Author's Note
Hey all! This is a one-shot for a certain Golden Pair-loving reader of mine. That's right, Milana16, this one's for you! Had a bunch of laughs while writing it, hope you enjoy it just as well.
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis and its characters.
Thunder rumbled through the darkened sky, occasionally illuminated by piercing bolts of lightning. The storm had waged through the previous night, and now continued into the day. The rain pattered on the windows, fat droplets racing each other to reach the puddles below.
People stopped to stare at the sight within the school. While Seishun Gakuen was quiet infamous for the unique characters of the students that attended it, this particular turn of events was quite unheard of. Girls paused in their gossip and boys halted all rough-housing as they watched one specific red-headed acrobat stalk through the hallways.
Kikumaru Eiji turned his head, glaring at his peers. "What're all of you looking out?" he growled darkly. "If any of you have a problem with me, you'd better step forward now, and we'll deal with this like real men!"
The staring students gasped, backing away slowly. The acrobat turned as a hand lightly touched his shoulder. A smiling brown-haired tensai stood behind his best friend. "Eiji," Fuji said smoothly. "You're scaring everyone away."
The growing crowd gasped as Kikumaru wrenched Fuji's hand off of his shoulder, twisting it behind Fuji's back and slamming the tensai into the ground. "You're one to talk!" he snarled. "You think you're so cool with that stupid smile and your closed eyes, thinking you can scare people with your sadistic ways! Well, I ain't scared of you, ya little pansy!"
Fuji's eyes opened wide as he struggled to get out of his supposed-best friend's grip. "Pansy?" he gasped.
"Ah? What's going on?"
The crowd parted, allowing a bun-toting Momoshirou to pass by. Echizen trailed after the taller Regular, not entirely interested in the going-ons of the school. "Ah, Eiji-senpai?" Momoshirou said, dropping his buns and running over to the older Regulars. "What are you doing to Fuji-senpai? You're hurting him!"
As Momoshirou pried the hands off of Fuji's back, Kikumaru whirled around instead to grab Momoshirou by the collar. "Stay out of other people's business, you giant oaf!" he shouted. "Just go back to eating all the time like the lazy fat-ass you are!"
"What did you call me…?" Momoshirou asked, his eyes wide with shock as he gasped for air. Echizen, who couldn't bear to see his best friend in such a position ran up to Kikumaru.
"Kikumaru-senpai, let Momo-senpai go!" he demanded coolly, standing behind the acrobat.
The enraged redhead turned to the first year, dropping Momoshirou as he forgot him for his new target. Kikumaru took walked straight up to the little first year until he towered threateningly over his head. "Who do you think you are, brat?" he hissed. "You tryin' to give the great Kikumaru-sama orders?"
Echizen glared up at his senpai. Meanwhile, Momoshirou moved to help Fuji off of the ground.
"What's going on here?" a commanding voice rang out. The crowd parted once again, allowing Tezuka, Inui, Kaidou, and Kawamura to enter the scene.
"This is most illogical behavior for you, Kikumaru-kun," Inui said, scribbling away in his notebook. "Has anything happened lately? This is good data."
Kikumaru roughly shoved Echizen aside, stalking over to Inui. He knocked down the notebook that Inui held in his hands. "You and your data! You're just creepy, you computer-freak!" He spat in Inui's glasses.
"Why you-" Kaidou hissed, rushing to his senpai's defense. "Just what do you think you're doing?!"
Kikumaru shoved his face up in Kaidou's face. "Like you have the right to talk to me, you creepy snake!" he shouted. "What's with your hissing anyway? We all know you're soft at heart! You're even more of a pansy than Fuji is!"
Kaidou hissed, balling his hands into fists. "What did you call me?!" he shouted angrily, drawing back one fist in preparation to punch the redheaded acrobat.
"Ah, Kaidou, no!" Kawamura rushed forward to restrain Kaidou.
Kikumaru laughed. "You're all just a bunch of pansies! Especially you, Taka!"
"That's enough!" Tezuka's voice rang out over the racket of the crowd. "Kikumaru, 50 laps around the building!"
The crowd grew silent, as Kikumaru's face turned down towards the ground. Slowly, the acrobat stepped towards his captain. Eyes still cast downwards, Kikumaru placed his hands on Tezuka's shoulders…
Bam! Kikumaru pulled Tezuka forward, flipped him over his own shoulder, and slammed the captain into the ground. "How about you do 50 laps in the last circle of hell?!" he shouted. The other Regulars cried out at seeing their captain on the ground.
"Buchou!"
"Daijoubu?"
"Tezuka-buchou!"
"OH NO, BABY!"
Kikumaru laughed throughout all of it. The crowd took another collective step backwards as the Seigaku regulars huddled together around their fallen captain, unsure of what to do.
"Eiji?"
The crowd parted yet again, allowing the latest speaker to walk into the circle. "Eiji, what are you doing?"
"What does it look like?!" Kikumaru spat at his partner. "It's none of your business anyway!"
The lightning flashed once more, a loud clap of thunder chasing behind it.
"Eiji…" Oishi said, walking up to the raging redhead. "You didn't sleep well last night, did you?"
"EH?!" The crowd gasped. What did this have to do with the rampage that the acrobat was currently on.
"What does it look like?!" Kikumaru shouted, flailing his arms through the air. "The stupid lightning and stupid thunder wouldn't shut up! How could anybody sleep through that?!"
In a motion so fast and so well-practiced that no one could see it clearly, Oishi reached out with his right hand and pinched the back of Kikumaru's neck, who slumped over, passed out cold. Oishi caught the acrobat as he fell, slinging him over his shoulder effortlessly. "Nap time for you," Oishi said cheerfully, turning around and walking back down the hall, toting the unconscious Kikumaru.
The rest of the Seigaku regulars stared at the retreating back of the mother hen and shivered. A sleep-deprived and grump Kikumaru Eiji certainly was scary… But after that day, no one would dare to mess with Seishun Gakuen's mother hen, Oishi Syuichirou, ever again.