MY TOTALLY AWEOSME AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my VERY FIRST FANFICTION, YO!! 3 ::takes a picture && posts it all over her MySpace:: I was pretty blurry on how to start this weird-o story so if you hate the intro then give some advice when (or if v.v) you review PETTY PEAZ! ;D

The Adventures of Vincent && His Cape

Chapter 1—Not Your Day!

Vincent Valentine was in Tifa's Seventh Heaven. Why you ask? Sure he was friends with Tifa and all but he thought he'd give his friends the unbelievable joy of seeing the tall vampire stand in the corner of a very social place where he was rarely seen. After all, excessive lonelyness and extreme boredom triggers many odd behaviors . . .

(TIME FOR A FLASHBACK!)

He lay perched on a fallen tree over a bank, one foot hanging limp while the other leg was perched as resting place for his head. Vincent had decided to take a stroll to think about some things but was side tracked. It's not like he could think of anything else to do anyways! He had done everything he knew of doing. He shined his guns and his metal claw, had a private target practice, painted a picture of the lake, beat himself at a game of chess 128 times in a row, read all his books as well as written some, EVERYTHING!

Vincent watched his cape swung limply in that wind with his red wine eyes intently. The cape match the color of his eyes beautifully and the hem of the cape was straight and clean. No tatters or holes to be seen in the thick material.

Keeping his gaze on the cape he drew his gun from his belt. What was he doing? He didn't know anymore. All he knew was that even a little shimmer of something different would be enough to make him jump up and down and clap his hands like a little girl.

With that he pointed the gun at the clean hem of his cape and pulled the trigger a good nine or ten times with a loud BANG leaving distinct bullet holes in his cape.

Now he looked at the tail of his cape. 'Wow,' Vincent thought to himself, 'I must be extremely unoccupied to have done that to my own clothing.' He stared at the now tattered cape with the same expression. "I am so bored." Vincent said in a low, depressed voice to no one particular.

(LET'S GO BACK TO THE PRESENT!)

"Hey Vincent! You look like you're about to fall over there! How about you come sit down? I'll get you a drink." Tifa offered in a friendly voice that seemed to drag him out of his none-too-exciting flashback.

"I think I'm fine where I am. I thank you though for showing such concern and generosity towards me though." Vincent humbly replied back to the young brunette.

"Well, okay. Only if you insist on standing in the corner like a statue," With that Tifa walked off with a tray of drinks to a table of customers.

He stood there, looking around at the extremely crowed bar. From where he stood it looked like the building was packed wall-to-wall with a waitresses with a tray tried to weave herself around each table. He wondered why she just didn't just get a separate building to serve customers in and live in. He continued think, 'You'd think with two jobs you'd pull enough money to--!"

A slight BUMP!, a freezing cold SPLASH!, and a silencing CRASH! cut him off from his thoughts.

He looked down at his now alcohol drenched cape. The front turned from a dark red to almost black color with the liquid and the smell alone teased him on the border line of a future head ache.

"Oh no! Vincent! I'm so sorry! I can't believe I could be so clumsy! I'm truly sorry, Vincent. Here, let me—" Tifa tried to apologize.

"It's perfectly fine, Tifa. Please do not worry about it. It will come out" I hope…

With a sigh he looked at the woman and excused himself out of the bar that was bursting from the seams to go get so fresh air and bid her a good day.

Oh how it was his f&#ing day.

(End of Chapter 1 :B)

MY TOTALLY AWESOME AUTHOR'S NOTES: I know this wasn't the funny chapter…Nor was it even the good chapter v.v … But I needed a starting place :D So Vincent's having so troubles keeping stains away…What won't he be able to keep away in the future? Fangirls? Little girls? Creepy old ladies? PLEASE REVIEW!