The uptown 1 train pulled up to the platform and wheezed as it came to a stop. He usually took either the 2 or 3 express train right to 14th St., but today, he had all the time in the world. The doors sighed open and he stepped into the mostly-full car. Finding a space in the back, he grabbed the pole and held on.
Today had been one of those days where everything just seemed…gray. It didn't help that it had rained all night. The clouds still lingered and added to the overall sense of gloom.
Bobby leaned on the pole and looked around the car. The trained pulled up at the Franklin St. stop and he watched the people get on and off. Glancing upwards, he read the ads that ran along the top of the car. The Bronx Zoo. School of Visual Arts. Budweiser in both English and Spanish. Ad campaigns for beer companies always portrayed the people in them as being happy, carefree. That's how they get you to buy the stuff. Budweiser hardly tastes good, so why else would anyone buy it? They make you think that if you drink their beer, all your problems will go away. Your job doesn't really want to bring you down, your friends still trust you, you didn't willingly break your girlfriends heart…twice.
He sighed and pulled his attention away from the ads. Realizing the train had stopped, he looked out the window. Canal St. He had decided to take the local today because where was the big rush to get home? There wasn't anything waiting for him there. Just a lot of thinking about how he'd gotten himself in the state he was in. At least now he was a little bit distracted.
The subway was a colorful palette of interesting people. He looked around, gaze coming to fall upon a small family sitting not far from him. Two parents, 2.5 kids. All that was missing was the dog. The husband was probably a lawyer. In between rounds of peek-a-boo with the baby, he would lean over and talk to his wife. She was reading a book about criminal law and he kept pointing at the pages. He would say something to her and she would nod understandingly.
Houston St. Beside him, a woman said, "Houston St., this is it." The man next to her glanced out the window and stood up. Bobby chuckled softly and shook his head. Tourists always pronounced it like the city in Texas. The couple got off the train with only seconds to spare as the doors closed behind them.
He looked around again, this time his eyes fell on a couple by the doors and his heart leapt into his throat. They were both holding onto the ceiling-to-floor pole, chatting. The woman had long, wavy, dark hair and she was animatedly gesturing with her free hand. He hadn't seen her get on and he didn't recognize the man she was with. Part of him wished she would look over and part of him wished she'd get off at the next stop.
The train pulled up at the Christopher St./NYU stop. Only a few people got off and the car filled up as students piled in. The train jerked as it starting moving again and she glanced over as she fought to keep her balance. He met her gaze and she smiled sadly at him. There was so much behind her eyes, forgiveness, apology, and love. The hardest part was that he couldn't go over to her. He couldn't pull her into his arms and tangle his fingers in his hair like he had done so many times before. His job was forcing him to pretend like he didn't know her, didn't love her.
Her companion kept talking to her, but she wasn't listening anymore. She kept her eyes focused on him. The rest of the people on the train faded into the background. What were the odds that he would run into her on a subway? He smiled back. Despite not being able to touch her, to interact with her, just seeing her smile was enough to change his outlook on the day.
14th St. came faster than all the others had. He moved forward, going to stand by the doors. He situated himself so that she was beside him, but facing the opposite way. He could feel her body pressed up against his, using the cramped train car as an excuse. She dropped her chin to her shoulder and flicked her eyes up to his, smiling.
"I love you," she whispered into her shoulder.
He moved his hand slightly, taking hers, and lacing their fingers together. He glanced sideways, smiled, and gave her hand a light squeeze as the train pulled up at the platform. The doors slid open and he reluctantly let go of her hand, getting off the train with most of the other people. He didn't look behind him, but he knew she was watching him go. Climbing the steps up to street level, Bobby looked up at the sky, noting that the sun had come out. Maybe things weren't so bad after all.