
Without knowing it, I walked towards her apartment. It's been a week since we've split up, and somehow all I keep thinking about is her. I miss her smile and her stupid mistakes. I miss her voice. I miss her. All of a sudden, I see a shadow move inside your apartment. Maybe it's just my imagination, but I want to keep hoping.
I screamed with my hoarse voice, rebound and resonance echo in vain
Nothing is left at the end of the unchained me
The bond between us has come apart and is dying away in everyday
Goodbye, my sweetheart, it's over
We have to leave without turning back
I ran to her apartment and opened the door. It was locked so I kicked it open.
"MIKAN!" I screamed.
I looked around. She wasn't there.
It's all over
********
Hope you enjoyed! Please REVIEW ;)