From the moment he had been woken up, Arnold Rimmer just knew something was coming. He knew something would happen to disrupt the relevant calm he, Lister, Kryten and the Cat had experienced in the last few weeks. It started when the Cat had hailed their quarters saying he could smell something headed straight for them. Rimmer and Lister had abandoned their game of poker and met the Cat and Kryten in the Drive Room. "Incoming, it's a pod, but that's all I can get from it. No smell what-so-ever," Cat sounded frustrated with his sense of smell.
"Holly, scan that pod will you, see if you can make sense of what's inside," Rimmer instructed as he and Lister switched their panels to 'manual' from 'auto'.
"It's a stasis pod Arnold," Holly said after a moment.
"A stasis pod?" Lister asked, "that explains why Cat couldn't smell anything else. Can you tell what's inside Holl', or where it's from?"
"From Earth, the date is just after the crew got wiped. Gordon- you're not gonna believe this lads. It's addressed to Arnold."
"Addressed to me?" Rimmer's face screwed in confusion. "Why would it be addressed to me?"
"If I told you you'd never believe me Arn, I'm bringing it in."
"Holly you're about as useful as condom machine in the Vatican." Rimmer said rolling his eyes and getting to his feet. Lister, Kryten and the Cat followed him down to the cargo bay. The pod was stood there, a box on top of it. The box opened as they approached, a letter lay inside.
"Arnold,
We believe this belongs to you. It was dropped off with the contents of the pod and we had it sent out immediately. We are told it's an experimental form of travel, so if it doesn't work, not to worry. We've told the space corps to deduct it from your salary.
Love mum and dad.
P.S. Clearly you weren't trying hard enough."
Rimmer read the letter out loud. "Well that told us nothing, other than what utter arses my parents were. Holly open it up."
"Might want to brace yourself Arn, it's a lot to take in this."
"Holly just open it man," Lister said, sensing Rimmer's anxiety and frustration over the matter.
The clasps released, and the outer shell opened to reveal a small stasis booth. In the top there was a glass panel and the four crewmen leaned in to take a closer look. Inside laid the peaceful stasis-sleeping form of an infant, with Rimmer's curls crowning her head and sucking her thumb. Lister's eyes flickered to Rimmer's face as emotions fought over his features. His face softened, he smiled, his nostrils flared in anger, his brown furrowed, confused, then his smile returned before fear flashed over his features.
Lister stepped in, "we should take this up to the medical bay, before we bring her out of there." Rimmer, Lister and Kryten carried the pod carefully, it was light and easy to carry. In the lab Kryten plugged some wires into the pod which downloaded any pre-programmed information.
"Baby Rimmer - unnamed; Female; Age: 14 weeks; Mother: Yvonne McGruder – Deceased; Father: Arnold Rimmer." Kryten stopped reading and looked over to Rimmer who appeared in deep thought.
"So this is why McGruder left the ship," Rimmer mumbled to himself. Some part of him had always taken it personally when she had left after their brief liaison. She must have been pregnant. "Does it say how she died?"
"Post-natal complications," Kryten said grimly.
Rimmer shut his eyes for a moment, processing the masses of new information. He laid his hand on the glass pane, that was his child in there. A child he had made. A child who'd lost her mother. A child who had been-, wait, 14 weeks, experimental transport. His parents had sent her to him, not knowing whether they would ever meet, let alone if she would survive. His nostrils flared once more in fury. If he had hated his parents before – and he had – now they were dead to him. "Please excuse me, I need a moment, don't – don't open it until I get back," he said and strode out of the medi-lab.
Lister found him an hour later in the space viewing dome on top of Red Dwarf, legs dangling through the railings. He sat silently beside him. For a long while, they said nothing. "I guess congrats are in order," Lister said, breaking the silence.
"I suppose," Rimmer replied softly. His red-rimmed eyes suggested he'd been crying, something he was capable of in his hard-light form.
"Anything you want to talk about?"
"I- I just never thought they thought so little of me."
"How'd you mean?"
"Well they sent her, my daughter, in experimental transport, not caring whether or not she found me, and I can guarantee you why."
"Why?"
"She's female Lister. That last line in their letter, 'Clearly you weren't trying hard enough,' Rimmer's aren't supposed to have girls, according to my father. They sent her because they didn't care. They didn't love her and they never would."
"But you can," Lister replied. "You can love her and care for her, give her a life they would have denied her."
"How can I? All my father talked about was how to raise boys. Girls never came into it."
"Well no offence, but all that your dad used to say is utter smeg. Look at how you turned out, would you want this for your own kid?"
"No, of course not-" it began to dawn upon Rimmer just how much damage his father had done to his life. What would he have known about bringing up a child if she'd been a boy? As much as he did now. Nothing. "You're right Lister. I'm her father, you worked it out with the boys. Surely I can do it for her."
"An' am gonna be right here wi' ya." Lister clapped him on the shoulder and got back to his feet.
"Thanks Lister, really, thank you," Rimmer said as Lister helped him to his feet.
"You're welcome, now come on, I know a little lady who's probably in the middle of the longest nap she'll ever take." Rimmer smiled as Lister took his hand firmly in his to walk back through the ship. After meeting Legion and becoming hard-light Rimmer had avoided Lister, as much as it pained his touch-starved self to do so, as his body had about as much subtlety as a teenage boy whose mother makes him sit in a waiting area of a Victoria's Secret changing room. Lister confronted him after three weeks and things had progressed rapidly from there.
They arrived back at the medi-lab, the Cat was nowhere in sight, Kryten was taking readings from the pod. "She, um, wasn't named?" Rimmer asked.
"No sir," Kryten confirmed.
