Bella swan- the incredible flying pixie- the tale of a pixie princess and a rubber chicken.
Edward was highly anxious. It had been a while since he had seen or heard from Bella. He was afraid that they had departed on bad terms (he was sure that he had really ruined things this time trying to eat her...again). He was going to go and see her to apologize for what he had (almost) done.
He was currently heading in the direction of their special meadow, blood red roses in one hand, a rubber chicken in the other. He soon drew near the clearing, the long grass parting in his glistening wake. As he drew nearer he noticed a loud flapping sound, as if a very large and distressed bird was struggling in the clearing ahead of him. And naturally he thought, what any sane person (or glistening fairy princess) would think... KFC! Edward picked up the pace a bit, the thought offast food spuring him on, (he had heard many rumours and tales concerning this magical food) perhaps this fastfood would provide more of a challenge than his usual pickings of rubber chickens and the ever vigilant sloth.
When he reached the clearing however, he found himself highly disappointed. There were no fast foods or KFCs in sight. He was just giving up hope, when, to his utter astonishment, he heard a voice. This distant voice was singing... badly. He was in the process of blocking his ears, when, as abruptly as it had begun, it stopped. A brief silence ensued. Then, in a flurry of feathers, leaves, and loud series of crashes, something flew at great speed out of the surrounding forest only to flap desperately and end up in a useless heap in the centre of the meadow. A muffled ouch soon followed.
Edward, being slightly bewildered by this sudden, and... Irregular entrance. Dropped the flowers and rubber chicken (to its loud and vigorous protests), and ran with great haste in the direction of the bizarre incident. The sparkling pixie princess was nearing the spot, when, to his great surprise, who should soar out of the grass? None other than his estranged girlfriend/fiancé/snack; Bella swan, who began to, to his utter bemusement, merrily flutter around his head, singing I believe I can fly at the top of her lungs. And, just as Bella launched into a shrill chorus of I believe in a thing called love. Edward did the only thing one could do...
He bravely fainted.