1Author's Notes: okay, sorry I haven't updated All-Nighters yet, I swear I'll get around to it one of these days! Thanx for all of those reviews and the putting me and my story on your favorites and stuff! That rocked my friggin world! Okay, this was basically a little one shot I thought of last night, because I have a really bad sun burn and all of a sudden this scenario played out in my head. Basically just humor and fluff. Roy x Riza. Uh, yeah, that's it, Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I swear, if I owned it, I wouldn't be writing these stories on here; instead they'd be in the real anime/manga

For a flame alchemist, he sure couldn't take the heat very well. Roy sat at his desk on this 95 degree day, face drenched in sweat, military jacket unbuttoned revealing his light blue dress shirt, which was also unbuttoned, revealing his white undershirt.

Riza just tried to cope as best she could. I mean, it's not like she could just unbutton her shirts.

She was having an awful lot of fun though, staring at the colonel's well toned abs, which were blatantly visible due to the fact that his undershirt was a very light fabric and was sticking to his muscular chest.

Roy just sat at his desk panting, trying to at least get some of his work done. I swear, we will get a new air conditioner in here if it kills me, which is what this heat is gonna wind up doing to me, Roy thought to himself as he tried once again to pick up the same document he'd been trying to read for the past half an hour.

Riza also tried her best to do her work, but it wasn't the heat that was bothering her, oh no, this was much worse. Arg, I should've remembered to re-apply. Stupid sun. Why was I so careless?, Riza thought as she once again reached up to her shoulder, but quickly re-tracked her hand when she remembered the pain touching it caused her. She wrinkled her nose and glared at her shoulder.

Roy saw this whole exchange and couldn't help but wonder what just went on between his Lieutenant and her shoulder, What the hell was that? Why the fuck was she glaring at her shoulder? Should I ask? Do I risk getting shot at if I ask? Maybe I should ask... no, wait, I'll only ask if she does it again. Yeah, that sounds good.

Riza returned to reviewing documents and the such, reached up, scratched her shoulder, cont– AAAAAAHHHH! BAD IDEA! BAD IDEA!SHOULDER! PAIN! "gasp", Riza's hands immediately rocketed to her sides, her faced scrunched up, she tried as best as she could to hide the pain she felt but it was too late, Roy noticed.

As soon as she gasped, Roy looked up, only to see Riza looking like she just had her hand sliced off. "Lieutenant, are you okay!" Roy questioned as he immediately leapt from his seat and to her side.

"Uh huh, yes colonel, I'm fine, don't worry about me, go finish your work", Riza said between clenched teeth, trying to not look up at the colonel so he wouldn't see the pained expression on her face.

Roy was silent for a moment and then said, "Lieutenant Hawkeye, stand up."

Riza looked up at him questioningly, but obeyed. After all, he was her colonel.

"Now remove your military jacket", Roy continued, his face as still as stone.

Riza, feeling completely embarrassed, took her gun out of its holster and cocked it at the colonel's head, "what was that, colonel?"

Roy sweat dropped, but remained calm, "you know I'd never ask you to do something like that Lieutenant, but I have reason to believe you need help. Now, take off your military jacket."

"I'll be fine. Finish your work", Riza answered, with her gun still aimed at his head.

"Look! You admitted it! Now either you take the jacket off, or I take it off for you", Roy said. He remained completely serious though. One wrong move and he could wind up with a bullet or two imbedded in his brain.

"Colonel, worry about yourself, I'll be fi— WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Roy wasn't willing to take no for an answer. He needed to know if his Lieutenant was alright or not, so he took matters into his own hands. He grabbed her right wrist with his left hand and placed his right hand on her left hip, and turned her so that now she was up against the wall. He then proceeded to unbutton her military jacket with his right hand while leaving his left to rest on her hip. He never took his eyes off of hers.

Riza stared wide-eyed at her colonel as he proceeded to remove her jacket. He wasn't being fierce or anything, she had expected him to throw her rather roughly against the wall, but instead he had let her lean against it gently. The look in his eyes wasn't angry or anything like that either. It was just serious and concerned. She knew he didn't mean anything "inappropriate" by his actions.

Roy finished unbuttoning, and then proceeded to remove it. Riza winced when it scratched her shoulders, and Roy immediately ceased all of his actions. He just stared into her eyes, making sure she was okay, before looking down at her jacket, and trying to remove it once again, but being a little more careful this time around. Once it was off of her body, he draped it over her chair, and then proceeded to inspect her shoulders. What he saw left his mouth agape.