Rimmer nodded and sighed, job number 1. He tried to think of names for her. He gazed down at her sleeping form, thinking of a name, a perfect name for her. A name for his little girl. "Luna," he said softly, "Luna Yvonne Rimmer," he repeated louder. Lister squeezed his hand.
"Beautiful name man." Rimmer smiled, not taking his gaze from his daughter.
"Ready when you are Kryten," he said, straightening up and bracing himself. Kryten typed away at a console and they heard the hsss as the pod opened. The lid began to slide up, Luna began sucking her thumb, her chest moving up and down as she slept soundly. Rimmer let go of Lister's hand and perched on the stool closer to the pod. Stretching out his fingers he delicately caressed her cheek and curls. "Hello Luna," he said softly, "I'm your father, you've been lost for a very long time, but we found each other," he spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb her slumber. Her free hand reached up to where he was stroking her curls and wrapped her tiny fingers around one of his. Lister smiled, pulled up a stool and rested his hand on Rimmer's shoulder, Rimmer put his own free hand on top of his. "This is Lister, my boyfriend," he glanced sideways, they'd never given their relationship labels, who did they need them for? Now however, seemed time to say what he felt.
"Hello sweetheart," Lister said softly.
"I'll leave you sirs alone," Kryten cut in quietly, "I'm going to look through the ship, see if I can find supplies we'll need now Miss Luna is with us."
"OK, thanks Krytes," Lister said, returning his gaze to Luna, still peacefully asleep. As Rimmer continued to sit, mesmerised by her, Lister began inspecting the other contents of the pod. Nappies, blankets, baby essentials and another letter. It had writing in a hand Lister was unfamiliar with. It had been opened previously, but the script read 'Arnold.' He brought it to Rimmer's attention.
"That's her mother's handwriting." He said, opening the letter. Inside were scan photos, details about the pregnancy and the reason for the complications. She apologized for having their daughter sent to his parents', but she was raised in care and didn't want that for their baby. There was also a photograph, faded but clear, Yvonne holding Luna after she was born. He held it to his heart and placed it beside Luna. It dawned on him that Luna hadn't been held lovingly since her mother passed. He had no doubt his parents would have held her, but not with love. Not with feelings. He stood over her, trying to work out the best way to lift her into his arms. Desperate for her to feel loved. Lister planted a hand on his shoulder, sensing his hesitation and made him sit, telling him to get his arms ready.
Gently as he could, Lister lifted Luna and transferred her to Rimmer's arms. Her face scrunched up as she was moved but once Lister guided Rimmer's arms into a more relaxed position, her thumb found her lips and she curled into him.
The next few hours were spent with Lister teaching Rimmer how to do basic things for Luna. Yes, Rimmer had been around with Jim and Bexley, but he had been soft-light and unable to be of any help. Unlike with Astronavigation, in parenting, Rimmer was a quick study and picked up what Lister was saying quickly. After the computer had given Luna the once over and confirmed she was in good health, Rimmer and Lister took her back to their quarters. Not the bunk room, they had long-since moved out of there and repurposed the space. They found Kryten had constructed several new pieces of furniture. A cot, changing table, play area that would prevent her from leaving the room alone once she was mobile. They found a portable basket-type thing they would be able to have with them wherever one of them was on the ship. Luna would never be alone, the idea made Rimmer smile as he remembered his own childhood, alone in his large room, corridors away from his mother and father.
It had been a long day and he could see the tiredness on Lister's face. As a hologram, Rimmer didn't strictly speaking, need sleep, but he often did, out of habit and wanting to spend time with Lister. Lister changed for bed while Rimmer sat in the new rocking chair with Luna. "Am gonna turn in, let you two spend some time together. Wake me if you need anythin'" Lister told him, "'Night," Lister kissed Rimmer's hard-light curls and then Luna's.
"I will. Goodnight Lister," he said softly. Rimmer remained in the rocking chair for a short while before deciding to take Luna on a walk, carrying her around the immediate area. He arrived in his old quarters he'd originally shared with Lister, repurposed as a common area with a kitchenette. Kryten had appeared to have added several things to this room as well. Luna woke in Rimmer's arms and for a long minute she gazed at her new surroundings and Rimmer before her eyes began to fill with tears and she let out a whimper. Rimmer spoke to her, soothingly but she began to cry anyway.
He was about to panic when everything Lister had taught him flooded his brain at once. Settling her on a sofa he checked if she needed changing, dry and clean, thankfully. He lifted her once more and began remembering the process of making a bottle. Warm-sterilized water, check, formula, check, shake well, check, check temperature… Hmm, that one would be tricky. It was hard for him to gage temperature as a hologram. He would need to find some sort of instrument to use, but not now. Now he needed to feed Luna. Begrudgingly, he decided he would need to wake up Lister. Lister was glad he did. He gladly checked the temperature and praised him for remembering everything. Rimmer removed his slippers and sat in bed beside Lister once the milk was an acceptable temperature and began feeding Luna.
She sucked greedily at the bottle as Rimmer and Lister chatted about how their lives were about to change. Rimmer, who had always been wary of change, was not nervous or worried as Lister would have suspected. "Why should I worry? Today you stuck with me through something neither one of us could have ever predicted. I'm a father. I have a beautiful little girl and someone who loves me as much as I love him. Right now, I feel like I could take on anything life- death – the Universe throws at me."
Lister chuckled and settled back down against his pillow, "love you too. See you in the mornin'. Night."
"Goodnight, Lister." Rimmer said, smiling down at Luna, who was looking up at him with his own dark brown eyes. After she finished he winded her and held her as she drifted back to sleep. "Goodnight Luna," he whispered, pressing his lips to her curls for a final time.