hey, guess who. sorry it took so long, ok this story is my story really, minus certain parts.

I just found out that my dad is dying of two different types of cancer. so I cant always write but, I need to write it out.

so this is my story I guess.

enjoy:

Sakuras pov:

A bright light shined through my windows, groaning I rolled over. I refused to wake up now; I had been having such a good dream. With my eyes glued shut, I heard my little sisters giggle. Oh dear god what did they have planned now?

"Sakura, time to get up"

"go away" I groaned, just let me sleep.

Sakura, it means cherry blossom, that's what I am a cherry blossom. Except I can't sleep all winter, believe me I've tried.

"Sakura, you have to get up, dads on the phone"

"and your point?"

So that's why deedle dum and deedle dee were giggling, dad made them laugh.

"Sakura it's serious get up"

"What's serious mum? He wants to talk to me so I have to sit there and listen to why I am not good enough? Thanks, but I'm gonna pass"

"Sakura get up now, or you will lose your computer."

"Okay, okay. Off I go to the land of holier than thou, oh what fun."

I climbed out of bed slowly, my head started to spin and my legs got weaker. But that's what happened every morning, I think it was my body throwing a tanti for getting out of bed. I hadn't talked to dad in months, and there was a reason. What? You wanted a flashback or an explanation? Well deal with it, the world is too hard to explain and I can't be bothered remembering. I hobbled over to my mirror, it was a rule I had. I would not leave my room without seeing what I look like first; my shoulder length honey brown hair was all knotted and messy. My face was kind of oily but I had just woken up, my eyes weren't fully open. But I could see my green eyes through my lashes, they were bloodshot.

Oh no, great I had clearly had that dream again. No I won't tell you what it is, I don't just open my mouth and let the secrets spill out. Sorry I don't work that way, I pulled a brush through my hair till it wasn't as messy and knotted as before. I washed my face, and pulled on my black dressing gown.

Ok, I am ready to face the devil. I smirk at my own humour, it's a private joke. When someone tells me that I'm evil or mean I say 'I should hope so, my dad's the devil, cant disappoint him now could I'

I walk into the kitchen and plop myself down at the far end, and wait. The phone was placed in the centre of the table, the moment he was put on speaker he began. "girls, I don't want to worry you but daddy is sick" girls? Daddy? He must be in a lot of shit to call us that, of course Katuo and Jinuo love the attention. We all know that when he says girls I am not included, "I am in hospital at the moment, I have been here all week" Hospital? Crap did he get caught in another forklift race? Or is there now a law that you can beat up jackasses? Oh I hope he has a terminal illness, the bastard deserves it. "I'm going to say a word and you may get upset, but I am going to be fine" fine? He always says that when something bad is going to happen, it means the opposite. "Girls, Sakura. I have cancer" Cancer?

please review, even if its not nice. I just need to know that I am not alone.