Riza's shoulders were completely sun-burnt. It looked almost as if someone had dumped her chest and shoulders with a bucket of blood. Though her little black tank top blocked some of it, he could see that the sunburn went from her shoulders past the extent of what her shirt covered. He now began to see the traces of it on her face, though maybe she was just blushing, Roy thought. Now he knew why she looked to be in so much pain. The burn continued down to her elbows on both arms. He put both of his hands on her waist and guided her so that she would turn around. Her back was also a sunburnt mess. He could clearly make out the lines of whatever she was wearing, and it appeared to be some sort of bathing suit. His agape mouth turned into a deep frown. He turned Riza around again so that she was facing him once more.

"I took Hayate to the beach yesterday, since it was so hot out, but I forgot to re-apply my sun-screen after coming out of the water", Riza told him, half embarrassed, all the while looking at the floor.

Roy just continued to look at her before he finally thought of something that could possibly help the situation. "Wait here, but don't put on the jacket yet. I'll be back in a minute", Roy said before dashing out the door. Riza just continued to stand there, feeling ashamed that something as dumb as a sunburn could hurt her so horribly.

Just as Roy said, he was back in a minute, and he had a large plastic bottle with strange green gel in it. He made sure to close the office door before walking back over to Riza.

"Okay, now I need you to take off that tank top before I put this stuff on you."

"Ummm..."

"Just do it"

"...Yes colonel..."

Riza proceeded to try and lift off the tank top, but her arms hurt too much, and she gasped in pain, her face tightening. Roy saw this, and, placing the bottle on her desk, slipped his hands under the tank top and lifted it over Riza's head. He laid it on top of her military jacket.

Now Riza was left to stand in front of the colonel in nothing more than her uniform pants and her simple black bra. God, please don't let anyone walk in on us. I'd never live this down, she spoke to herself.

Roy removed his gloves, picked up the bottle, squeezed a little of the green gel onto his hand, and proceeded to rub it on Riza's shoulder.

At first she shuddered and winced, the freezing cold gel both offered relief and a new sense of pain at the same time. Roy just continued applying the gel to her shoulder and chest, then he turned her around and rubbed it on her back, all the while trying his hardest to keep a straight face. He knew she'd kill him if she even sensed that he was secretly enjoying this, so he kept silent. He was almost done, silently sighing that this once in a lifetime chance was coming to an end. He rubbed the gel on the last spot of red skin, and then guided her to turn around and face him once again. "Okay, all done. But you have to let it dry first, so wait a couple of minutes before you put your shirt back on", Roy said to her, his charcoal eyes holding just the slightest bit off sadness in them.

Riza smiled slightly at him and said, "thank you colonel, I really appreciate your concern for me."

"Anything for my Lieutenant", Roy said, also smiling now. He then turned around, preparing to return the bottle to it's original spot, but he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He immediately turned around to face Riza again, who was blushing slightly, when suddenly her lips were pressed against his; almost desperately. Roy was stunned for but a second, before he passionately returned the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist, while she attempted to wrap her arms around his neck, but to no avail, so she instead opted for just putting her arms up against his chest.

The kiss deepened, Roy began massaging the inside of Riza's mouth with his tongue. I guess all of those women weren't flocking to him for nothing, he's really good at this, Riza thought to herself as she was taken in by the wonderful feeling of having finally kissed the one man she wanted more than anything else. They just stood there, wrapped in eachother's arms, occasionally breaking the kiss for a breath or two, but never completely ceasing. Riza ran her hand up and down Roy's chest, exploring his chiseled abs with her finger tips. Roy massaged the small of Riza's back, occasionally letting his hand stray even farther down.

After a little bit longer, they finally broke the kiss. Riza stepped back a bit, blushing madly. She turned her gaze to the side, wrapping her arms around her stomach.

Roy continued to stare at her though. He watched her face, her eyes, the way her cheeks went from sunburnt to flustered. He chuckled a bit, and his boyish grin played across his face. He reached over and placed his hand under Riza's chin, directing her gaze at him. Now her eyes were wide with questioning. Roy stroked her cheek, watching as a small smile began to form on her lips. He placed his other hand on her side, rubbing it gently. He could feel goose-bumps forming on her skin.

Riza just gazed into his charcoal eyes; those black, endless eyes. They said so little and yet said so much. She reached up, bearing the pain as well as she could, and placed her hand on his cheek. She let it rest there before moving it up higher so that it now rested in his hair, letting her fingers rummage through his midnight locks. This has to be a dream, she thought to herself, there's no way this would ever happen in real life. Me, Riza Hawkeye, with colonel Roy Mustang? The most notorious womanizer in Amestris? But, I really do want it to be true. I've waited so long for this, no matter how wrong it seems.

