Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds
Kate L. Bosher once said:
Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly, but it's something that you don't mind so much not having at other times.
With his coffee-maker as busy making coffee as the nearest toy-store would be selling gifts right before their closure for Christmas, Spencer Reid sat on his burgundy-coloured couch, contemplating his Christmas tree.
It was one of the artificial types which, if you didn't know it was a fake, actually could pass for the real kind. Spencer would have gotten himself a real tree, preferably a European Silver Fir since it was the first species to be used for Christmas trees. Yet working for the BAU was something that would not allow him to buy something that actually lived.
It dying when he was away was too big a risk. And even if it was just a tree, and a silly Christmas tree at that, he would rather not have anything die on him.
So he would make-do with his artificial Christmas tree, decorated with simple lights that cast a soft yellow hue across the green tips of the tree and lots of red and gold coloured baubles and ribbons.
His apartment was modest, decorated with the bare necessities since there was hardly any time spend within the comforts of his own house.
Yet Christmas had always been special to Reid and since everyone would try their hardest to at least have Christmas Day off of work he found it the perfect opportunity to decorate.
Christmas, once the day which celebrated the birth of Jesus and which by now had grown into an extravagant and commercial-based holiday which was celebrated by so many who did not even believe a thing Christians believed in.
Spencer wasn't a church-goer himself, didn't even truly believe in anything. He found it hard to simply believe a woman called the Virgin Mary gave birth to a child which actually died and came back to live.
No, no matter how much he had once, when he had been about ten, tried to wrap his mind around the faith he simply could not understand it. And with the way his mind worked, if things did not have a plausible explanation they were made up.
And he refused to believe in a fairy-tale.
Yet what he did believe in, was that Christmas was a time to be with family. When he had been little he'd been jealous of other children. They got big dinners and a lot of gifts while all he did on Christmas was light a candle since his mother insisted.
Yet now, with his mother institutionalized he understood how much lightning that candle had actually meant to him. Even at the age of eight.
And even though he had somehow gotten used to celebrating Christmas on his own he had hoped this year would be different.
A relationship, he found, could do that to a person's independence. He was still able to take care of himself yet he didn't feel as independent as he had done before. Because he now had another person's feelings to consider, another person's schedule to keep track off and even though his private schedule was empty nine out of ten times, it took some getting used to.
So, with his days carefully planned and free time split between sitting on his couch and spending time with his boyfriend he had hoped Christmas would be one of those times which he wouldn't have to spend alone.
Hope, though, was futile most of the time and even though he – yes, again – hoped that this time it wouldn't be, he knew it would yet again result in disappointment.
Because he'd only been dating Derek for three months, their relationship was nothing but awkwardness thus far and no matter what Morgan said, Spencer simply couldn't believe he truly was someone Derek could be in love with.
So when Morgan told him, with guilt shining clear in his dark eyes, that his mother had asked him to come down for Christmas Spencer hadn't been all that surprised.
He had accepted the denial of his proposal before he had even asked with a small smile and he had even gone so far as wishing Derek a good time. Even though, deep down, he hoped it would be the Christmas from hell for the other man.
He understood why he hadn't been asked to join Derek. It was to spare himself the trouble of coming up with excuses why he – sadly enough – couldn't attend the Morgan party.
Because he would be uncomfortable the entire time he would be there. The fact no-one even knew Derek was even remotely interested in men being one of the many things that scared Spencer.
Yet before his thoughts could even go down the track that went down-hill for sure, the sound of the doorbell rang through his apartment.
The genius blinked from his spot on the couch and he turned to the front-door with a frown. Christmas Eve, all further invitations rejected – sorry JJ, maybe next year? – and people set at ease – Garcia, I'll be fine on my own – there weren't many persons left who could possible visit him.
Maybe it was JJ, insisting he come with her and spend Christmas with her and her family, or perhaps Garcia hadn't believed him when he'd told her he didn't mind that Derek wouldn't be around for Christmas.
He stood up and dared to steal a glance at the grandfather clock which stood in the corner of the room. He shouldn't even try to get his hopes up for Derek's flight had left half an hour ago.
So, figuring it wasn't Morgan at the door and deciding none of the other team-members would come by Spencer made his way to the door with a frown settling on his face.
Who on earth could it possibly be?
"Just a sec," he called when he undid the deadbolt. Yet when he unlocked the door he was cautious, wishing for his gun right now because hell, there weren't any people he knew that would come visit him on Christmas Eve.
A shiver, predicting ominous things to be at the other side of the door, coursed through him and suddenly he found himself reluctant to open the door.
He wasn't someone who went looking for action, wasn't like Derek in that way. "Who is it anyway?" He asked, hoping his insecurity didn't reflect in his voice but he knew it did.
He held his breath while waiting for an answer. Three long seconds which almost had him break out in cold sweat.
