Disclaimer: I don't own No More Heroes, because if I did, Jasper Batt Jr. would be the practice dummy instead of the final boss in Desperate Struggle, and No More Heroes would feature online gameplay.
A.N.: This story is situated in RebukeX7's "Life Is A Game" series' universe, so if you lose yourself in this, go to his profile, and read his fics.
Finally, that fucking blimp brat was dead, blown to chunks, sent to the afterworld, BAM! Shot in the head, prontex! He's done… but Travis was going to the same path.
"WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
After that child bastard was blown up, Travis took the brunt, and was now falling off the building, surely to his death.
Suddenly, everything was on slow motion, as he started to think of everything that happened:
"Well, at least, everything's ended good… I'm sorry, Bishop… Alice… Shinobu… I'm sorry everyone…"
As he thought of this and was falling at the same time, a blond woman was riding a modified motorbike at extreme speeds.
"Hang in there, I'm coming..."
"TRAVIS, HOLD ON!" shouted Sylvia Christel, as she zoomed through the street with the Schpeltiger.
Eventually she saw Travis only fifty feet from hitting the cold asphalt floor, which would certainly shatter his body and that would leave him severely crippled, if not dead.
This sight left the blond woman filled with fear and tears in her eyes: She knew she couldn't reach him in time.
"TRAVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!"
The assassin opened his eyes and looked at the woman riding her bike, towards him.
"Sylvia! She won't get here on time… Now I wish I had a fucking time machine, instead of this fucking beam katana… Stupid eBay auction…"
Thirty feet…
"Please…"
Ten feet…
"Come on… anyone?"
Five feet…
"I'm in an emergency!"
One inch…
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuu uuuuu… Wait, what?!"
He opened his eyes again and looked at the floor in front of him, or technically, under him.
He lifted himself and looked around him. Everything was frozen. People looked like statues, and even Schelptiger's smokes were frozen—wait, SYLVIA!
He raced towards her:
"Hello? Sylvia, are you there?"
He waved his hand in front of her, nothing. He snapped his fingers once, twice, three times, nothing.
He stopped for a moment, before a droplet of blood came from his nose. He shook his head and sighed.
"Not now! But it's the only one thing left to do…"
He reached for his pants-
"DUDE! STOP THAT! HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY, NO?!"
Travis jumped with that shout, and pulling his pants back, he readied his Tsubaki-Mk III and turned around, prepared to strike at...
A boy with crimson hair and orange yellow bangs was probably on his late teens, with cyan eyes and a cross-scar on both cheeks. He was wearing a blue t-shirt with a strange emblem composed of an 'AXY' printed on it and grey de-attached sleeves on his arms, and black fingerless gloves. He was also wearing black pocket jeans, and a pair of blue, white and black rollerblades. Travis felt something odd coming from him.
"Who the fuck are you? And what the fuck is happening here?"
The boy just chuckled before he passed his right hand over his left sleeve and, lo and behold!
A WILD JASPER BATT JR. APPEARED!
Travis, seeing him, went ballistic and tried to kill him again, but was frozen in place… As he saw the boy stomp the suit-wearing brat into a ball, his face out.
With a maniac grin, he pulled out a giant club made of what looked like a model of the Sun, the Moon and the Earth fused together (AN: Earthmaul Club bitches!), and hit him, making the head explode, and let blood spill everywhere, while the body flew away, as he whistled.
"DAAAAAAMMMN! THAT WAS IN THE SLICE AND OUT THE PARK!"
With that, he turned back to the assassin, who was currently making a perfect impression of a guppy in an aquarium, while sweat dropping (How do you even do that?).
The boy looked sheepishly to him, making Travis turn his head.
"Sorry about that. Fucking brat made one of the worst final bosses ever. My name is Jusen. As to how I am here, that isn't important. But first, let's go to somewhere more appropriate to have this chat."
He then pulled his right sleeve with his right hand, covering it, and both of them disappeared.
~Later~
Travis found himself in the parking lot of the NO MORE HEROES motel. He blinked, and looked at the boy.
"Ok, how in the fuck are we back here?"
"Well, we aren't exactly back, as you put it, I just changed this room in order for you to feel comfortable… To someone out there, please don't sue me…"
"And wha…" "Oh! I froze time for you and the others, meaning no time will pass as we speak… but that won't matter soon…"
Travis' eye was twitching. Bad signal.
"Okay, explain to me, in motherfucking layman's terms, what the fucking shit is this!"
Jusen winced.
"Damn, telling you that in a complete speech would take me more than the fucking Pepsi factory to tell you everything. So let's get to the true business."
Eye twitch stopped. Disaster averted.
"Okay. Touchdown, Travis, whatever you prefer, you had a very fucked up plot. However, that is but a bit of what's coming for you."
"A bit of what's coming to me? What do you mean?" asked the assassin.
Jusen breathed notoriously.
"Big shit is coming ahead. Many things will affect not only your life, your universe, but a multitude of the infinity of other universes as well. I need not only your help, but of your friends, and allies, so you won't have a fucked up final boss! Also, think about all the others who died meaninglessly… Holly, Margaret, Jeane, just to name a few… All of them could have helped you!"
Travis thought about them and looked down.
"I know I could save them, but what can I do? I can't go back in time and change everything."
As he was looking down, he missed Jusen's dangerous smile.
"That's the wrong answer, my friend!" He pulled a nearby stool (Don't ask. But-. DON'T!) "Due to my sheer unpredictability, I somehow took possession of powers similar to… some people I won't mention, way too fucking awesome to sully their names in here, and I am able to grant some of them to you!"
Travis lifted his head back up so quickly, someone would say he had two faces.
"Really? Like what?"
"First, I can send you to the past, before Jeane began being harassed by your father. That way, you can shape your future the way you want it!"
Travis nodded.
"Then, the powers that I give you… I don't know how to exactly describe it, but: Physics are defined by you and your imagination… basically; you can be the player of your own fucking game. With me so far?"
Travis blinked once, twice, and asked:
"You're not an escapee from the psychiatric yard, are you? You're insane!"
"Please, everyone has its own reality, so everyone's insane!"
"… Point taken…"
Jusen smiled once again.
"Glad we are in agreement! So, what's your choice? You go on with your merry life, and forget that all of this happened and let all shit decide your future, or you want to make your own future?"
The assassin looked at him with a deadpan stare.
"Are you kidding me? You already know the answer."
Jusen then grinned and threw him a glowing rollerblade wheel, which fazed through his hand.
"Well then, your powers… You will receive what I promised, including the knowledge in how to use them. Also a personal advice, Travis… you're the fucking protagonist of this plot, you're entitled to bang a lot of women! You should have your own Harem man!"
As he thought of that, he grinned.
"Yeah, you're right, Jusen! Damn, why couldn't this happen sooner?"
He just shrugged his shoulder.
"Who knows? But now, close your eyes. When you open them, your game life will become anew. Good luck, Travis." They fist bumped before Travis closed his eyes.
With that, Jusen crossed his arms, the sleeves touching each other, before splitting them, as Travis disappeared.
Jusen sighed.
"I guess this is over, for now… He may have not saved the world or anything, but he has the potential, and we will need him… Rebuke…"
When he finished that, he disappeared with a blue flash of energy.
A.N.: And thus, this chapter is done! Special thanks to RebukeX7; as he helped me develop this, and to 117Jorn, as his Mass Effect story inspired me to write this (any references on this fic belong to their original owners, so give them credit as I do.)
This fic is being written by me along with RebukeX7, as he gave me his permission.
See ya next time!
~Jusen-Axy-11