Finally, the colonel spoke up in that sensuous baritone voice that made the hair stand up on the back of Riza's neck, "Lieutena– Riza, I wanted to tell you something, something I've been waiting to tell you for a very long time now. Riza, I —" "Hey hey, colonel! I've got more paperwork for ya! Haha, stupid paper work, and you get stuck with all... of... i..t..." Havok trailed off, dropping the stack of papers he had had in his arms, his cigarette falling to the ground. Roy immediately slipped on his alchemic glove and prepared to snap, his opposite hand never leaving Riza's cheek.

"Havok, have you ever heard of KNOCKING! Or do you live in a fucking BARN!", Havok didn't know what to do, nor did he have time to figure it out. A blaze of fire came from the colonel's fingers, and went straight for Havok. Havok did his best to duck and run, barely missing the gigantic flame. He slammed the door shut behind him.

"I swear to god if that man repeats ANY of what he just saw to ANYONE I will burn his fucking TESTICLES OFF!", Roy fumed as he continued to stare in the direction of the door. He didn't even realize that Riza had now turned an even brighter shade of red.

"Ohmigod, he saw me in my bra... and I was in your arms... we could be fired... you'll never become fuhrer... I'll lose my job... think of the rumors..."Riza stared wide-eyed at Roy, not knowing what to do. Roy saw how much this troubled her and placed a finger to her lips, "sssshhh, it's ok, it'll all be ok I swear. Havok wouldn't dare tell a soul about this. He knows it's too dangerous to play with a flame alchemist and the best sharp-shooter in all of Amestris. Trust me, no one will know." and just to re-assure her, he bent down and quickly brushed his lips against hers.

"Now, I'll help you get your shirt and jacket back on, and then we're going to go on a little... mission. Sound good?"

"Yes colonel, thank you", Riza said, giving a small smile.

So Roy proceeded to help Riza slip back on her tank top, then he helped her to put on and button her uniform jacket. He too buttoned up his dress shirt and uniform jacket. They then headed towards the door, readying gloves and guns.

It didn't take very long to find Havok, they just had to follow the scent of burnt hair. They eventually found him in Hughes' office, along with Farman, Armstrong, Breda, and Fuery.All of the men seemed to have been placing money on Hughes' desk. Some taking the money, some dishing it out.As soon as they heard the door open, all of the men jumped, knowing exactly what was coming.

Roy stepped up first, a calm expression on his face, "alright men, what's the bet for?" when no one answered, Roy continued, "the first person to tell me gets to leave unharmed". Armstrong immediately raised his hand, knowing the full extent of what was going to happen to him if he didn't leave... now, "Sir, the bet was about how long it would take you and Lieutenant Hawkeye to finally... hook up." Roy gritted his teeth and began to rub his temples, "Alright Armstrong, thank you for your help. You have permission to leave now." "Thank you, colonel. My deepest apologies", and with that, Armstrong fled from the room, his random sparkles not very far behind.

The other men just gulped. They knew their fate, and they knew there was no way to avoid it.

"Lieutenant, ready on my command", Roy said over his shoulder.

Riza stepped up so that now she was right next to him. She raised her gun.

Roy raised his hand and got ready to snap.

"Oh my dear god, we're gonna die, aren't we", Fuery asked shakily.

"Yes, yes we are", replied Farman, bowing his head and closing his eyes.

"FIRE!", shouted Roy.

All of the men screamed like little school girls in a haunted house. They ran around the room, trying to hide behind anything they could find. The smell of urine filled the air. They only began to slow their scramble when they realized

no guns had been fired

and

no flames had been unleashed.

Instead, Roy and Riza just stood there, laughing. Roy was holding a video camera.

When they finally finished laughing, Roy looked at all of them and their current state of being and said, "if you tell anyone about Lieutenant Hawkeye and I, this video will be shown to every living thing in Amistris. Oh and, Breda, you might want to go get cleaned up, you seem to have wet yourself." With that, Roy and Riza swiftly exited the room, chuckling slightly as they did so.

When they returned to their office, Mustang shut the door and placed the video camera on his desk. That boyish grin once again present on his face, he looked Riza straight in the eyes and said, "so, where was I? Ah yes." He finished as he swept Riza into his arms, kissing her softly, and then whispering in her ear, "by the way, I love you."

Author's Note - okay, that was a really long one-shot. Well, long for me at least. Anyway, R&R, I like to hear what people think! I know this was pretty crappy, and it sounds a lot like my other story, but, whatever, we'll just call it my "technique". The whole pose towards the end when Havok walks in on them was inspired by a fanart I saw not too long ago on this website called officelove. Here's the link, it's a mad cool site: http // officelove . Fullmetal - alchemist . com

Just take out the spaces and shit. Well, I hope you enjoyed! LATER!