He swallowed, then. He knew it was a stupid thing to be this afraid. But Elle had been attacked in her own house, Hotch too and Spencer had learned to be cautious. He didn't have a death-wish.
A chuckle, deep and rich, sounded through the door and Spencer's heart skipped a beat. It couldn't be…
"Just open the door, pretty boy."
A gasp passed Spencer's lips and he was quick to open the door, his eyes widened in disbelief as he stared at the man standing on his doorstep.
"Derek," he murmured while watching the other man. He's gorgeous, all covered in white snow-flakes, black wool coat and red scarf, the widest of grins spread on that beautiful face Reid could never help but love.
"Y-your plane…" he mustered questionary.
He swallowed, finding the current turn of events hard to believe. He knew so much, his mind almost like the ultimate encyclopaedia except the understanding of human emotions weren't included in his edition.
He knew how to handle himself and others, of course. But when it came to love, something he hadn't experienced before falling for Morgan, and an actual relationship Spencer was completely clueless.
Because he wanted to leap forward and bury his head in the crook of Derek's neck, inhale the musky and pine scent that was always around the other man, lay his arms against the strong biceps and he wanted for Derek's strong hands to press gently yet needy against the small of his back as they always did.
But they're in the doorway of Spencer's apartment, people were walking down the hall with the last of their groceries and two children stood whining near the stairs waiting for their parents to finally reach the top of the stairs.
And since they've never been intimate in public before – or have gone beyond making out due to Spencer's reluctance because of his inexperience – Reid was uncertain, fearful he might get pushed away.
Derek chuckled then. "I'm sure the plane left." He said with a shrug. He then looked at Spencer and his expression softened, the grin settling in a happy smile and his eyes glimmering with hidden affection.
Blinking, Spencer fumbled with the ends of his shirt and cocked his head to the side. "What are you doing, Derek?" He whispered. He needed to ask, for he didn't want to get the wrong idea.
Morgan stepped closer then, over the threshold and Spencer looked at him with wide eyes, yet his heart fluttered in his chest and he was sure his knees wobbled slightly when he was drawn into a strong yet loving embrace.
Slowly, and glancing over Derek's shoulder at the people in the hall that were by now watching the two grown men hugging in the doorway, Spencer returned the hug. Yet he only placed his hands on Morgan's arms, too uncertain to fully lean into the embrace. "Derek, people are watching." He whispered.
"Spencer," Derek pulled away with a small frown on his features. He then turned to close the front door and looked at the genius with a slightly sad smile.
"Y-you..." Spencer stuttered, scolding himself inwardly for ruining this moment but he couldn't help himself. "Your mother is bound to be worried. And we've only been dating three months which is relatively short. We aren't even an official couple yet so you don't have to pretend to be comfortable hugging me in public. Moreover, shouldn't you –"
His tirade was interrupted when gentle fingers lifted his chin and Spencer was forced to catch Derek's dark, enchanting eyes.
"I've been unfair to you, treating you as if you were just a fling." Morgan said and then lifted one of his hands to caress his thumb gently across the skin of Spencer's right cheek.
"Aah, it's who you are, I –"
"You don't mind. I know, you told me." Derek said. "But you should. You shouldn't want me like that."
Spencer swallowed. Where was this going? There was no way Derek was thinking of telling him they were over on Christmas Eve, before they'd even begun? "I want you in every way I can get you." He whispered.
"I know," Derek murmured while stroking a hand over Spencer's hair. "And I want you too, in every way possible."
Spencer held his breath and allowed his eyes to flutter close. Thank god he'd been wrong with his assumption he was getting dumped. He really needed to look at things a bit more brighter in the future. Perhaps it had something to do with his low self-confidence when it came to being loved, though.
But Derek was sure to fix that.
"So," Morgan started and pulled away from Spencer with a big grin crossing his features. He released the lanky man and started pulling off his jacket and scarf. "I let my mother know I'd come by some other time since I now have a boyfriend I need to spend Christmas with."
Spencer blinked, watching with widened eyes when Derek turned to him. "Boyfriend?"
With two steps Morgan stands in front of him, a wicked grin on his lips. "Yeah," he murmured. "Should've claimed you three months ago." He admitted, before leaning forward and stealing a kiss.
Spencer returned the kiss, shyly at first but when Derek's tongue sneaked its way into his mouth he ground his body against his boyfriend's. Gods, he loved that word.
When they pulled away several minutes later both stared at the other, smiling happily and Spencer felt giddy. He hugged Derek close, burying his head against the crook of the man's neck and inhaling his scent. "I love you." He whispered.
"Yeah," Derek agreed, holding Reid close while leaning his cheek against the genius's head. "Love you too."
And without a doubt Spencer knew that this would be the best Christmas ever.
The End