A/N : So what is Harry Potter Harry Potter Eats A Bear Ultimate Edition? Well I'll be clumping the chapters into 3-in-1 chapters and I'll be giving trivia about them. Prepare to be shocked. I'll also make some edits.

Harry Potter Eats A Bear Ultimate Edition

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Chapter 1.1:

Harry Potter and the Polar Bear

One day Harry Potter came in the arctic with a newspaper, eating an apple and playing with the Wii. I do not know how the heck he did it, but he did it. He sees a polar bear. He says: Hello polar bear!
But it was not a real polar bear. It was Voldemort! So he kills Harry Potter.
THE END
Teehee!

Originally this story was known as harry potter eats a bear, it was a one-shot and it was in French. The English version was known as harry potter eats a bear English. Yeah. And this wasn't my version, it was google translate's version! Originally every chapter was written in French first then translated to English but after I found that some chapters worked in one language but not in the other so, I decided some chapters'll (that should be a proper word in the dictionary) be English-exclusive and others French exclusive. Well it kind of worked. In the end the table was flipped and I was writing chapters in English first than in French and after a while I stopped making chapters in French. Go ahead, shun me.

Note that it was called Harry Potter and the polar bear.

This is what the chapter would look like if I wrote it.

Chapter 1.1.1

Harry Potter And the Polar Bear

One day Harry Potter came to the artic holding a newspaper, eating an apple and playing with the Wii. I don't know how the hell he did it but he did. He saw a polar bear. So he said. "Hello Polar Bear!"

But it wasn't a real polar bear. It was a Voldemort! So he killed Harry Potter

THE END

Real different I know. Now to the batcave… I mean next chapter!

Chapter 1.2:

Harry Potter and the Polar Bear

Chapter 2: Kill 'em all!

Another day Harry Potter went into the Antarctic. He carried with him a water pistol! I do not know why he did it but he did it. But he's an idiot. Not my fault. He sees a penguin. He says: Hello Mr. Dolphin. I'm Harrie Potter and you're a seal!

The penguin / dolphin / seal / polar bear / something like that said: No I'm not your meal! So the penguin / dolphin / seal / polar bear / something like that killed Harry Potter. Afterwards Voldemort killed penguin / dolphin / seal / polar bear / something like that to make this story interesting.

THE END

Teehee

MARIO TIME!

WTF!

Now this story came from my friend, Andrea after he found out that seal in French is phoque I know it sounds like fuck, and he looked at me and we said in unison nouveau chapitre which is French, and in English, new chapter!

Now this chap on HPEAB is called: I am not your meal! And on the story it's kill 'em all.

Now with this one I did edit it a bit making it a bit more fluent. But not by much.

But notice at the: Afterwards Voldemort killed penguin/…

Yep! No 'The'! Fail, I know. This chapter was funny in French but not so much in English.

Now to Stark Tower… I mean next chapter.

Chapter 1.3:

Harry Potter and Polar Bear
Chapter 3: Lord Voldemort (again)

One night Harry Potter came to the desert. He took a spoon. I do not know why he did that but he's an idiot. Not my fault! He sees a snake with a magic wand. Then the snake commanded: You shall not pass! The snake thinks he's Gandalf for some absurd reason. NO! Not true! He's being controlled by Lord Voldemort ... who is dressed like Mario for some absurd reason.
The snake points a pistol to Harry's Head, but Harry took an "A hard, black, realistic but not a real gun" and pointed at the head of the snake.
BING! BANG! BOOM! BLAH! BAD BOY! BOWSER! WAIT WTF! Who Said That!
It was Lord Voldemort.
BANG!
Now he's dead.
Who killed him? The world may never know!
Spoiler!
It was Barry Trotter!
THE END
Teehee

Wait who the heck is Barry Trotter?

Bad Boys, Nigahiga robbery and another title mix-up… let's go!

Yep, I know, I should probably apologize to Nigahiga. Plus bad pun, can you find it? Hint: desert, dessert

Crappy I know, but it was kinda going to my head with all the views. I was naïve.

And, I mixed up the title! HPEAB says: Gandalf? Who's he? Whilst it was: Lord Voldemort (again).

Also Guerra was evolving into my stories, and only hard-core HPEAB fans would know who he his, which leads me to ask, are there any Hard-core HPEAB fans? Probably not.

Also All I knew about Gandalf at the time was: You shall not pass. That was it.

A/N: So that was the first 3 chapters of this thing… HPEAB! Next three chapters in the next chapter, Chapter 2: Chapter Order Confusion! Hope you enjoy! Tell me what you think, if you liked it, or if you think you wasted ten minutes of your life on it or fight whether or not it is a waste of some ones time. Wow… I am referencing a story that was deleted ages ago, Spongebob eats a dog, 3 chapters long, 13 comments, 11 of which were about whether or not they're life was being wasted reading it. If you want to read the other chapters check out Harry Potter Eats A Bear!